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Trophy Mike 09-27-2009 09:03 PM

Can this newbie be saved...
The following is just one in a continuing series of postings (on a cruisers forum) detailing the tribulations of Harleyryder a first time rider and her 2009 HD Dyna Low Rider FLHXI 1584 affectionately named "Barbiedoll".

(Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:19 pm) "Friday Update ...Ok then we didn't go to the Walmart to practise ridin' 2day ..I took matters into my own hands and made a descion to just go for a liesurely ride as a passenger with my buddy ...But first i had to drive myself to his house and that meant gettin the hell off my driveway with the same "old" audience of spectators ...I'm having so much trouble gettin off my friggen driveway ...i get myself in a sweat just thinking about it never mind doin' it ..I have to back up and turn my Baby around to be able to drive away ..that seems to be my TEST after that its all good ..really ...My Bike is fairly heavy and i am very cautious with her
she is very Barbie-like and would have a shit fit if i did anything to mar her appearence ...she just had a major shopping BLING ..
So GASP if i should do anything to offend her ...So the pressure is on that i slowly im talking' turtles here back her J.Lo Butt out of the garage and then turn her to face the street and my audience ..then plan my escape route so i don't hit curbs cars pedestrians small animals stop sign driveways and anything else i haven't seen or taken into consideration ..It takes me about 10-15 mints for sure to plan/put into action/and surprise the hell out of the both of us and my audience ..I'm sweatin by this time hands/fingers are crippled by this point frm holdin in the clutch n brake ..I'm not religious or i would pray for God to send a Biker Angel (tall dark handsome) to drive my Baby off my driveway everytime i needed to get off my driveway ..Finally we get our act 2gether and i promise myself that if i get this Bitch off the driveway i'll go to church and get on my knees .. We are off almost smoothly in one smooth jerky throttle release The rest is all good ...I pick up my patient easy goin teacher and i ride as passenger on my own Bike and we ride into the warm on my back blue skies without a care in the world to Sutton to Tim's ..
Later.. i take a ride and just relax and go with it enjoyin' every second smilin like a lunatic and then it hits me ..I have to face the Demon Driveway again .......Its me Harleyryder."

Fishyhead 09-27-2009 09:08 PM

Cliff notes? I stop reading when I see a bunch of "..." and there sure are a lot of them.

aalegado 09-27-2009 10:21 PM

I see three options:
  1. Just do it and risk the harm to the bike.
  2. Get off and stay of the bike since the bike's integrity is worth more than her learning how to ride it.
  3. Get a throw-away bike that she can learn how to ride on.
#3 is probably her best option if she doesn't want to risk the bling on her Harley. the cost of a throw-away learner bike more or less than the cost of replacing damaged bling?

Kommando 09-28-2009 02:25 AM

Nope. 'Sounds like she was a bubblehead before she even got on a bike.

LongCliff 09-28-2009 04:32 AM

I don't get the appeal of the huge bike thing, and I never will.

Somebody get that girl an xt225, quick!

VFR_firefly 09-28-2009 05:26 AM

She didn't buy a big enough Harley. They make bigger ones. What was she thinking buying such a small bike?

Trophy Mike 09-28-2009 07:37 AM

(Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:21 am) "Greetings ..I rode to our M&G last nite without a hitch, even sort of backed in on the first try beside eveyone else my driveway situation has gotten much better ..much of the problems has always been the 'fear factor' about dropping my Barbiedoll scratching her bodyparts and having an audience to remind me of the fact and of course the overall 'control' of handling my Barbiedoll aginst her will ..She is a tad heavy and has a mind of her when she wants to go where i refuse too venture However we are getting to know and discover she is mostly right and I'm mostly wrong when it comes to making turns curves and stopping ..She is teaching me to trust her and we will not fall when making that turn or comming to a slow stop we can handle it 2gether we are a TEAM ..Getting off the driveway has been a torteous ordeal like i have mentioned more than once ..looking back even 2 weeks ago i smile because it took longer than I wanted it to take its virtually just backing up turning her and driving out in a nice slow controlled left hand turn and ridin' up the street without too much hassle ..I'm not saying its perfect but its darn near perfect The curb/dogs/pedistrians/signs/distractions/cars they are all still there but its all about confidence and control ..As i get those "ridin miles" under my butt so many things i thought about constantly just aren't stressing me as much Because they are becomming just part of the ridin' experince.. like thinking about gearing up gearing down/my throttle hand/fingers going dead//hugging my gas tank/get out of the blind spot /where's my HORN/ guess you get my drift Now what I'm mostly thinking is about "best chunk of change i ever spent"
I think it was Mapleafmike who has mentioned maybe my Bike is too big and i need to take another course ..I agree taking a course is never a bad thing and lookin into it to tweek and polish up my ridin' skills up too this point and pick up other skills i
need to keep me safe on the roads ..But Barbiedoll is stayin' she's my DREAM come true ..Well the weather looks promising so off i ride ..into the sunshine ..Over n out ...Its me Harleyryder"

DAKEZ 09-28-2009 08:16 AM

She will look back and say: "I should have listened to them" when she is crying over her Barbiedoll after she has to lay her down to avoid a crash.

Dumb bitch in a pirate suit.

She will learn. One can only hope that she does not get hurt too bad doing so.

VFR_firefly 09-28-2009 08:38 AM


Originally Posted by DAKEZ

Dumb bitch in a pirate suit.

It's a <i>lifestyle</i>...

Yossarian™ 09-28-2009 08:40 AM

So that's what I've been doing wrong all this time. I don't think of my bike and I as a TEAM when riding!

NativeSon 09-28-2009 08:51 AM


I think it was Mapleafmike who has mentioned maybe my Bike is too big and i need to take another course ..I agree taking a course is never a bad thing and lookin into it to tweek and polish up my ridin' skills up too this point and pick up other skills i
need to keep me safe on the roads ..But Barbiedoll is stayin' she's my DREAM come true ..Well the weather looks promising so off i ride ..into the sunshine ..Over n out ...Its me Harleyryder"

ignorance is bliss. my favorite is "tweek and polish up my ridin' skills". if you can't get out of your driveway, you're not tweaking a thing.

to quote my uncle, "you're so dumb you don't even know WHAT YOU DON'T YET KNOW"

LowAndSilent 09-28-2009 08:52 AM


Originally Posted by VFR_firefly
It's a lifestyle...

It's a lifesytle until it kills you.

Trophy Mike 09-28-2009 11:05 AM

(Thu Jul 09, 2009 10:54 pm) "So many BIKES 2nite ..We rode up and i totally went into a nervous twitter Some Guy dropped his Deckker on the side of the road and all I could see was all these guys running to HELP pick up his Bike
I rode around and went twice around the far North Parking Lot because I couldn't find a parking spot where i could get in and out easily I finally decided to get back up the Roadway and re-make the turn into the MAIN southside lot where I lost Schooner and the Deckker incident ..ummm ..steep incline so much traffic left n right car behind waiting for me to make up mind and turn I self-talked myself into getting control of the Voices in my head that I was going to Fall Over ..Went something like this HOLD Clutch in ..Hold Front Break ..Signal Left ..Look left..look Right..Check mirrors ..Crawl Up Slowly on Incline...Be careful with throttle ..Forget car behind me they just will have to wait for me to make turn..Crap another car waiting behind car one ..sorry your gonna have to wait too ..
Please Barbiedoll this is NOT the time to fall down ..Ok look again left right check mirrors ...NOPE bikes comming in no signals better wait till I know what there doing ..Ok big truck now CRAP someone Help me ...Ok looks good give her abit of throttle ..YEAHHH on highway make the TURN ..I see a tiny parkingspot in FRONT of all the BIKES smack in FRONT ..
I ride in slowly park and turn off Barbiedoll and throw up the Kickstand NIRVANA ...i apolgize to the DUDES I parked Barbiedoll in front of and they are so great about my Blocking them in !! ..When we get ready to leave it is sooo easy to ride off the parking lot cause its almost empty ..The ride home was great other than GEARING down to FIRST when I thought I was in 2nd and comming to a sudden LURCH when slowing down for the Traffic lites it scared me silly ..and for good measure I did it again further up the road
I turned left at highway 48 and Schooner kept going ..I rode around my Cresent making my Famous Right hand Turn on to my Driveway into my Garage like a Newbie Pro ..Smiled like a Luntic when i got off vibrating Barbiedoll and thanked the Creator for another SAFE ride Home with tabacco ...Its me Harleyryder Over n Out ..."

Nightrunner 09-28-2009 11:38 AM

I'm guessing she's smokin' hot though.

DAKEZ 09-28-2009 11:47 AM


Originally Posted by Nightrunner
I'm guessing she's smokin' hot though.

Nope. Overweight, friendly and funny.

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