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-   -   Why are most men so emasculated? (http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=834256)

Disco Stu 10-15-2012 07:58 AM

Why are most men so emasculated?
 
I ride everywhere I go. In hi-viz clown outfits. So I get lots of people telling me that they've always wanted a motorcycle 'but the wife won't allow it.' I'm not sure if so many men are really this pussified that they can't do what they want to do, or if they are just making excuses.

what do you do when guys say this to you? commiserate with them? tell them to grow a pair of balls and take charge of their lives? tell them to divorce the domineering beotch and enjoy the rest of their lives?

JimVonBaden 10-15-2012 08:01 AM

This should be in Jo momma.:deal

However, I think most men who are emasculated are that way because they prefer to avoid confrontation. It starts before they get married with the woman using sex to keep a man in his place. Later it is because they hate the fight.

On the other hand, many just use that as an excuse to not do something that scares them a bit too much. Basically they are actually afraid, but do not want to show it in front of their men friends.

Jim :brow

Grreatdog 10-15-2012 08:03 AM

I just figure different people have different priorities. I like to shoot but Grreatwife hates guns. So I don't own anything but my old childhood shotgun. No big deal to me because shooting isn't very important to me at all. Basically, I like her better than guns. To serious gun people that really care about shooting I would surely seem "emasculated". But to me it is an easy enough compromise because I don't actually care about it. Same with bikes.

I figure if a man really wanted to ride he would make a stand. If he doesn't, then he probably isn't that interested in riding and is just making conversation or maybe just curious. I don't know anybody that is really emasculated though I am sure there are some men that fits. But my wife has a stake in my life and I have a stake in hers. So we pick our priorities, make a stand where we must, compromise where we can and live happily ever after.

PMC 10-15-2012 08:06 AM

My best friend's wife hates bikes and is seriously freaked out by them
He rides a KLR and had a DRZ before that

She also is an anti gun nut, flat out BSC with the gun hate.
He has a 357 and we're probably hitting a gun show next month cause he wants a new Glock.

Some use the wife as an excuse, others keep it in check :deal
Others marry women who don't give a crap about any of that like my wife :lol3

TXRKC 10-15-2012 08:12 AM

I've wondered about this same question before. Not necessarily just regarding motorcycles, but in general. I have friends that cant do much of anything because it'll upset their wife or gf. I dont think I've ever heard a woman (that's not in an abusive relationship) say that they cant do something because it'll upset their husband or bf.

feathered 10-15-2012 08:16 AM

"I've always wanted to.." is kind of a weak statement from the get-go. Really? As long as you've been alive you've wanted this, and you've never made it happen? The wife isn't the problem. Before they were married, what was the excuse?

JimVonBaden 10-15-2012 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PMC (Post 19821042)
My best friend's wife hates bikes and is seriously freaked out by them
He rides a KLR and had a DRZ before that

She also is an anti gun nut, flat out BSC with the gun hate.
He has a 357 and we're probably hitting a gun show next month cause he wants a new Glock.

Some use the wife as an excuse, others keep it in check :deal
Others marry women who don't give a crap about any of that like my wife :lol3

IMHO ANY relationship in which the husband and wife are that far apart in ideals, is doomed to fail. Think staunch Republican married to an extreme Liberal.:eek1

Jim :brow

windmill 10-15-2012 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PMC (Post 19821042)
Others marry women who don't give a crap about any of that like my wife :lol3

Other than another woman, I cant even imagine my wife saying "you cant do that". Why would anybody put themselves in that situation?

PMC 10-15-2012 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimVonBaden (Post 19821189)
IMHO ANY relationship in which the husband and wife are that far apart in ideals, is doomed to fail. Think staunch Republican married to an extreme Liberal.:eek1

Jim :brow

I think in his case it's country boy gets married to city girl, they see most things the same way but he still has some South Dakota hick that just won't go away :D

Disco Stu 10-15-2012 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grreatdog (Post 19821026)
I just figure different people have different priorities. I like to shoot but Grreatwife hates guns. So I don't own anything but my old childhood shotgun. No big deal to me because shooting isn't very important to me at all. Basically, I like her better than guns. To serious gun people that really care about shooting I would surely seem "emasculated". But to me it is an easy enough compromise because I don't actually care about it. Same with bikes.

I'm all for reaching a happy medium on the home front. but many guys that I talk to sound like they are 12 and complaining that their mommy won't let them come out and play. Either they are making their wife sound like the bad guy, when in fact they choose not to ride for whatever reasons they have, or they are letting someone decide what they can and can't do.

If it's the former, I love my wife and genuinely want to be with her, so I wouldn't paint her in a negative light to other people in order to hide my personal choice of not riding/shooting, etc. Why would people try to make themselves look better to a stranger/acquaintance/office worker at the expense of denigrating their spouse?

If it's the latter, I just don't get it. During a previous life, when my ex-wife and I met, we both agreed that we didn't want children, we wanted to see the world. A couple of years after marriage, she told me that she wanted to have children. I said that I still didn't want any. A couple of weeks later, she told me that she stopped taking birth control, started taking fertility drugs and if I didn't like that I could leave. It took me about three days of thinking things over, but I decided to leave. She couldn't understand that I wasn't going along with her ultimatum.

Rob.G 10-15-2012 08:49 AM

Back before I got into bikes, I was into cars. I had a couple of 4th Camaros and a C4 Corvette, and ran a big mailing list (before web message forums were popular) about them. MANY times I would see posts like, "getting married, wife says I have to sell the car." Or, "Wife's pregnant, says I have to sell the car." Or whatever. I swore that would NEVER happen to me.

High Country Herb 10-15-2012 08:55 AM

This is just one small symptom of the change humans are going through. I seriously believe humans are becoming domesticated.

I once read a social science paper comparing domestication of various mammals. It talked about how domesticated dogs never mature beyond the mentality of a puppy, which is why they aren't so good at taking care of themselves in the wild, and rely on humans to do feed them.

The author then laid out a pretty strong case that humans are also being domesticated, exept it is the infrastructure of society that cares for us. Obviously, there are different degrees of domestication depending on how many generations have been docile. Ask your self, however: "How long would I survive if I were dropped into a forest naked?".

This docile nature manifests itself in many aspects of our lives. Standing up for what we want is one of them. That doesn't mean natural man needs to run roughshod over his spouse, but he should make more effort to get his way.

Jim Moore 10-15-2012 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disco Stu (Post 19821290)
During a previous life, when my ex-wife and I met, we both agreed that we didn't want children, we wanted to see the world. A couple of years after marriage, she told me that she wanted to have children. I said that I still didn't want any. A couple of weeks later, she told me that she stopped taking birth control, started taking fertility drugs and if I didn't like that I could leave. It took me about three days of thinking things over, but I decided to leave. She couldn't understand that I wasn't going along with her ultimatum.

But you were going along with her ultimatum. Kids or leave. "OK. Bye."

Rob.G 10-15-2012 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Country Herb (Post 19821356)
This is just one small symptom of the change humans are going through. I seriously believe humans are becoming domesticated.

I once read a social science paper comparing domestication of various mammals. It talked about how domesticated dogs never mature beyond the mentality of a puppy, which is why they aren't so good at taking care of themselves in the wild, and rely on humans to do feed them.

The author then laid out a pretty strong case that humans are also being domesticated, exept it is the infrastructure of society that cares for us. Obviously, there are different degrees of domestication depending on how many generations have been docile. Ask your self, however: "How long would I survive if I were dropped into a forest naked?".

This docile nature manifests itself in many aspects of our lives. Standing up for what we want is one of them. That doesn't mean natural man needs to run roughshod over his spouse, but he should make more effort to get his way.


This makes a lot of sense. And the current political state of affairs in the US is a perfect example. We have one side trying to create a culture of dependency, where everybody is reliant upon government, and the other side, that advocates self-sufficiency.

Rob

Grreatdog 10-15-2012 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PMC (Post 19821264)
I think in his case it's country boy gets married to city girl, they see most things the same way but he still has some South Dakota hick that just won't go away :D

In my case under educated southern country boy married an over educated big city midwestern girl. How the hell we have managed for 25 years is anybody's guess. She is probably the only woman from her high school class that knows how throw a cast net and chase off backyard alligators. And I am probably the only guy from my high school class that goes to Wrigley Field, stays in the Palmer House and doesn't want to die in freezing weather.

As for bikes, I came with motorcycle baggage. She came with nice clothes and shoes baggage. Separate checking accounts solved that one. Then we moved to Maryland where we ain't really in the south but aren't quite in the north.


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