Right..so, moving right along, this is the story of Mr. Nutty and his brief (maybe) trip around the Adirondack Mountains of Upstate (real
upstate. not that fake "oh, I live in Pookipsee" shit. that ain't upstate, kids.), New York.
My time with Mr. Nutty started with a bang, not a whimper when I rescued it/him from the dark, scary confines of a guardrail next to a covered bridge in Vermont, placed there by the Evil Dr. Boatman. I was so excited to save The Nutster that I forgot to take a picture of my bike at the scene, and act which caused much consternation and hand wringing amongst the faithful, but ultimately ended with laughter, cause Motorcycle People are the Coolest People there are.
Sing it with me now..."People.......people who like motorcycle people...."
Our first order of business was the much anticipated and ballyhooed Adirondack Tag Game 100th Tag Extravaganza and Show. You never heard of it? Well, we ballyhooed the shit out of it. We even extravaganza'd it a little. We're a simple folk, ya see.
The Extravaganza got more...extravagant with every mile ridden:
All the way to the Tail O The Pup, where we may have ballyhooed a little, but I ain't sayin. What happens in the 'Daks, stays in the 'Daks:
By the way, every eatery claims to be in the "The Heart Of The Adirondacks". There outta be a study, I tell ya.
After we were all Ballyhooed and Extravaganza'd out, I headed back to Long Lake to put my nefarious plan into action...or possibly to place The Nuttinator in his new, hopefully brief hiding spot.
Welcome to Long Lake, New York. (We're comin into town from the South on 30 here...I suggest you do the same.) That's upstate. The real
It's a tourist town, for sure. Hotels out number the residents three to one. Really. I looked it up.
If you were of the Nutty Doc (Duc??) type, we have a place for you:
Sing it with me now....."Ah....found....mah....thrill...(bah dum, bah dah dah dum)...ooohn Blueberry Hill..."
(I wonder if that's really the hill in question, the one he found his "thrill" on? It's right next to the road, lotsa traffic through there. Hmm. That's kinda sexy!)
Um...ya know, fook it. I ain't touching this one:
Little further on down the road we spot this sign (hopefully):
Take a right right (right? Yeah, right) after it:
There's even a little white arrow spray painted on the road to help you along. I thought of everything, I tell ya.
You can go straight or you can go right...or you can run straight into this truck and boat...but I recommend bearing right:
Orta be lookin at this (minus my bike):
Enter on the far right side, down three gears and let off the brakes early, flick it in before the crest, drop your knee and hard on the gas at the exit, drifting the back end all the way out to the paint
Go on up the hill...
Wide open, tucked in under the paint, tach at the redline and shift second, third, fourth, you should be just pulling fifth gear as you wheelie over the crest and out of sight
Follow the pavement to the right (I don't know where that road goes if you don't turn. Gotta check the out sometime.)
Hard on the brakes, back tire wavering in the air, downshift all the way to first for this tight right
Hug the inside of the right, short shift to third and breath it just a little as you enter the left, then pin it
You're doin great:
If you're riding like my instructions there's no way in hell you're gonna make that next right, and will probably die a fiery death in those rocks straight ahead. may as well make it spectacular
Hah! See that pavilion? (Did you know Pavilion is spelled with one "L"? I didn't know that till just now. It's French, ya know. Pavilion. It means "To Pavil". Fascinating stuff, I'm sure):
Yep, there's my bike parked there in the pavilion:
Gettin closer to my bike. Parked there. In the pavilion:
Yup, there's my bike parked there at the pavilion. I wanna be really fuckin clear on this part: That's my bike. It's at the site of the tag drop. In the pavilion. I'm typing hard. Are we clear on this?:
K. See that number 6 on the floor of the pavilion right by the front tire of my bike? In the pavilion? At the tag drop?:
Go stand on it and gaze over the beautiful view of Long Lake. Notice the details of the pole right in front of you: The water thingy on the ground, the electrical thingies on the pole, the subtle shading. Bold, yet stately:
Lets walk up to the pole, shall we? Hmm...gotta water spigot thingy on the other side:
Boy there's some fine work right there...was Crankshaft here??
That's our pole. Now...look up...alllll the way up:
Fookon 'Ell, Mate! It's the Mr. Nut Job!! Whassa he hiding up dere about?
BTW, this is BYOCB if you're a short arse like me:
Whelp...there it is kids. The (dah, daa daa DAAAAA!!) USA TOR drop, all official-like, and including a picture of my bike. In the pavilion. At the drop.
We be out.