34 years old.
The guy who hired me in St. Louis said part of the deal was buying a bike along with him. Laughs all around, kidding, right?
Two months later he says "this is the day."
He's my boss, gotta play nice. Go down to the Honda dealership. He buys a little 250 Ninja or some such shit. I buy a V45 (?) Magna. Accelerated faster than anything I've owned since. Fun. He rode mine back, I learned the basics in a parking lot. Froze leaving a traffic light soon after getting it, wouldn't lean into a turn, slowly scraped into the kerb and toppled over, kinda like the tricycle lady on Laugh In.
Got scared riding on 6-lane interstates, the bike was light and got blown around. Saw a K75 at the bike show a year later, fell in love with the big round headlight, and the bike was a lot heavier and more stable.
Rode that until I got to Atlanta, where the beltway demanded more get up and go. So I got the GS for the extra ponies, the handling, the looks and the do-all ability.
I actually had a bike for about a week in college, a 2-stroke. I knew nothing about bikes, including the need for oil in the gas. Had it transported it back to my place. Rode it maybe twice. It was a Yamaha of some kind. When I wrenched on the gas, it about threw me off and pulled my arms out of their sockets. Scared the shit out of me. I ruined that bike. Didn't know diddly about oil/gas, seized it up. But not before it threw me in the middle of downtown traffic.