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Old 11-09-2011, 03:53 PM   #65
Purveyor of Awesome
RidingDonkeys's Avatar
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Moscow, Russia
Oddometer: 9,144

I had a couple come up to me today at the local Cycle Gear store. Mid 40's guy with mid 20's trophy wife, riding a Goldwing. She's drooling over the Ural, he's asking questions like he knows what he's talking about, and generally being a dick. I'll call him, Dick.

Dick: What is THAT thing?

Pretty wife: I don't know but I WANT one!

Me: It's a Ural, a Russian motorcycle.

Dick: I bet that thing weighs a ton! Can't go fast can you?

Me: Well, it weighs less than a Goldwing, but going fast isn't what this thing is about. A Ural makes you enjoy the ride.

Pretty wife: (Still drooling) I LOVE THIS BIKE! This is what I want!

Dick: Looks flimsy.

Me: Nope, made of steel. Not a lot of plastic on it at all.

Dick: Bet you can't go far on that seat.

Me: (Getting aggravated). Well, my wife drove it over 1000 miles home when she picked it up this Summer. Hell, two of my bikes don't even have rear suspension, so I find it quite comfortable. I guess it all comes down to what you're tough enough to handle.

Pretty wife: (Grins, she got the joke) Can I sit in the sidecar?

Dick: (Blank stare, he thinks I just made fun of him, but isn't sure.)

Me: (Going for the kill) Well, you've got a helmet. I'll take you for a spin if you want.

Pretty wife: That would be AWESOME! My name is Abby. (Shakes my hand)

Dick: I don't think we have time....

Abby (formerly known as Pretty Wife): Oh hush, we'll be back in a minute. Go ahead and start trying on jackets.

Me: Be back in a few! (VROOOOOOMMMM!!!!!)

She loved every bit of the short ride, and when we got back, she helped me pick out gloves for my wife. Funny thing, I never heard a peep out of him again, but the guys at the store were laughing their asses off.
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Clinging to sanity, one motorcycle at a time.
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