I had a couple come up to me today at the local Cycle Gear store. Mid 40's guy with mid 20's trophy wife, riding a Goldwing. She's drooling over the Ural, he's asking questions like he knows what he's talking about, and generally being a dick. I'll call him, Dick.
Dick: What is THAT thing?
Pretty wife: I don't know but I WANT one!
Me: It's a Ural, a Russian motorcycle.
Dick: I bet that thing weighs a ton! Can't go fast can you?
Me: Well, it weighs less than a Goldwing, but going fast isn't what this thing is about. A Ural makes you enjoy the ride.
Pretty wife: (Still drooling) I LOVE THIS BIKE! This is what I want!
Dick: Looks flimsy.
Me: Nope, made of steel. Not a lot of plastic on it at all.
Dick: Bet you can't go far on that seat.
Me: (Getting aggravated). Well, my wife drove it over 1000 miles home when she picked it up this Summer. Hell, two of my bikes don't even have rear suspension, so I find it quite comfortable. I guess it all comes down to what you're tough enough to handle.
Pretty wife: (Grins, she got the joke) Can I sit in the sidecar?
Dick: (Blank stare, he thinks I just made fun of him, but isn't sure.)
Me: (Going for the kill) Well, you've got a helmet. I'll take you for a spin if you want.
Pretty wife: That would be AWESOME! My name is Abby. (Shakes my hand)
Dick: I don't think we have time....
Abby (formerly known as Pretty Wife): Oh hush, we'll be back in a minute. Go ahead and start trying on jackets.
Me: Be back in a few! (VROOOOOOMMMM!!!!!)
She loved every bit of the short ride, and when we got back, she helped me pick out gloves for my wife. Funny thing, I never heard a peep out of him again, but the guys at the store were laughing their asses off.