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Old 08-25-2012, 04:02 PM   #8
Mmmm....Orange Kool-aid
Katoom119's Avatar
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Knoxville, TN
Oddometer: 1,837
"Where The Hell Are We" Ride

KTM Mike, being our Fearless Leader, has deemed me worthy to lead a ride this year. This could either be an epic experience, the stories of which you will later regale to your grandchildren, or I could end up on your hit list, you'll kick my bike over, say mean things to me and fart in my general direction whenever you have the chance.

That being said....

SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY 10:00 por la maņana at the front parking lot

The ride:

It will consist of pavement, dirt roads, small gravel, and then slightly bigger gravel, roughly in that order. I'm going to try and make this, for lack of better terms, an Intro to Gravel ride. There will be the ever present chance to haul the proverbial mail but if you've never ridden on gravel and want to, come on out.

The bikes:

I'm going to limit this ride to dual-sporty bikes, meaning you'll need some ground clearance. Some of the roads have rather large rocks and there is one road with slightly deep gravel. If you're on something that doesn't have a skid plate you're going to want to throw the bike off the mountain by the end of the day.

R1200GS/A and smaller, KTM Anything and smaller , Triumph Tigers and whatever that new monstrosity their coming out with, and any other bike of that style with really any type of tires are welcome.

You do not have to have knobbies; I could ride this on Pilot Powers. It's probably 75% pavement, 25% off road.

The requirements:

I'm still working on how far you need to be able to run between gas stops, but figure on around 100 miles. That'll be a safe figure.

You must have the tools and parts for your bike, period. See Mike's post about stuff you need to bring.

If you've never ridden off road, that's fine, I'll be more than happy to teach you. However, you MUST be comfortable on your bike. The reasoning is that if you're still trying to be comfortable on pavement, you may wind up hating life by the end of the day off road. It takes all your concentration, so you shouldn't be thinking about riding the bike; it should be second nature.

Other Stuff I Forgot:

We'll have fun.

The fast guys will go fast and the slow guys will go slow.

We'll wait on you.

We'll use the relay system so that everyone can ride at their speed and comfort level.

We may even find Jimmy Hoffa; there's no telling.

We will leave at the Black Bear Resort parking lot at 10:00 am. By 10 I mean that at 10:05 I'm putting the bike in gear and saying, "Hey ya'll watch this."

A preliminary route on Garmin BaseCamp shows the entire trip at 211 miles. This may change depending on weather, speed of the group, and Velociraptor attacks.

We will stop in some places for you to take pictures of scenery that would lead men to become poets. I think. I'm not a poet. Huked on fonix werked fer me.

We will pass go. I'm not giving you $200.

We will be back in time to be first in the beer line. Or, depending on the number, ability, and badass-ness of the group, we can make the ride longer to where we stagger into camp after dark with bikes covered in mud, 1 or more people bleeding, saying "Man you should have seen..."
Those who dance are considered crazy by those who do not hear the music.
I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world. - Radmacher

5 Cylinders vs. Moab..........My East Tennessee.........Internships may go to Hell and I will go to Alaska

Katoom119 screwed with this post 04-16-2013 at 07:42 AM Reason: I did stuff
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