Actually offsetting the crank does work fine on a Vee engine. The crank is rotating the same way for both banks, so the big end of the rod is coming over the top to the same side. Offsetting the crank over to that side that the rod big end is moving (known as the Thrust Side) will get you the mechanical advantage on both banks.
Reducing side load on the thrust side will make the pistons a bit noisier, but you can help that by offsetting the piston pin over as well. With an offset crank, there is also a bit of NVH due to the resulting uneven piston movement. This is the main reason it is not done on modern engines.
"Son, I thought by now you would have run out of stupid."