The name of this thread should be changed to "Damn G&T's!"
The cell phone was not the culprit.
This tale just serves as further illustration as to why I do not mix motorcycles and alcohol.
Descriptive writing is not that easy. I certainly could not tell what happened based on the original post, or even after several other attemps at clarification. Perhaps there were more G & T's consumed before posting?
The author knows in his head what happened, but clearly explaining it to others requires a certain discipline. The cutesy prose, while entertaining to read, does not serve the writer well in this particular instance. There are thousands and thousands of riders on this forum for whom english is a second language - it's not particularly polite to insult them because they could not interpret the cryptic writing style.