There are all sorts of people: bossy, proud, submissive, leaders, followers, etc. Some folks combine many of the aforementioned traits. I have learned over the years never to speak for anybody else, so here are a couple of examples from my life.
Wife #1 knew and understood my enthusiasm for motorcycling. She chose to become a part of it. Only once, in 12 years, did she ask me not to ride - bad weather. Though I did not like to drive the car, I did that day.
Wife #2 (current one, and best one, by far) got to know me after both of us were single for ten years, meaning both of us were pretty set in having things our own way. After a few dates, we decided to pursue a relationship. I knew I had to let her know before the relationship progressed as to what motorcycling means to me, how important it is to me, how much it is part of me. She got it, and still gets it. She participates with me as much as she can. The reason I needed to tell her up front is that most non-bikers do not understand what it means for some of us to ride our motorcycles. How can they?
To the "let" thing: If all of us researched what character traits our partner needs to have as we research what oil to run, well, I'm guessing there would be a lot less divorces....
A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.
Give it more gas, if it doesn't solve the problem it will at least end the suspense.