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Old 10-20-2012, 11:06 AM   #143
PhilB
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Joined: Sep 2012
Location: New Hampshire
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Veteran Noob View Post
I'm sure others have heard this;

A woman marries a man thinking she can change him into what she wants him to be and is pissed when she can't. A man marries a woman expecting she'll never change and is then pissed when she does.

I do not take well to ultimatums or any definitive one sided declarations (i.e. you can't). My wife has learned this the hard way. I am open to compromise when arrived at through thoughtful discussion (although there are some subjects on which I will not compromise).
Any form of "it's either me or (insert point of contention)" is just emotional terrorism (and isn't the sole domain of one gender). I've summarily ended more than a few relationships for this kind of behavior.
My friends still get a laugh talking about a former GF that I dated for about 4 months. She was a great gal and, although I was nowhere near ready to pop the question, she had all the signs of being the one. Due to the logistics of our lives, she had only been to my house maybe three times and had never spent a night there (we were spending at least two nights a week and most weekends at her place). The first night she was going to spend at my house was after a hockey game. After the game she balked upon realizing that I was taking my gear in the house. She was adamant about the gear being left in the garage. I didn't argue the point (mostly just nodded and said "uh huh") and went ahead and, as usual, hung the gear in the basement to dry. Realizing that her protestations were getting her nowhere, she finally declared "I'm not sleeping in this house if that stinky crap can't be left in the garage!", then walked out the front door and stood on the porch, I'm sure expecting me to capitulate. She declined my offer to let her call a cab or a friend for a ride, so I handed her purse to her, shut the door, locked up the house, turned out the lights and went to bed. After about ten minutes she knocked a few times and then gave up.
Exactly. I had this down by age 6, when my best friend's family went on vacation, and I played with another kid on the block while he was gone. My friend didn't like the other kid, and I wasn't that fond of him either, but he was OK. When my friend got back, he told me I couldn't play with the other kid any more if I wanted to still be his friend. I stood up and went home. I don't do ultimatums, giving or receiving.

PhilB
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