Originally Posted by opmike
I'd never marry into a "let" relationship. I'm not going to "let" them doing anything and they aren't going to "let" me do anything either. We're both goddamned adults, and a relationship isn't the place to put all your pre-existing passions and interests on hold or to have their continuation or cessation dependent entirely upon someone's irrational little biases. Should there be compromises? Sure. But things like, "Well, guns are bad. They scare me!" isn't the same kind of argument as, "Well, we can't really afford that LaRue upper or Nightforce right now because of X, Y, and Z." Objective financial issues can be a clear and present problem. Something like fear is often borne out of misconceptions and can often be cured with a few trips to the range. Why would I yield a passion of mine so quickly to something so potentially transient?
I have interest in science (including evolutionary biology), motorcycles, guns, cars, airplanes, and motorsports. I don't expect to hear any complaining from anyone else regarding these interests unless they are somehow becoming overly intrusive upon the relationship, financially, etc...
Luckily, I've been able to find women with similar views. She buys her shit, watches her shit, reads her shit, and goes to her shit...I do the same on my end. Most often there's some overlap, sometimes not, and it's never turned into an issue. I respect a person who will make a real effort to become interested or otherwise supportive of someone else's interests, and I always make an effort to do the same. I see a relationship as being a place for growth, not a prison.
Life's too short to start changing and molding who you as a person just to keep someone else happy. Maybe I'm a selfish bastard, but for me, if it came down to the wire and I HAD to choose, a happy life means more than a happy spouse if said spouse will only be appeased if I change who I am. It ain't gonna happen and I wouldn't dare ask her to do the same. So far, I've been able to keep both the life and spouse at comparable levels of happiness. YMMV.