Best bet is to find a bike shop or a bike accessory shop which has women at the counter. There are a few (very few), at least here.
My wife rides as well, and with about 10 shops available locally, only one is worth walking in the door if you are a woman. It's not a place I normally shop at (expensive end of the range) but they stock gear for women and the staff listen.
With luck, you'll even be able to find something that isn't pink.