Looks somewhat familiar. Glad you're still walking the Earth. Don't worry about the groin thing, I did the same thing. I was walking around with a "bag" of plums in my shorts for about a week or so. Looked awful, but worked fine
The way I look at it, if you've lasted this long chances are this ain't the way you'll go out. I had a good friend of mine slip in the shower last month. He knocked himself unconscious and died by choking on his tongue. If it's not the big things, it'll be the little things that wil get you when you're unprepared.