I'll have you all know, I was in stitches reading some of these at work.
Unfortunately, I have a few of my own. I work with some very large and powerful lasers, one of which is capable of cutting steel 1.25" thick. We have a new one that we are in the process of getting up and running, and I ran into a problem I feel would be perfect for this thread:
Keep your head clear of the movement system's path. There isn't much warning that it's about to traverse, and there is zero warning about where it will traverse to. 7,800 IPM (Inches Per Minute) is faster than you think. Especially when the next fastest laser in the shop only traverses at 1,968 IPM. 7,800 IPM is enough to put you on the ground hard enough that you slide for a foot or so. But don't worry boss, I'm not saying I told you so in my head or anything.
Another fun-filled metal shop incident involved a very old rod-straightening machine. It uses rollers to squeeze a 20 foot long rod anywhere from .500" diameter to 1" diameter, spinning it and squeezing it to make it straight. When it gets bound up, it's usually because one rod has not left the machine before the next one got fed in. Best way to get it loose was to turn the rods with a 4' pipe wrench until one could be removed by hand, then start the machine back up. It's very important to remove the big pipe wrench from the rod before starting the machine, since chances are I was a dumbass 20 year old kid leaning over the rod to see into the machine to make sure it didn't get stuck again. The pipe wrench hit me in the chest and tossed all 140 pounds of me over the machine and into the floor.
Ahh yes one of my favorites - don't start a new CNC program and walk away. There might be an unpleasant surprise when you get back. Let it run a couple first. When you cause a 5 foot by 10 foot piece of 1/2" plate to be scrapped people get upset about it.
A BMW driver (car, not bike) a few months back had one of those educational moments - when driving through the middle of nowhere in Oklahoma, always remember that the Combine has the right of way.