I had an odd encounter the other day
I was at a pub for a classic bike meet and I decided to go on my (kickstart only) supermoto which doesn't always play ball when starting from cold. An older guy comes up to me and wants to chat about bike things then he becomes an expert mechanic and starts pointing out all of the things that are "wrong" with my bike. The chain is too loose, the chain is rubbing on the tyre, the tyre is too close to the swingarm, your numberplate is too small.... I decided to bail out at that point as my friends had left me alone with this guy who was starting to make me feel uncomfortable! I hop on, give it a few kicks and get nothing back. I decompress, try again, still nothing. While I am fiddling with the choke he walks back over looking very concerned and spits this gem out
"Oh no! Has someone STOLEN YOUR SPARK PLUG?"
I am pleased to say that nobody stole my spark plug, my chain is not too loose nor are my tyres rubbing on anything and I made it home safely!