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Old 03-04-2013, 05:03 PM   #47
DaFoole OP
Erudite inchoate...
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Joined: Jun 2004
Location: BFE, SW Oregon/SF BayO'rhea
Oddometer: 4,317
Welcome Back!!

As promised...


So, you're heading to Mexico/Baja....

Let's face it. It's not gonna be Howard Johnsons/Best Western/Micky D's, et al out there.....

Your going into the unknown....

New food, smelly bathrooms, outside eateries, bad water.....

Possibilities loom.....

Always pay attention to the food you eat....

....lest you find yourself in a personal hygiene pickle!!!!

Now we have discussed these issues in an indirect fashion previously....

But, you say, "DaFoole, what if I SHART myself?!?!"

"How do I treat this malady that will potentially ruin my $1200 Whale Foreskin suit and/or custom $600 dollar heated seat?"

Well, 1st off,'re and ADVENTURE rider!!!! Don't let this stand in the way of seeing, experiencing the culture and foods you came here to experience!! There IS help!!

I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, DaFoole's Patented SHART Kit!!!! (Patent Pending....)

No more do you need fear that sinking feeling of realizing that little "poof" you released is now running down your leg!

No more do you need to face the ignominy of halting your fellow riders while you trash a local bathroom cleaning that which cannot be cleaned!!

This kit was field tested and perfected by yours truly under grueling conditions involving chorizo, nachos, beer and possibly tequila shots while passing through Green River, Utah after a fairly eventful night in Moab!!!!!

In each kit there is included two(!!) packs of baby wipes, approx 1/2 roll of strong, yet soft toilet paper and a mesh synthetic pair of underwear which will allow the user to vent the offending gasses (NOT RECOMMENDED!!!!) as he/she continues to ride throughout the day! (DaFoole will NOT be responsible for any clogged toilets as a result of using said kit....)

But wait! There's more!

If you chose to buy today we will include (at NO extra charge!) a handy small squirt bottle of bleach to clean you legs, boots and socks of any residue which might offend your fellow riders!

"So, DaFoole, how much is this kit?"

$29.25!! Yes, you heard it right! $29.95 gets you all you see above!

Operators are standing by!!! (And to show I'm not the heartless bastard you all might think, 2 cents of every purchase goes to help this spastic, whining, puling young man ( to achieve his goals and hopefully help to buy his next shower....) I've noted before...I'm a giver!!

Oh, and in regards to personal hygiene bring some soap, toothpaste, deodorant, and some other things.....

Carry on.....
"...when I handed the 40 ouncer to him, he got that far off stare that a cat gets when it just gets done licking its ass for the last 15". Yeah, THAT stare." -WTF-Over
"Don't come in here with your thoughtfulness, empathy, and reason... this is shit, up with which, I shall not put." -Boondoggle

DaFoole screwed with this post 03-05-2013 at 05:46 AM
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