We've all got one of those friends...

At rugby practice yesterday - field manager turned off the lights on us as we were gathering up our stuff.(five minutes early) I ran over to my bike and pulled it in next to where we were gathered, trying to sort out gear, change out of cleats, sign in the newbies, etc... and shut it down and turned the lights on. No sweat.

I'm in the middle of getting my cleats off and I hear my bike start cranking... I look up, and one of the guys (winger, go figure) is sitting on my bike cranking the hell out of it, and wondering why it won't start. I stand up and helpfully point out the kill switch is OFF. Dude, get off the bike.

Everyone leaves, I go to start up for my ride home - yup, battery light illuminates. Blown fuse. Thanks, bro. :huh

I wouldn't have minded if he'd asked. He's a good friend, just kind of one of those spacy goofball types.

I humiliated him on our club's page for retaliation. (Yeah, you totally blew a 25 amp fuse, you're gonna have to cover that... 'sorry, so sorry, I'll totally make it up to you' I finally let him know that he owes me less than a buck. All in good fun. )

We've all messed with buddy's bikes - but what stuff have your non-riding friends screwed up just by not knowing much about bikes?

There's nothing like a clueless ass grabbing the throttle and twisting it to redline and beyond while the bike is sitting there idling to warm up because you just started it after four hours on the golf course.:ddog

Went out on a service call one day just after I bought my 950SE...(I leave it parked in front of the bosses ground level office window....3 feet from his desk).
Later in the day he tells me that he sat on it to show a customer and it fell over as he set it back on the kick stand.
I was prety pissed off but no harm was done.

Here is a picture of my boot with 2 dead salmon

I used to have one of those clamp on type of cruise controls on my GS1100E, and my brother would turn it on full throttle, and clamp it down. Go to start it, instant redline. So I would pull one or both of his outer spark plug wires loose, not off, just loose, it would start and idle fine, but under a good load, would start to miss, usually he remembered, but every once in a while he would reach down and push it back on, get the shit shocked out of him. What else are brothers for? Or turning off the gas. Or turning the idle up to 4000 rpm.

I love you, brother.

Salmon? Must be a Pacific Northwest thing. :huh

But yeah, I don't understand what makes people think it's ok to just jump on without asking. Would they see a nice car in the parking lot and just go sit in it? I wouldn't even jump on someone's bicycle without asking. These aren't cheap toys. Clearly I don't get it. Do I WANT to sit on other bikes? Yup, but I ask.

The revving one is another common one... hey, lemme go sit in your car and rev the piss out of it. WTH?!!!

Ok. I clearly need some coffee this morning before someone gets hurt.

Usually people climb on, pull it off the side stand and then promptly dump it over because it's taller and heavier than they think it should be.

One particular know-it-all that I know broke the key off in the ignition for me. I'm not sure if he was pushing on the bars and jamming the steering lock pin or if the key wasn't all the way in but he tried to blame it on me because his bike has never done that.

I'm with you.. I think it's very poor etiquette in my view and for fellow riders to do so is grounds for dismissal..

Definitely didn't know the chump....

YEARS ago I was on my way to Bryar Raceway (now know as New Hampshire Motor Speedway- told you it was YEARS ago) with my race bike (mod prod) on an open trailer.

I stopped somewhere for a quick dinner and come back out to find some A hole sitting on the bike (engine off thankfully because the key was in the ignition), bouncing up and down, working all the controls and making vroom-vroom noises for his wife(?) and another couple.

I walk up and WTF?. No apologies, nothing. Just slowly got off and they walked away.

I'm still laughing about that.

I'd expect that from a kid, not a grown man. Wow! Maybe they were too embarrassed to know what to say?

Even though I trust most of my friends not to drop my bike if they were to sit on it, I can't imagine any of them doing so without asking. If I found a stranger sitting on my bike or otherwise messing with it, things would get ugly pretty quickly

That is very risky. Mid eighties, some friends and I are standing outside my car after leaving a restaurant (one of my friends having a post meal smoke; no smoking in my car). Couple spots over is a guy sitting on a 650 Nighthawk twisting on the throttle and talking to a small group of people standing around him. Up walks this kid, on the smaller side, couldn't have been more than 18 (he looked about 15). Kid takes the helmet off the bar and stands there looking at the guy. Laughing, the guy gets off the bike and says something like "oh, this is yours, nice bike, here, you can have it back." Without preamble or any other indication, kid smashes helmet in to guys face. He followed that up with 3 or 4 more shots while the guy is on the ground. One of my buddies on the passenger side of my car stepped in when it looked like one of the guys buddies was going to intervene. Kid gets done and says "get your own F*****g bike, a**hole." Guy's head and face are a gory mess, he's sobbing and one of the girls with him runs in to the restaurant to call the police (uh, what about an ambulance?). We tell the kid to beat it and it couldn't have been more than two minutes after the he's gone that the first squad car pulled up. Guy had four friends with him and none of them thought to get the kid's plate. I don't think the cops believed us when we told them it looked like the guy was trying to make off with the bike, but they didn't have much sympathy for the guy when they found out he was dickin' around on some strangers bike. One of them asked the guy's friends what they would do if they were to find some stranger sitting in their car playing with the buttons. We gave our names and contact info, left and never heard anything else about it.

Those are often one and the same.

My greatest damage was suffered when my younger son was genuinely trying to be helpful and dried my visor after I had washed it and put it down to air dry.
It was air drying, because the visor's Fog City insert is very scratch prone. QED, after the rubbing dry. Oh well.

I had a friend who wanted to ride my new K1200RS while up in Colorado. I told him fine just do not go crazy on it. He proceeded to pop a wheelie and took it up to 125 miles an hour. Pissed me off. He no longer gets to ride any of my new bikes, or ANY of my bikes. How did I know he was going that fast, because I chased his ass and caught up to him and jumped all over his butt.... He just laughed.

A couple years ago, I met a friend of mine at a restaurant late at night. She had parked toward the back of the lot, so when we were leaving, I walked her to her car and she drove me up to my bike. We're sitting in her car talking for a few minutes and a couple comes walking by. They stop for a second then the guy (looks to be mid to late 40's) walks over to my bike, standing next to the bike, gets into a position like he's riding (hands on "air handlebars" and pretending to rev the throttle with his right hand). I'm still in the car, looking at him like WTF is wrong with this guy. Then he looks like he's about to get on it. I step out of her car and ask if he needs some help. He mumbled something unintelligible and walked on to the restaurant. My lady friend said she thought I was going to kick his ass.

Thats just rude, makes it even ruder when its your friend doing it. Friends should know not to screw with your property. I'd say its grounds for an asskicking (verbal).

Why did someone trying to start it blow a fuse..?..thats what I would be worried about..

that is a great story.........not that i am a violent person (at least not anymore.......too much work and it hurts more now). that kind of person (the guy on the bike) does that because they have gotten away with that crap their whole lives and no one has called them out on it. the kid was probably a little "over reactive" ..........but..........ole bike sitter has probably not sat on another one he didn't buy.

Fortunately, I don't have any of "those" friends. If I did, they wouldn't be my friend much longer. Jokes are acceptable, but someone who fucks with my stuff when they have no idea what they're doing is not someone I want to spend much time with.

I'm really having a tough time figuring out what the OP's "friend" was doing. Did he think you didn't realize the bike wasn't running? You were standing right there. Why not ask you before just hopping on and cranking it over? I'm baffled.

The only time that happened with a bike was my wifes younger brother.I just pulled into the house and he was at the bottom of my yard trying to kick it over..It was a good thing he was to stupid to figure out how to started..I didn't say crap to him because it was about as useless as talkingt a wall.