Triumph Tiger 800

Odd....that used to be my reaction in church, too.

Scoop!

Hot off the press!

I got this straight from the Triumph Adventure web site so it's true!

The Tiger 800's will have Triumph branded accessories available, 50 different ones in all. Accessories will include such things as... (wait for it)....


Hand guards
Heated grips
Touring screens
Luggage
Engine protection
.
.
.
and rugged off road styled clothing

This news just stunned me I hope that you were all sitting down when you read this message.

I am so glad that you have the tiger in your life. Even as an ethereal idea it has the power to heal.

Well now gennelmens, the business of sentient - or near sentient - wheeled entities has been explored in some detail by Mr Iain M Banks in his book "Against a Dark Background". The beast has only one wheel but many and varied are its tricks. In all honesty, the seamless "sliding" of capability and response of said beast is why I will be crisply cryo-packed until this model is released.

ok.

I just watched the new video on the Triumph website for the first time and the script actually included the term "hard core" accessories.

just sayin'

A unicorn with wings would be an Alicorn, according to the folks in the mythology, legends and glitter department here at Yo-Yo Dyne Corp. Definitely no relation to The Tiger.

I think some of you guys are wearing your Gandalf costume a bit too tight.

I reject your reality and substitute my own...

If only I had a gandalf costume.... I mean seriously. That would be so cool.

Gandalf would ride a Tiger 800.

Who wouldn't?

On kind of a related subject, what's going to happen to all the other bikes that no one will want once the new Triumph Tiger 800 DS hits the market? Scrap? Halls of shame?

People that hate puppies, that's who.

And I.R.S. auditors.

And most especially, those people.

Yeah, you know who they are.

Is it 'confirmed' to be an 800? I think someone said Gandalf had informed them of that -but I didn't see that on teh triumph site.

(I don't mean to knock The Grey Wizard -he probably does know- he is a brit is he not AND we all know the triumph factory is in middle earth since thier bikes are obviously assembled by wizards with magic...)

By studying current market analysis charts along with historical data from a variety of motorcycle manufacturers, my prediction is this:

1)Triumph will underestimate the demand for this most amazing bike, and will not create enough of a supply to fill it.
2)Initial orders will quickly sell out, and as more and more people have their bikes backordered, other manufacturers will slash their prices, hoping to get customers to cancel orders and buy theirs instead.
3)People are left with two choices: either wait for the greatest bike ever created to be built and delivered, or buy a new fully optioned F800GS for $3000.
4)Those who wait for the Tiger, will eventually be blessed with what is essentially a gift from the gods, while those that choose the quick and easy bike will be plagued by mechanical problems and extreme depression. Some may commit suicide once they see others on the bike they could've had.
5)News outlets will spread horror stories of motorcycles killing people. As more people become frightened of these stories, they quit buying and riding, and convince their fellow riders to do the same.
6)Whole motorcycle divisions of various manufacturers will be forced to shutdown, causing massive layoffs and global economic turmoil.
7)As unemployment and homelessness rise, so does violence. Police forces will be unable to stop it, and martial law will be declared in countries across the world.
8)The Book of Revelations begins.

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria!

You forgot 9.

9) In a feeble and ultimately futile effort to mitigate the sales slide caused by the iTiger a certain European manufacturer of twin cylinder dual sport bikes will start offering their bikes with an iPad duct taped to the tank in an effort to convince people that they are now iCompatible.

The effort will come undone when owners attempt to download the iAdventure plug in and their computer starts laughing at them.

That alone is enough to make me buy one

(obviously Gandalf riding one as well helps)

Between page 9 and 10 in the hardcore catalogue

How would you haul that long-assed staff?