Stupid questions people ask you when stopped

I think you made up that 74.625% number. I'm pretty sure it's 81.75%.

I'm not quick thinking, I simply take my lead from Winston Churchhill. I spend a good portion of my riding time thinking up ways to answer questions. Good ones I remember and use, bad ones get thrown out.

While I sound witty to the people present, it's simply an illusion.

I'm definitely not quick thinking. I also spend a fair fraction of my riding time thinking up ways to answer stupid questions. I discard the bad responses. The good ones I promptly forget also.

I sound like a moron most of the time. It is not an illusion.

I'm 100% sure you're both full of shit.

Brilliant.

I'm the same; witty in my mind until I open my mouth; then I'm usually just downright offensive.






You said it better.

I have frequently been asked questions for which I was at a lose to answer. Over time, and after much contemplation, I finally figured out the appropriate answers to those questions. The problem I have now is, no one ever asks me those questions anymore.

I mostly get "Oh my god! Are you OK? Someone call an ambulance!"

Okay. That was pretty damned funny.

Now that it's winter, I'm getting the same two predictable questions nearly every day:

"You're not riding today... are you?" and/or "Are you stupid?"

I'm also getting a few more general comments, rather than questions. To summarize:

"You're stupid."

"You're crazy."

"You're a complete idiot."

"I think you ate too many paint chips as a kid."

"You need to have a mental health exam."

"I think your awesome devotion to riding every day is just smoking hot." (Always said by an equally smoking hot young lady.)

Okay, I lied about that last one. Smoking hot women don't talk to me.

This morning I'm filling up. Temp around 10 F. Wind around 30. Blowing snow. Guy walks over from his 4x4 pickup says:
"Are you crazy?"
I say the only appropriate thing: "Yes." He laughs and walks back to his truck.

That, and "DON'T MOVE HIS HEAD!"

People are living on Lookout Mountain now?

I used to ride in that sort of weather, but gee, I just grew tired of it. Good you are keeping up the spirit.

I know how you feel, I went for a ride yesterday and couple times I wished I had put my lining in my jacket. It must have been in the 60s down in the valleys. Brrr!

Chad

Turns out the winds were gusting to over 50 mph. I thought it was darned windy!

On my KLR:

"What is that, some kind of big dirt bike?"

(Actually had a guy at work tell me this) "Hey, something is up with your bike, sounds like it's only running on one cylinder."

But my all time favorite was years ago, on my little Ex500. Decked out in full gear, with my long wavy hair tied up and reaching almost to the seat, a carload of little douchebags in an Integra roll up next to me and the driver rolls down his window and says "hey babe, nice bike". To which I flip the front of my modular helmet up, showing my bearded craggy and very un-female face and say "Thanks!"

That reminds me of one from last summer:

It's about 110 F outside, and I pull into a parking spot wearing full ATGATT, all black.

Woman getting out of an air conditioned car: "Aren't you hot?"
Me taking off my helmet: "Thanks. You're not so bad yourself."

Got a little laugh out of her. Thank goodness that's all it got out of her, or my wife would have killed me.

Ah, missed opportunities....