Stupid questions people ask you when stopped

I believe we're all used with being asked how fast is the bike and how many mpg does it get. But have you ever been asked something that simply blew your mind?

I'll start with mine. The advantage of riding in remote places of an almost non-biking country.

- "Sir, is that a real BMW or it's just the badge?" (people here are used with chinese replicas, therefore the question is almost a legitimate one; asked 3 times already, waiting for more)
- "Duuuuude, does your bike has two engines?!" (asked a number of times, I usually try to explain the boxer design, but if all fails I tell them the right one is the turbocharger)
- "Since when does BMW make motorcycles?" (coming from a tuned BMW 3 series owner)
- "Yeah, a BMW is a BMW!" (especially the seniors tell me this as in the communist era the guy on a BMW motorcycle was the real cream of the crop)

izzat cher chain layin' back there?


'zat hurt?


Kin I git that of'en ya?


'at's gonna leave a mark.

"Is that <i>your</i> motorcycle?" "Did you ride that here all by yourself?"

And other iterations of the same. Oy, people. :huh

The walk up and start chatting about irrelevant stuff...I hate that anytime, but it only seems to happen when you're busy with something, like trying to figure out why it won't start, or your cell phone is ringing. It's as if they're looking for an opportunity to interrupt.

You guys need to get over yourselves...
I often get approached by people, and yeah, normally they open with kinda' dumb or redundant questions. BUT, I have heard some really cool motorcycling stories from old timers, learned about new places to ride (on and off road), been invited to go riding (going on a group ride in two weeks), rode a couple or really nice looking gals around the block on separate occasions (one of which calls me occasionally for another ride), found a couple of really good deals on "barn bikes", gotten job offers, etc...
Sometimes the people I meet aren't worth fooling with, but for the most part I get a big kick out of the gas station conversations. I like reading their faces too, the young guy drooling over my dirty bike or the old man who, in his mind, gets sent back many years to his days riding his BSA through the fields (and all the hell raising of his youth!). It's all cool, I'll talk to everyone of 'em.

" How fast will it go? "

i'm with you. i think its great when people approach me. i don't mind it at all.

from young kids/teens

punk: "can I ride it?!"
me: ..... (visor down, pretending not to hear)
punk: "hey yo...YO!!...YO!!! can I ride it?!"
me: what?! (thoroughly annoyed now)
punk: "can I ride it?!"
me: (slow and scornful headshake signaling the answer is NO)
punk: "come awwwwn, my brother lets me ride his bike!"
me: go ride it then...

meanwhile my seat is 37" high so most of these brats couldn't even mount the bike with one foot down let alone ride it...the begging just annoys me

...Yeah, that happened to me just last week. I stopped at an intersection and a teenager walked up to me and said, "Can I take it around the block?"

My response." What?? No way."

His response, "Hey, I'm not playin"

I just laughed and rode off. People are insane.

"Why do you have a camera on your helmet?" from the car in the next lane at a red light.

Light turned green, so I shrugged, said, "Why not?" and left them behind. Stupid answer on my part, but the priority was the green light not a witty answer.

My brother, who does own a BMW car too, will pull that line the other way - "I didn't know BMW made cars! When did they start that?"

"Hey man, you got any spare change?"





"When you gonna get a REAL bike? Haw haw haw haw." (Three guesses what sort of turdwagons these guys are riding.)

Actually, I've been asked that question a couple of different times by dudes driving a pickup with a Hardley-Ableson sticker and/or license plate on it. That's right. They're real bikers who ride REAL bikes. Except when it's below 75 degrees or above 80 degrees or raining or it looks like it might rain or there's a cloud off in the distance or their assless chaps are a little squeaky or it might get dark at night or a bug smudged the chrome last time they rode or they're hung over or there might be stinky dead animals in the road or there are other vehicles on the road.

Most common: "I didn't know BMW made bikes."

Next most common: "Can you do a wheelie on it??"


I have one guy in my neighborhood who every time I ride past him does a wheelie motion with his hands like he wants me to wheelie the bike. Once he was walking his dog past my house as I pulled up so he asked me, "How come you never do a wheelie for me dude??" I pulled the 12 pack of Sierra Nevada out of the top case and said, "I don't want to break my beers dude!!"

Two incidents that come to mind with regard to non-riders asking questions or commenting on the bike have to do with the mechanics of my old F650GS. As I pulled up to a stop one day I noticed a long metal pole just to the left of the bike so I kicked it out of the road so nobody else would find it the hard way. The bus driver next to me slid open her window and said "Sir! Sir! I think your kickstand just fell off." I thanked her for her concern and explained it was just a metal rod in the road. Another time a gentleman approached me at a gas station to show me something was falling off my bike. It was just the Scott Oiler dispenser reaching down towards the chain at the rear sprocket. I explained to him what it was and he was intrigued that such a thing existed.

As silly as the questions/comments may seem, in these cases, I'd much rather people ask me about potential problems with the bike than to say nothing when they see my wheel falling off!

Back in 1987 when I rode my BICYCLE from NYC to Seattle during a high school summer break..

Arrive at the YMCA in Seattle and get asked by a kid hanging out on the steps...

"Was it all downhill?"

"Are you a fireman?"

Ahhhh, the perils of commuting in a red 'stitch.

The "How fast will it go?" question is my trigger that the questioner has no earthly idea how to ride a bike.

I was riding my GSXR in town (Aspen) one afternoon when this local homeless guys walking down the sidewalk yells "Ya shoulda bought a harley"
My instant response was "Why so I could be walking like you?"
As for those who want to ride it. I tell em "Sure. You go get me $15,000 cash to hold while you ride it. When you get vback I will hand you back whatever I think you didnt use up"

Last Saturday evening I stopped at a Steak & Shake Restaurant for dinner during my 600 mile one-day trek. After eating at the counter I stepped back to use the restroom. I had already put my Darian hi-viz jacket back on. As I passed a couple sitting in a booth I got the fireman question. The best part was when I went back to pay for my chili and drink, I found they did not even charge me because they (the people behind the counter) thought too that I was a fireman who had just came from a fire.

To add to the story, when I sat down at the counter I was immediately ask what I wanted. I ordered, then the guy went over to the cash register to take another patron's money. Then, the guy who is flipping the burgers turns around and asks me if I ordered a burger. I told him I ordered chili and a coke. He leaves the grill unattended, with about 10 - 12 burgers going, and comes back in like 30 seconds with a bowl of chili, overflowing the bowl, dripping onto the crackers and the saucer. Then a gal brings me a coke.
I've never seen the burger flipper do that before!

So when I got up to the cash register I told the manager who was now manning the register that I did not have a ticket yet, but wanted to pay. She said it was on the house. I ask her if that was because I looked like a fireman and she said yes. So I told her I was not a fireman but this is my riding suit. She laughed, then typed in what I ate and took my money. Maybe I should of kept my mouth shut. I think I'll look for a firetruck siren to put on the bike.

Questions from riders and non riders

Person "What kinda bike is that?
Me... Caponord
Person "a what?"
Me ..An Aprilia...its Italian
Person ...Ah ok...(still confused)

ADV riders
"Oh man a Caponord!... always wanted to see one" Do you Like it?"

Dirt bike riders

"Man you take that thing off road"

LEO
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Its all good...except the LEO part

the question i hate the most is when your standing there takeing your gear off and someone says is that your bike? "no i walk round with a helmet on hopeing i find a bike with the keys in it" idiots

i am a fireman and i will usually cover up my uniform shirt before going into somewhere as i find it embarrasing when people do this
i get payed to fight fires it is my job (a job that i love) but they dont give a street sweeper a free feed. his job is just as important