Aviation MegaThread!!!!

You could have made up a better story than that!

"...there I was...one a'turnin', and one a'burnin'...

I've been in the back of a C-130 with the assholes up front putting us through some manouvres like that...half the guys in the back blew chunks. The smell was the 10th level of hell disgusting...

Open the cargo door?

Ah.


http://www.theaviationzone.com/factsheets/c130.asp

The loadies wouldn't do that...they were enjoying our misery too much.

Loadies can be like that.

However, they did open the big door on the few occasions I was aboard a C130 in the tropics. They also allowed me to sleep on the cargo (a netted pallet of packs and webbing belonging to the grunts on said flight). Some years later I learnt that they allowed this as the results are really funny if we go through turbulence. If a loadie is nice to you, theres a reason for it.

Had to re-cut. Here is the new one:

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Lies! All lies! We would never laugh at the expense of others! Slander!

Yeah, okay, we totally do that kind of stuff.

Being in the back of a C-141 with about a hundred paratroops, the temp around 90 degrees, hammering along at about 500 feet off the deck during a low-level penetration into the DZ...

We had a local news crew on board doing some local interest bit, and prior to loading them up they were doing interviews with the jumpers and crew, and this one jumpmaster was really hamming it up. Everytime the camera was on him he was all "Airborne all the way!" and "Ooo-rah, Airborne!" and so forth.

So we take off and it is just miserable in the back. Hot, bouncing all over, sweating like a hog. After about ten minutes one guy blows chunks and it's a chain reaction...one after the other. It's the smell that really does you in. There was a reason we called the Starlifter the "Tube of Pain".

So the puke is just flying. Troops are puking, the news crew is puking, including the cute little reporter. But worst case of all, was the jumpmaster that had been hamming it up. He is layed over sideways on the troop seat, puking into his helmet. I mean, gut-wrenching, dry-heaving, ohmyGodkillme now, hurling.

I'm getting pretty queasy myself at this point and reaching for a puke bag when I hear "Hey! Hey!". I look over and there is Cooter, the other load, standing by the right troop door, hanging on the door frame with one hand as he casually eats a chicken leg from his flight lunch, a big-ass smile on his face. "Hey, reporter girl!...why don't you film that bad-ass jumpmaster now?!" he says, gesturing with the half-eaten leg.

Well, she takes one look at that and redoubles her efforts to empty the contents of her stomach. I thought she was gonna pass out.

Mercifully, we finally make our run into the DZ, pop up to about 1000 ft, stand 'em up, hook 'em up, count 'em up... we have the doors open and the deflectors out, sweet fresh air cooling me off as I stick my head out the door to see what I can see, which helped keep me from hurling myself. I step back as the other jumpmasters do their thing..the other one is still sideways, twitching and shaking and feebly dry-heaving. He's useless.

One minute warning, red light is on.......green light! Out they go, bam-bam-bam. I've never seen troops that wanted to un-ass the plane so bad. We recover the d-bags, shut the doors, and now it's an easy flight back to land. The poor jumpmaster is now a sodden mass of sweat and puke.

Cooter walks over and squats down, looks the guy in the face and in all seriousness says "You know why you threw up?". The guy manages a gasping "No" and Cooter says "Cause you had a belly full of puke!!" The guy just groans and rolls over to dry-heave into his helmet some more.

They ended up carrying him off the plane on a stretcher, along with the cute little reporter.

The crew chief with us just took one look at the now puke covered floor of his jet, shook his head and called out the fire department to come hose it out.

"You know why you threw up?". The guy manages a gasping "No" and Cooter says "Cause you had a belly full of puke!!"

That was a great story Heyload!

Feel free to write up more.

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Bf 109 pilot Franz Stigler and B-17 pilot Charlie Brown's first meeting

Thanks for posting. Great story.

Heyload... I'm glad someone enjoyed our one way rides in 141's...

Never puked... but turned an inhuman shade of green... was glad to finally be out in the fresh air.

NFE

+1, Great great story.

Both the b17 story and the pukin story were GREAT!!!!!



Thanks for sharing!

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^^ That locked up my computer pretty tight.

Ruining the sound of beautiful War Birds with someones idea of crap music.