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Old 05-14-2012, 01:36 PM   #1
malignity OP
The Hurt Locker
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Sanford, MI
Oddometer: 409
Your favorite near-face plant story?

I'm sure everyone's got one.. I've got two that I'm fond of. Both were while riding my 1981 Yamaha YZ250H.

One was when I was going down a steep sand hill in 3rd gear. I somehow got lucky and had a sand hornet fly in my helmet between my goggles and chin guard. Unable to stop because of the sand, I tried smacking the creature from the outside of my helmet as it flew around and became even more pissed. Needless to say, the bugger bit me in the ear and drew blood, then proceeded to immediately crawl down my neck and sink it's stinger into my neck before I tore it in half with a massive flick. I ended up going off the trail and half-way up the berm in the process and almost hit a tree.

My other favorite was flying around a trail corner in 3rd as well (I love 3rd lol) and I approached what appeared to be a fairly good sized rock, probably about 16 inches in diameter. I stood on the pegs, preparing to get some sick air. Well, being that it was a rock that was clearly in the ground, I expected to hit a stationary object. What I hit ended up moving with me, and though my front tire barely cleared, it caused my rear tire to pop up extremely high unexpectedly and nearly threw me over the handlebars. I slammed on my brakes and regained my composure after the family jewels braced my fall on the gas tank only to see the rock that I hit slowly stroll out of the trail. I had hit a turtle!

I checked him out and he didn't have any cracks in his shell, so I think I must have just spooked him.

Alright guys, your turn!

'10 Yamaha WR250R , '93 Yamaha TW200, '03 Honda Foreman 450ES 4x4, '96 Yamaha Big Bear 350 4x4.
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:44 PM   #2
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Joined: Oct 2005
Oddometer: 86

I was riding a Honda NightHawk'83 down the interstate at about 7pm, when my ignition became loose - with a logging truck behind me.

All my lights (and engine) went off I was coasting in front of this semi who was already tailgating me, he saw me at the last moment and swerved, when my lights came back on I was in front of his rear axles and behind his tractor. I was riding next to the pipe that connected the rear of his (empty) trailer

I try to pull onto the shoulder and the lights and engine go off again.

I come to a stop - get out my flashlight, and realize I'm about a foot from the tree-line.

Needless to say I spent the night on the side of the road, no way was I gonna try riding it back that night.
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Old 05-23-2012, 09:16 AM   #3
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Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Oakland, CA
Oddometer: 1,689
THis was a little under 20 years ago... My friend and I were sitting at a stop light, waiting to turn left.

The turn arrow went green, and we started to roll through the intersection.

I don't know if I heard or saw the car first, but I can tell you that it was a faded yellow 73 1/2 Camaro RS (the one with the split front bumper) and it was flying, probably doing 80 in a 35 zone. I slammed on the front brakes, and my friend went a little past me, but stopped. The Camaro went past my front wheel with about 4 feet to spare, and my friends with about 2 feet. The driver not only never slowed down, but floored it to get through the light.

It's cliche, but I still get chills thinking about how bad that could have turned out. I still scan deep into crossing traffic for motion.
When they say Harleys are for 1%ers, I don't think they mean guys who sell crank and get in bar fights any more.
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Old 05-23-2012, 10:51 AM   #4
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Rockville, MD
Oddometer: 76

Mine was a classic case of "different bikes do different things". Back in 2007 I had spent a year riding a HD StreetGlide. It was not without its issues, and finally, not being able to stand it any longer, I decided that it was time to see what was available in the used market. I found a cherry ZRX1200. I bought it. Ran like a top, a raped ape, and just worked. Still had the HD, but pretty much resigned to not riding it until it ran correctly.

I knew enough to be respectful of the power difference, and things were going fine. Fast forward to a gorgeous Friday Evening. I take a local loop that is not really technical, and I have ridden many times. Things were great! The bike was happy, I was happy, good stuff.

There is a certain point in this loop that features a really nice exit from the GW Parkway onto the Key Bridge. This is a bridge that takes you from Virginia into the District of Columbia. I had my sensors up, after all, its Friday night, right? Banked into the approach, I make it off the on-ramp, and onto the bridge. All of the sudden? HID Headlights, and some very expensive car looks as if it is going to eat me. I grabbed a handful with my right hand, and you guessed it. SKYWARD. Still a little cranked over on the right. Ok, I am out of the way, but on one wheel. I was less than graceful with the return of the front wheel to the tarmac. Two wheels on the road now, but I got a combo of pogo and slappy going on. On a bike I have owned for a WEEK. Nothing other than "lucky old fart" karma saved me. Somehow, I got the bike slowed down without killing myself. I made it out of the District into MD. I think I forgot to breathe for about 5 minutes. I decided to pull into a gas station. After sitting for a minute, I notice a guy walking over to me. Apparently he saw the whole thing. With a smile, he handed me a lottery ticket. His only comment? "Tonight's yer night, dude!" I can only imagine what went through his head. "Hey that guy on the green bike is gonna get squished....hey, green bike guy is gonna live... well... maybe not... bounce 1, bounce 2, slow it down, slow it down, bounce 3, bounce 4, dude, this guy is gonna drop this rig into oncoming traffic... no, hey, dude made it.... I think... still up, still up... Wow, look at his legs shaking.. if that dudes head doesn't explode, he MIGHT live...

5 years later, and every time I cross that bridge, I think of that night and the abject terror which it caused. Still have the ZRX and still love it. Gave up on the HD, and found out through the grapevine that not too long after I cashed the check on it? Wadded into oblivion.

I really am thankful for being lucky that night. In the 5 years since? Done a little riding, had a lot of fun! I learned a lesson cheaply. Scared myself straight, as it were...
Primitive and Useless, Archive from another time.
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Old 05-23-2012, 11:14 AM   #5
Joined: Apr 2012
Location: Mount Clemens, MI
Oddometer: 315
I don't mean to laugh at your "almost misfortune"..... but that was funny. Glad you made it out in one piece.
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Old 05-23-2012, 11:36 AM   #6
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Joined: Nov 2008
Location: Salinas, Santa Elena, Ecuador
Oddometer: 916
I was racing a national hare and hound about ten years ago and was in fifth gear through some big whoops paralleling a big wash. Man was I flying, rythem just perfect, doubling whoops, tripling whoops, riding through a dozen at a time without putting down the front tire. Came up on big one as the trail had either curved or the wash had turned and caught a couple feet of air. No big deal,except the wash dropped out about six feet. No big deal, I'll land on the down slope where it drops out another ten feet, nope. I landed about two thirds of the way across the wash, about 75' from the top, on flat ground. Both feet came off the pegs, I'm laying on the seat still moving pretty good and when I can look up there is a palo verde tree, really spiny, twenty feet in front of me. I "layed her down" lol, slid right up to the base of that tree sideways and when I hit the sand banked up around it the bike stood up, I had pulled the clutch at some point so it's still running, I dropped it down to second gear and rode on the side of the race course for a few minutes before going on to finish and then have few extra post race beers!
Team Mojados Spearfishing
Originally Posted by OnandOff
I'd rather be riding a 200 in Ecuador than any dream bike here.
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Old 05-23-2012, 03:41 PM   #7
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Joined: Apr 2010
Location: Denver
Oddometer: 1,292
I had my first helmet cam back in 2007, so luckily I got this on video. I had an SXV 450, and I just got used to flogging it everywhere. So in this video, I come cruising up to this stop sign intending to turn right. I pull of fast, don't even put my feet down, then turn right and take off pretty aggressively. I hardley get started when the back tire breaks loose and I spin 180 degrees to a stop. I was dissoriented as F, and look up and I'm facing the turn I just left. I have no clue how I didn't high side. Chalk this one up to cold tires and a tool twisting the throttle.

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Old 05-23-2012, 06:03 PM   #8
Joined: Apr 2012
Oddometer: 24
Originally Posted by rtadlock View Post
I had my first helmet cam back in 2007, so luckily I got this on video. I had an SXV 450, and I just got used to flogging it everywhere. So in this video, I come cruising up to this stop sign intending to turn right. I pull of fast, don't even put my feet down, then turn right and take off pretty aggressively. I hardley get started when the back tire breaks loose and I spin 180 degrees to a stop. I was dissoriented as F, and look up and I'm facing the turn I just left. I have no clue how I didn't high side. Chalk this one up to cold tires and a tool twisting the throttle.

I saw a big dark spot on the road you pulled out on and spun on, right on the seam of where the stop sign is. Shadow? Oil? Water? Cool video though!
1990 Kawasaki KX 250
1982 Honda XL250R
2004 Yamaha PW80 (son's bike but I ride it "for safety checks")

Used to ride - 2001 Honda VLX
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Old 05-24-2012, 02:05 PM   #9
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Joined: Oct 2010
Location: Souf Carolina
Oddometer: 354
Riding my DR650 last summer I hit a patch of gravel on a y-intersection with a seam and a pretty quick rise in elevation. There was some gravel in that seam and as the (sucky) suspension thumped into it the rear tire washed out and the thing damn near threw me. I layed out over the bike and got my feet on off the pegs to steady her out, and it worked. Just instinct I guess, I hadn't been riding long enough to know what to do.
Let me not then die ingloriously and without a struggle, but let me first do some great thing that shall be told among men hereafter. ~Homer
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:51 PM   #10
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Joined: Jun 2011
Location: The rotten apple.
Oddometer: 231
Riding some twisty roads coming from Four Quarters in PA on a fully loaded V-Strom and sped up into a curve. Turned out the curve was blind-er than I thought and abruptly ended in a T. Hit the brakes hard only to realize that there's a massive pile of gravel in the road. Let go of the front, fishtailed through the intersection into someone's backyard and somehow held it together as I managed to bring it to a sloppy stop. Super lucky that there wasn't a pick-up coming through just then.

Mazaev screwed with this post 05-25-2012 at 08:57 PM
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Old 05-25-2012, 09:42 PM   #11
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Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Dallas, TX
Oddometer: 404
First couple of hours on a dirt bike ever, I'm heading back down Potash road in Moab to get back to our trucks. I was on a rented WR250 which had a little digital speedo. I get to a straight bit along the potash evap pools and really wick it up to an indicated 40mph, which sure felt faster but I thought that was just the effect of being offroad amplifying speed. I came over a slight rise to see a sharp 90 degree corner right in front of me. There is a 5 or so foot drop off the edge of the road to the desert floor. I panic, stomp on the rear brake, lock the back tire and drift the bike with a locked tire around the corner inches from the edge. Other than my heart beating a lot faster than it was before, I made it out unscathed. I made such a deep trough in the dirt road with my locked tire, my dad, who came down the road about a mile behind the rest of our group asked us who made that huge skid mark at the corner.

Turns out that the speedo on the WR was a bit pessimistic. I reset the trip odo on a ride I knew was 30 miles, and it showed I had done 16.5 miles, which means I went into that corner at 70-75mph.
2012 Yamaha Super Tenere, 1997 Honda XR650L, 1985 Honda XR350R, 1976 Honda GL1000 Goldwing
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Old 06-06-2012, 05:29 AM   #12
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Prince George, BC Canada
Oddometer: 1,017
I don't know if this qualifies but it just happened last weekend.

Out riding my new-to-me 08 DR 650. Nice sunny day with not a lot of traffic in town as I roll down main street. I'm headed up to an intersection at a good clip and I notice a Chevy Astrovan rolling up to the stop sign. He's looking right at me as he blows through that stop sign and turns right in front of me. Now I'm doing about 50-55 kph and he's approx 15 feet in front of me beginning to accelerate. I grab a handful of brake but there is another car right on my ass. So...forget the brakes. I roll on the throttle and pass that stupid Astrovan like its standing still, blaring that little tiny DR 650 horn all the way.

Man...people suck sometimes.....
2015 DR 650
We can handle it....We're Canadian
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Old 06-06-2012, 05:50 AM   #13
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Portsmouth, Virginia
Oddometer: 50
Ten years back, on a Sportster, I was riding along a road that passed in front of a Walmart. An old codger was waiting to make a left out of the parking lot. Looked- didn't see me- and pulled on out. Would have been fine if he kept on going, but he looked left again- saw me coming- and stopped dead in my path, blocking the entire lane. I got hard on the brakes, but knew I couldn't stop in time, so at the last second I did a hard maneuver around his rear, just inches from his bumper and the curb.
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Old 06-14-2012, 12:01 AM   #14
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Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Littleton, CO
Oddometer: 2,908
My first bike, an RT 360 many years ago, following my buddy's car with bad tail lights at night. He stopped to talk to some kids in the road, I didn't know it, and had to go around his car to the right. There was a big mailbox there, so had to fit between the car and the mailbox. Tore my jeans on his bumper, tore my jacket on the mailbox.
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Old 06-15-2012, 04:49 AM   #15
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Joined: Nov 2010
Location: :o)
Oddometer: 3,815
That is a good campfire-story thread!
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