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Old 10-15-2012, 08:16 AM   #16
Offcamber
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimVonBaden View Post
IMHO ANY relationship in which the husband and wife are that far apart in ideals, is doomed to fail. Think staunch Republican married to an extreme Liberal.

Jim

This is me....and we just had my 22nd wedding anniversary....yup we argue over politics, some of them get a bit heated....still love her....even if she is wrong

I don't know if I would call her an extreme liberal but she is definitely drinking Cool Aid.

As for the ops question....its been said it comes down to priorities....sometimes keeping the one you love happy requires some sacrifices....Mine hates guns (She has good reasons I respect) but I got a locker full....
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Old 10-15-2012, 08:33 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by JimVonBaden View Post
... On the other hand, many just use that as an excuse to not do something that scares them a bit too much. Basically they are actually afraid, but do not want to show it in front of their men friends. ...
This. In my experience, this is about 90% of it.

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I've wondered about this same question before. Not necessarily just regarding motorcycles, but in general. I have friends that cant do much of anything because it'll upset their wife or gf. I dont think I've ever heard a woman (that's not in an abusive relationship) say that they cant do something because it'll upset their husband or bf.
No, women do this all the time, and for much the same reason. It's an excuse to not do it. A very common example is when a woman is shopping and is deciding against something she is looking at. She doesn't want to seem "rude" and say she doesn't like it or doesn't want it, so she says "I love it, but my husband would kill me", or some variation of that.

I was fortunate to find one who shares my general political/philosophical outlook (which, as any who know me can attest, is going to be a very rare thing to find). And she supports my hobbies and interests, and I support hers.

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Old 10-15-2012, 08:43 AM   #18
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Is it for financial reasons or b/c the wife doesn't think it's safe? Maybe it's difficult to justify the extra debt if they're already 10's of thousands in debt because of a new truck & boat. Possibly, the wife doesn't want her husband looking like what she perceives as a d-bag on a bike, and the husband is a little whipped. Also possible is that said husband is barely capable of balancing a bicycle, so therefore shouldn't be on a motorcycle. I guess they just won't be a cool as us real motorcyclists who throw caution to the wind (note: sarcasm). Honestly, if you don't take into consideration your spouse's thoughts, marriage may not be the best choice. BTW, at this very moment, my wife is pregnant & barefoot in the kitchen baking me a pie

I agree with JVB; that more often than not, men use their wives as a scapegoat.
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Old 10-15-2012, 08:58 AM   #19
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I think many men just choose to avoid conflict. The source of the conflict isn't relevant.
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Old 10-15-2012, 08:59 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by betasigscoot View Post
....... Also possible is that said husband is barely capable of balancing a bicycle, so therefore shouldn't be on a motorcycle.......
This reminded me of the only time I remember ever telling my ex wife no to something she wanted to do. She enjoyed riding on my bike with me. Then one day we were out and had stopped for lunch some place and a couple pulls in, each on their own bikes. She starts talking with the lady and decides she wants her own bike. I flat out told her no, and told her why I was against it. She was a terrible driver in her car. Never payed attention to her surroundings. No way in the world was I going to put her on a motorcycle. She's a great lady and a lot of fun. Good at a lot of things, but driving wasn't one of them. She'd have been another statistic within a few hundred miles.
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Old 10-15-2012, 08:59 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by Disco Stu View Post
I ride everywhere I go. In hi-viz clown outfits. So I get lots of people telling me that they've always wanted a motorcycle 'but the wife won't allow it.' I'm not sure if so many men are really this pussified that they can't do what they want to do, or if they are just making excuses.

what do you do when guys say this to you? commiserate with them? tell them to grow a pair of balls and take charge of their lives? tell them to divorce the domineering beotch and enjoy the rest of their lives?
I blame skinny jeans constricting blood flow to the testes.
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:11 AM   #22
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I blame skinny jeans constricting blood flow to the testes.
I refuse to talk to any man wearing skinny jeans.
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:22 AM   #23
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I hear this a lot, how he was into riding, before the wife and kid's came along, lot of times he gets the ultimatum, it's me or the bike. In few instances, he would have been better off hopping on his ride and heading for the hill's. I've got some mate's, whose relationship's are a bit 'ragged' because of this issue, but they all still have their bike's. I've always told my girlfriend's that motorcycles and skiing, go where i go, if it doesn't suit them, we'll stop right there. It has worked fine so far. You just have to put your foot down mate
Hope she doesn' see this
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:27 AM   #24
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A man who says "my wife won't let me" doesn't really want to ride.

People, by and large, do what they want to do.
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:32 AM   #25
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The failure of fathers. Men don't understand how to be men and thus can't teach their sons. The rise of feminism and the portrayal of weak, bumbling men in the media don't help, but IMHO it all boils down to lack of good fathers.

EDIT: Oh, and as human ills said in the post above, people do what they want to do. But that's a different discussion than why the modern American man is weak.
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:32 AM   #26
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I believe this is a matter of priorities and the changes that people go through in their lives.

For me, when I was much younger, I had a bike until I married and we had our first child. We were both working, but there wasn't enough money for baby food, diapers, and misc expenses that were added to the normal house hold living expenses. It became a budget issue: make the bike payment or buy diapers, etc. The decision was easy for me, because my marriage was a union of values, ideals, and principles. We agreed to start a family and jointly accept the responsibilities and expenses that came along with that decision. The bike had to go and I was ok with that decision.

After the kids were grown and the the expenses have settled down, we agreed that it was time to get another bike, and set a date when it would be acceptable (down payment saved, monthly bills under control, etc) and the shopping would begin. Turns out, neither one of us could wait that long, and I ended up buying a new bike almost a year early. Since that time, I have changed bikes three times, and this last time, she suggested that I buy another bike to replace the one that I had sold a few weeks earlier. Even the kids, now living on their own, couldn't believe that I'd been without a bike for so long. Everyone recognized how much I like to ride and knew it was a priority to me. So, I ride...

Then, I accepted the restriction and would have blamed my wife or my crappy job as not allowing me to afford a bike. It was easier to explain the restriction that way than try to explain my choice as a decision that I'd made with regard to priorities.

But that's just me...
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:58 AM   #27
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I'm not really sure that is emasculation - plenty of women I know do whatever the hell they want to do and it doesn't make them masculine.


I think "wife won't let me" is a great excuse - that's what I say to dealers when i'm ready to leave and I want them to turn off the hard sell.
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Old 10-15-2012, 10:39 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ph0rk View Post
I'm not really sure that is emasculation - plenty of women I know do whatever the hell they want to do and it doesn't make them masculine.


I think "wife won't let me" is a great excuse - that's what I say to dealers when i'm ready to leave and I want them to turn off the hard sell.
I gotta remember that one when I'm out kicking tires. That's an awesome way to get out of the dealership without going thru the hassle,

I make wimmens I'm serious about a deal. I'm not going to run around on em with any other wimmens but my bikes (pedal and moto). They were here first... So far its worked.

Riding (moto and pedal) is 'part of who I am.' The pedal part makes me a much nicer person to be around. The moto makes me and keeps the wanderlust down.

M
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Old 10-15-2012, 10:41 AM   #29
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Call me Sally..

Could be she is right. Riding is dangerous. ya' know.. "it's not if you go down it's when"... etc.
May be she didn't sign on to be an early widow, or for her kids to have to visit their dad in the hospital.
It may have nothing to do with turning in your Man-card, but more with respect to your partners opinion and the fact that she may know you better then you think.
I am of the age now where I can almost keep to the speed limit, but there was a time when the throttle might as well have been an on/off switch..Needless to say I ride a whole lot more now.
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Old 10-15-2012, 10:45 AM   #30
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it's not due to being emasculated.it's about your priorities and the balance in your life.
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