Why are most men so emasculated?

[alii1959]

First off, make damn sure you marry the right woman. After 32 years of marriage I can honestly say neither of us have ever laid down an ultimatum. However...

I am fascinated by men who would choose a machine over the mother of his children. That sounds like a whiny teenager to me...someone who wants their way regardless of the consequences. I cannot imagine acting in such a fashion. My priorities do not include machines.

Every "real man" I have every known...those who attempt to dictate how life goes....all seem to be divorced, single, basically alone. Me I want to be in my wife's bed every night!!! Therefore I take special precautions to keep her happy.

I cannot imagine marrying someone who would try to tell me how to live my life or what kind of activities I should be involved in. I feel sorry for those who have made such a poor choice. But, you did make a vow. Men don't break vows!

[Tepi]

"keep her happy" ... What about keeping yourself happy or her keeping you happy. Door swings both ways. I'm not going to be very happy when someone deals out threats "me or your hobby", especially when that hobby means alot to me.

[Ginger Beard]

Originally Posted by alii1959

I am fascinated by men who would choose a machine over the mother of his children. That sounds like a whiny teenager to me...someone who wants their way regardless of the consequences. I cannot imagine acting in such a fashion. My priorities do not include machines. .

I cannot imagine marrying someone who would try to tell me how to live my life or what kind of activities I should be involved in. I feel sorry for those who have made such a poor choice. But, you did make a vow. Men don't break vows!

The first part of your post seems to describe a person that would set such a repugnant ultimatum, not the person that refuses to submit to it. In an instance like this it would be the ultimatum maker that is guilty of vow breakage. It is their choice to either persue or end the relationship. I would happily let them go if they want to be so controlling and petty.

[eddie bolted]

Originally Posted by alii1959

First off, make damn sure you marry the right woman. After 32 years of marriage I can honestly say neither of us have ever laid down an ultimatum. However...

I am fascinated by men who would choose a machine over the mother of his children. That sounds like a whiny teenager to me...someone who wants their way regardless of the consequences. I cannot imagine acting in such a fashion. My priorities do not include machines.

Every "real man" I have every known...those who attempt to dictate how life goes....all seem to be divorced, single, basically alone. Me I want to be in my wife's bed every night!!! Therefore I take special precautions to keep her happy.

I cannot imagine marrying someone who would try to tell me how to live my life or what kind of activities I should be involved in. I feel sorry for those who have made such a poor choice. But, you did make a vow. Men don't break vows!

I love my wife and she would never give me an ultimatum all "I'M" saying is when she bitches about my riding it takes away from the enjoyment of the ride. If i had a F--K her attitude her bitching wouldn't take away from the enjoyment of the ride.

[nskitts]

I haven't read the whole thread but I did read about this in a magazine and it basically said that it's a new American phenomenon; the man as the incompetent accident-prone idiot prop of the American family. The article said to watch any commercial on TV and observe the man's role. He is either screwing something up, getting talked down to, etc.

[Veteran Noob]

I'm sure others have heard this;

A woman marries a man thinking she can change him into what she wants him to be and is pissed when she can't. A man marries a woman expecting she'll never change and is then pissed when she does.

I do not take well to ultimatums or any definitive one sided declarations (i.e. you can't). My wife has learned this the hard way. I am open to compromise when arrived at through thoughtful discussion (although there are some subjects on which I will not compromise).
Any form of "it's either me or (insert point of contention)" is just emotional terrorism (and isn't the sole domain of one gender). I've summarily ended more than a few relationships for this kind of behavior.
My friends still get a laugh talking about a former GF that I dated for about 4 months. She was a great gal and, although I was nowhere near ready to pop the question, she had all the signs of being the one. Due to the logistics of our lives, she had only been to my house maybe three times and had never spent a night there (we were spending at least two nights a week and most weekends at her place). The first night she was going to spend at my house was after a hockey game. After the game she balked upon realizing that I was taking my gear in the house. She was adamant about the gear being left in the garage. I didn't argue the point (mostly just nodded and said "uh huh") and went ahead and, as usual, hung the gear in the basement to dry. Realizing that her protestations were getting her nowhere, she finally declared "I'm not sleeping in this house if that stinky crap can't be left in the garage!", then walked out the front door and stood on the porch, I'm sure expecting me to capitulate. She declined my offer to let her call a cab or a friend for a ride, so I handed her purse to her, shut the door, locked up the house, turned out the lights and went to bed. After about ten minutes she knocked a few times and then gave up.

[Kommando]

Originally Posted by nskitts

I haven't read the whole thread but I did read about this in a magazine and it basically said that it's a new American phenomenon; the man as the incompetent accident-prone idiot prop of the American family. The article said to watch any commercial on TV and observe the man's role. He is either screwing something up, getting talked down to, etc.

Yup. I managed my life just fine, without getting myself killed, before she came along. I don't think I'd have any problem managing without her. Why many people today seem to forget this about their SO, in either role, I have no idea.

[PhilB]

Originally Posted by Veteran Noob

I'm sure others have heard this;

A woman marries a man thinking she can change him into what she wants him to be and is pissed when she can't. A man marries a woman expecting she'll never change and is then pissed when she does.

I do not take well to ultimatums or any definitive one sided declarations (i.e. you can't). My wife has learned this the hard way. I am open to compromise when arrived at through thoughtful discussion (although there are some subjects on which I will not compromise).
Any form of "it's either me or (insert point of contention)" is just emotional terrorism (and isn't the sole domain of one gender). I've summarily ended more than a few relationships for this kind of behavior.
My friends still get a laugh talking about a former GF that I dated for about 4 months. She was a great gal and, although I was nowhere near ready to pop the question, she had all the signs of being the one. Due to the logistics of our lives, she had only been to my house maybe three times and had never spent a night there (we were spending at least two nights a week and most weekends at her place). The first night she was going to spend at my house was after a hockey game. After the game she balked upon realizing that I was taking my gear in the house. She was adamant about the gear being left in the garage. I didn't argue the point (mostly just nodded and said "uh huh") and went ahead and, as usual, hung the gear in the basement to dry. Realizing that her protestations were getting her nowhere, she finally declared "I'm not sleeping in this house if that stinky crap can't be left in the garage!", then walked out the front door and stood on the porch, I'm sure expecting me to capitulate. She declined my offer to let her call a cab or a friend for a ride, so I handed her purse to her, shut the door, locked up the house, turned out the lights and went to bed. After about ten minutes she knocked a few times and then gave up.

Exactly. I had this down by age 6, when my best friend's family went on vacation, and I played with another kid on the block while he was gone. My friend didn't like the other kid, and I wasn't that fond of him either, but he was OK. When my friend got back, he told me I couldn't play with the other kid any more if I wanted to still be his friend. I stood up and went home. I don't do ultimatums, giving or receiving.

PhilB

[Effisland]

Originally Posted by Rob.G

This makes a lot of sense. And the current political state of affairs in the US is a perfect example. We have one side trying to create a culture of dependency, where everybody is reliant upon government, and the other side, that advocates self-sufficiency.

Rob

ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've read all day!

[Effisland]

Originally Posted by dirtrulz

I personally couldnt care less what "legacy" I leave behind. I dont like kids and dont want kids, neither does the wife. So no one will ever carry on my name. I dont care if anyone ever remembers my name when I am gone, it does nothing for me, I will be dead. "you" only live once, might as well have fun with the one life you get. It cant be done over again with someone who wont hold you back next time.

Exactly. Did you know that motorcycle critics will live forever? Same with other health nuts or militant vegetarians who preach about everlasting life...

I love Bill Hicks (RIP)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXFUaqMl3fc

[Tepi]

The article said to watch any commercial on TV and observe the man's role. He is either screwing something up, getting talked down to, etc.

I'm going to say thats right on the spot. Just take a look at moden movies, especially youth movies or Tv series. Guys are complete morons and girls have to constantly bail them out of trouble.

Ever seen the series Chuck, where this guy is drafted to be a secret agent because of his intellectual skill, but he couldnt tie his shoelaces without help, so the hot woman agent has to always save his ass. Atleast thats how it goes in the first season.

Gender roles are completely screwed up, sometimes I think I was born 100 years too late. I still shave with a straight-razor, I build my stuff on my own and planning to build my own house. I work on my bikes and cars. I like guns...

[Frostback]

Hey, don't short change the state of emasculization.

You know those dirt bikes with the padding all the way up on the tank? That protection is not necessary for a nutless rider.

Know that skinny half drunk girl at the bar that is sliding her hand down the front of your 'stitch after a long day offroad? Well, in a nutless world you will both just get a laugh out of it and nothing more.

Remember that wife at home? Have the last laugh and go nutless if you really want to get even with her. (Though it might cost you in double A batteries.)

Can't win at the local track? Go all nutless and take some tips from Lance baby. You too can kick tail in the womens' division!


Once you try the ball-less life you will never go back!

Lee

[alii1959]

Originally Posted by Ginger Beard

The first part of your post seems to describe a person that would set such a repugnant ultimatum, not the person that refuses to submit to it. In an instance like this it would be the ultimatum maker that is guilty of vow breakage. It is their choice to either persue or end the relationship. I would happily let them go if they want to be so controlling and petty.

I disagree. My vows stated simply that I would cling to her for life....motorcycle or not. As a teacher I find that too many of my students do not have the same last name as the people with whom they reside. I wonder how often that is due to ultimatums that were laid out by either partner. The greatest attribute that a couple can share is the willingness to compromise. Without that not much else will help. Why would you marry some one who would issue an ultimatum? I have never even considered telling my wife how to be or what to do...and neither has she toward me. Further, relationships seldom truly end....they leave crap in your head when they leave. I find it disheartening that so many people have been so heart broken. Hope it doesn't happen to you.

[PhilB]

Originally Posted by Rob.G

This makes a lot of sense. And the current political state of affairs in the US is a perfect example. We have one side trying to create a culture of dependency, where everybody is reliant upon government for sustenance, and the other side, that is trying to create a culture of fear, where everybody is reliant upon government for safety.

Rob

FTFY.

PhilB

[PhilB]

Originally Posted by alii1959

I disagree. My vows stated simply that I would cling to her for life....motorcycle or not. As a teacher I find that too many of my students do not have the same last name as the people with whom they reside. I wonder how often that is due to ultimatums that were laid out by either partner. The greatest attribute that a couple can share is the willingness to compromise. Without that not much else will help. Why would you marry some one who would issue an ultimatum? I have never even considered telling my wife how to be or what to do...and neither has she toward me. Further, relationships seldom truly end....they leave crap in your head when they leave. I find it disheartening that so many people have been so heart broken. Hope it doesn't happen to you.

Although you may be making an assumption or two there about people. My wife and our daugher and I all have different last names. Ny wife kept her maiden name, as she was already known in her industry by that name. And our daughter came with her own last name, since she was 16 when we took her into our household. And yet we are an intact and loving family.

PhilB