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Old 01-14-2013, 02:15 PM   #1291
Platinumgrit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danham View Post
Barely coincidental that the following should pop up on Facebook this morning. This was posted by a neighbor here on Cape Cod:

"Just woke up to the most horrific and gruesome sounds coming from my hen house... Threw up my sheets, grabbed my hatchet and ran. Not knowing what to expect I approached with caution. Two dead chickens on the ground two more squawking in the coop. Got closer only to see a good sized coyote burst out of the doorway. Taken by my surprise and trapped he immediately turned on me. Bad move dude. You shoulda taken the first chicken and left when the get'n was good. Greed leads to nowhere good...Now I've got two dead chickens, two extremely disturbed chickens, one less coyote to worry about and a big bloody mess to clean up... Not exactly what I wanted for my Monday morning :( I'm just shocked that the coyote got over a 6' fence! Penny and Rudi, you will be missed! I thank you for your delicious eggs, amazing bug control in my gardens and all the wonderful energy you brought to the yard. Mr. Coyote, I'm sorry it ended like this. I'm sure you'll be missed by your family. May you all rest in peace. I think I need a long hot shower and a cup of tea.... I'm a wee bit too awake to go back to bed right now."

-dan
Yeah, I really sympathise with your neighbour. When I had chickens the local foxes used to try and get in. One morning I woke up to an almighty squawking, I lept out of my bed grabbed a shovel that was laying about and got to the hen coop in a flash. I saw some of my beloved chooks, bloodied and torn, and my dismay immediately flashed to rage. The first fox came flying out of the hen house, and in some complete fluke of luck met my full-power baseball-swing shovel going the opposite way. *KLANGGG!* I don't know how, but it either KO'd or killed the thing. It's partner in crime darted out, almost got away but another fury-fueled swing sent it flying into the air. Somehow in some contortion I still can't work out, I've managed to whirl the shovel over my head with all my force and slam the still-airborne fox into the ground, stunning it long enough to deliver a blow to it's head that sent its brains everywhere, breaking the shovel. With the splintered handle I've turned around and stabbed it's KO'd buddy repeatedly.

I didn't realise it at the time but I seem to have been roaring quite loudly, as the rest of my family woke up to this RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *expletives removed*. Dad sprinted out, to find half our chickens littered on the ground and a dead fox with a giant stake sticking out of it.

We still had half our chickens, but the poor little things were terribly withdrawn and shellshocked for the next 2-3 weeks. Didn't lay an egg, would walk around silently in a daze and make mournful little sounds. I'm still trying to figure out what shocked them the most - the foxes, or the sight of me roaring and bashing their predators with a shovel.

I loved those chooks, they were adorable, each with their own unique personality: Henrietta, Boadicea, Victoria, Elizabeth, Mary and Joan. (Joan, I had to break her little neck, as she was mortally injured but still alive when I got to her.) People think chickens are simple creatures, but I can tell you they really do have distinct and unique personalities. I really miss 'em :-(
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:17 PM   #1292
FatTirePlease
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Oh-oh -

Joe Biden wants your shovel !!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-14-2013, 06:55 PM   #1293
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Joe Biden wants your shovel !!!!!!!!!
Bwahahahahahahahah!
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Old 01-15-2013, 11:15 AM   #1294
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Simply awesome report.

First rate - pictures and writing. I concur with an earlier post - best RR since Zen!
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:39 PM   #1295
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Ok, you guys asked for it. Now it's ready. Link is HERE.
http://store.blurb.com/ebooks/370536...ian-supermodel


The book is 62 pages of some of the best photographs of the trip, along with a few quotes from the R/R thrown in to remind me of the most important things I learned along the way. All proceeds (minus the 20% blurb keeps) will go towards financing my next adventure (Europe or Asia) and next R/R!

Finishing the hard-cover project is next.

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Old 01-15-2013, 04:01 PM   #1296
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That is freakin' awesome! Buying the ebook now and let me know when I can prepay for the first hard copy!!
Alan
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Old 01-15-2013, 04:06 PM   #1297
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Uh, autographed of course...... ;-)
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Old 01-15-2013, 04:10 PM   #1298
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Uh, autographed of course...... ;-)
Hell Yes.
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Old 01-15-2013, 05:28 PM   #1299
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Great Idea! I would like my hard cover one autographed too!
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:30 PM   #1300
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatTirePlease View Post
Joe Biden wants your shovel !!!!!!!!!
Thankyou! I think...

:)
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:18 AM   #1301
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Purchased!

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Old 01-16-2013, 08:40 AM   #1302
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Uh, autographed of course...... ;-)
:) Thanks, guys, I'm now officially a professional author. :P
I'd consider doing a run of autographed/personalized books. That'll add a logistical element that will require me having a permanent address (which should be next month). For now, I've got to finish and proof them....oh yes. And get caught up on the Ride Report that started it all!!!
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:12 AM   #1303
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Death Valley is a tricky place to navigate. Not just because of the harsh terrain and wicked climate....as you can see from the map below it's tricky because there's a HELL of a lot to see and you can't just do a nice loop and cover it all. Most locations require driving out and back. A good example: Dante's View is only 2 miles away from Badwater on a map, but the the road you have to take is 40. I'm not complaining--it's those roads that make traveling in the park so phenomenal--but it makes trying to determine what to do and where to go a challenge that is compounded when you have to factor in the scarcity of petrol.



Ghost Rider recommended I take a particularly entertaining road into Death Valley from Vegas. Due to the time I arrived and where I was staying, I decided to do his route on my way out of DV. Seemed like a good idea, but that last day I it rained. The road was yet another 'once in a lifetime' kind of ride, but weather conditions dictated caution. Because I was so confident when I left that (at most), I'd encounter only a light sprinkle, I packed my raingear away in my tail bag (something I'd avoided doing since I picked up the gear in Montreal). I froze, but it was my own stupid fault.


Pic was taken right around Ashford Mills Ruins. I wish I had a waterproof camera--the terrain was spectacular.

It was just initially a light rain, but that's still enough to make 40 degrees feel like 5. And then the light rain turned into a downpour. There was no cover anywhere, so stopping was out of the question. Finally made it to a gas station, where there was enough cover for me to get my rain gear on.



There was a "Flood" sign just up the road in the direction I was headed. Seeing as though I didn't even take a picture you can tell how much I cared. Warning signs in California seem to be put up for no other reason than to scare old people and keep Caltrans workers employed. Chalk my nonchalance up to my disdain for the 'boy who cried wolf': a doom-impending WARNING sign followed by normal circumstances doesn't exactly grab your attention any subsequent time you see it. After the tenth sign it becomes another invisible piece of trash you try to ignore.

As I got my gear all packed away and cinched down, a cheerful old guy missing his nose and his left eye came out of the station to say hi. We had a nice conversation about the weather. He offered me some safety advice that I politely ignored just like the sign.

After firing the beast up (I was shivering at this point in my rain suit), I reached the 'flood'. And oh my, yes, the joke was on me. The good? I was only doing about 20mph when I hit the bottomless pool. The bad? I was only about 20mph. Far too slow to benefit from the front tire 'Moses Parting the Water' effect that happens at speed. The uber-high pegs on the Duck were lower than the water level, submerging my boots and that trick exhaust well under water. Staying on the throttle kept the water out of the exhaust, but did nothing to keep the water out of my boots. I pulled over to drain the water out of my Doc Martins, only to see another "flood" sign a quarter mile up. Yes, it was going to be that kind of day. I realized why the one-eyed old man was so happy: he wasn't me.

The scary thing? He didn't even mention the flood right in front of us. It was the road ten miles out he told me to watch myself on.

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Old 01-16-2013, 12:37 PM   #1304
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I think a book signing tour is on the horizon

Maybe this time you should try it on a Confederate Hellcat
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:52 PM   #1305
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At last you're moving, Dennis ! I thought you're going to stay in DV for ever ;)

Following closely ...
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