Insert clever airhead based title here ....

The tail end sort of works, & will do by the time I've banged & tapped & scraped it. Obviously hacked from the front of a another tank, the one that got a bit scraped up when I rode into the roundabout (see 'Planktons Letters to the Corinthians Concerning Stupidities', Chapter 14, Verses 14 to 41) -

Yes, yes, yes, that's a very interesting set of motorcycle-related info'n'pics planktonnn, but guess where I've been? That's right, The People's Republic of North Korea ! Here's a pic of me with some of my new buddies...first off, we're going to take Manhatten and then move south into my new kingdom of South Carolina where, so I hear, the livin' is easy...

I've still got the back-ache from hauling that fucker into the back of my old van, many moons ago....I think you should just stuff the engine back in it, and go for the mega-mileage K record. As I recall, there wasn't anything actually wrong with the engine was there? And in any case, I think the world is now ready for that unique and stylish chopped up tank refitted as a seat hump. No one else has got one, have they? And, as I recall (2), that K went like shit off a shovel*.

* A technical term

We're not worthy.

No, but you are Lornce....don't be fooled by my scam with the North Koreans, it's only a ruse to get me established in South Carolina. I'll 'let them go' after my coronation, and then my real plan will be put into place, which is as follows:

a) The introduction of a genuine republic based on common law* and sound
money.

That's it, simple really. No corporations whatsoever, no quasi-governmental
organisations in any form, no dual-citizens, no lobby interests, a cull of all lawyers, an altruistic and true educational and medical system, and a complete separation of any and all 'belief-systems' and the state. Sovereign citizens will be allowed to believe any old shit they want to, but they'll have a hard time getting past the special ADV council on 'straight thinking' and, to pay for all necessary expenses, over and above individual costs, money issued by the new republic will be under the strict control of 50 year old
postmistresses with a parsimonious bent. There will be an army, but it will never set foot outside the republic, and all natural resources will be developed and conserved for the common good. All forms of mind-shit, like TV, Hollywood, glossy magazines, bad food, bad medicine, and all other poisons will fade into oblivion due to the ban on corporations. No business will be allowed to employ more than 25 people, to spread innovation and share out earning potential, all energy needs will be accounted for by guys operating out of 'invention sheds' and hemp will produce all manner of amazing stuff, from fabrics, oil, paint, fuel and construction materials. Genuine gurus will be attracted to the new republic, so as to gradually get the citizens heads together while the generational shift is underway, but the new-found pleasures of levitation and easy-orgasms will take care of any understandable reticence to embrace change. Naturally, under the hemp industry, all liquors and smoking products will take on a whole new meaning, and the overall vibe will be mellow.....

* Common Law = Cause No Harm. That's physical, emotional, mental and financial. No if's, no but's and definitely no maybe's....

+

But none of this can happen until AFTER the Yellowstone Caldera explodes. It's all in the microfilm I sent, don't tell me your microfilm reader's up the spout again?!? Ok, we'll do it your way, I shall have the plans produced as a series of illuminated scrolls with woodcut illustrations & placed in the usual spot (3rd cave to the left, high up, somewhere in the Sinai Desert) in the usual manner (in some old jars or amphora in a corner). Do have dear Hakim Chiltbugra 'find' them as usual eh?

Of course if you were really dedicated (sick, lonely) you'd have taken the time & effort to have replaced all the heads but one, which would have been funnier (rule three: opposites are always funny). However the mere fact that you did but one insertion does mysteriously & unexplainably (so don't ask) demonstrate to Dr. Me, & my esteamed collegues Dr. I & Dr. Myself, that you're applying a sensible decision making process on the 'time/effort/fuck that' rationic quotientmentalism front. This we should call progress.

This is entirely equivalent to Platos definition of justice, as voiced via Socrates in 'The Republic'. Have you been hanging round down the library again? You know you're banned. All that education what goes on there in those there grand spires of Oxfraud must be rubbing off*

Yes, the seller was less than helpful I thought. Buuuuut, did you climb into the back while the van was doing 70mph along a goat track & pick it up after it fell over? No, no you didn't. This, you say, is because you were 'driving the van ferfuxake', but it didn't look that way to me. In relation to falling bikes or low speed drops I have a personal proclivity for simply throwing myself under them, it seems so much cheaper? Once Unkle Ugly (Paul) was my driver for a gig in 'Nam** and we had to go over a happily retracted rising type bollard to get to the load in. He was hysterically reluctant to risk it coming up under his lovely high quality vehicle (Vauxhall) and so I lay on the retracted bollard and fucking screamed at him to drive over me & I'd cussion it if it rose. Our loss is Hollywoods 'gain'.

Re: Engine. Thing is, my dear fellow engine extraction ninja colleague pjcr2001asparceoddity(directorscut), the ever amusing, never logical & increasingly Jesus resembling*** Asstral has sorned the K75s I sold him (& rebuilt 3 times), and is looking to sell (at a very optomistic 1400!?!) as he is short of cash because, amongst a plethora-rama of other reasons, he did not have his annual crash last year. Sooooooo I might drop the 50-60k motor out of his K while he's 'confused' (1974 to present, no variation expected) & jack my K motor up in to it. For the purposes of litigation this does not constitute an admissible confession of intent. It is just a joke. You may not recognise it as such due to no funny, which is a double bluff because I may just do it.

Kind regrudges,

Mr. Barry Noid.



* Which by a startling coincidence is the reason you were banned from the library in the first place? Ha. Ha ha. Cough.
** Cheltenham.
*** A VERY LOT!?! I am currently trying to persuade him to dress in biblical garb & I'll drive him from cathedral to cathedral. He can just pop in, grab a reliquary or ark of the covenant or Spear of Desiny or something - Say 'Dad just asked me to pop in & borrow this back for easter, you don't mind awfully do you?' then pop back into the van etc.

While I'm at it that Lornce fellow worries me, it's like he's everywhere I go. Just me being silly no doubt. Anyway, did I show you my new radiator in the Shedquaters? -

Poor Arsetral if he hadn't spent £50,000 on that 3 wheel money pit and sold more onions he might be in a better monetary position.

Well indeed, but this is the way of Asstral, best observed from a minimum of 10 metres off. Oh, and I gave him all your contact points & copies of your house car & bike keys and told him you'd be delighted to give him a hand with the K & Robin. No, there's no laughing emoticon. I'm fucking serious.

He should of course convert the K to batteries -

No I'm not

Yes I fucking am.

And so too am I

And so three am I to infinity no returns.

There is always one hey Planktonnn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=qciVXUHTN10

Balls how do you post a vid properly :huh

<object height="340" width="560"></object>Copy the embed code & paste in post, but this vid doesn't seem to be of anyones balls?

Urm English please

Oh let it be known that on ye Yewtube webbeshite that one doth find on thy ancient & mythical 'internet' of olde & wonder, one doth seek ye magical embed button below the majic picture of the deville cast therein, or of a sealion wyth a buckette, depending.

On pressing thereon one be-eth majickally transpoted to ye bit where one can select size and borders & stuff. Now, young sorcerers apprentice, comes the hardest & dangerous part of thous holy quest. You must highlight the embed code shown in the box & copy it, and only then canst thou pass the 11.3 headed beast that awaits all who dare to fuck about with this stuff, and paste it into your post here in the majical kingdom of ADV where all is good & fair.

Really, do I have the time to be making this shit up already? I'm getting worried & more relaxed at exactly the same instant. No wonder I've got a year long certificate...

I think, in terms of posting shit, we should call this BIG SUNDAY!?!