Insert clever airhead based title here ....

​

So, this has arrived from glorious Essex, and will be ripped apart rebuilt as a standard non-modded 80k mile 1985 R80RT with a 1k top end, stainless pipes, panniers, top box etc. Gone thru top to tail but left as an 'honest example' as we say over here in the grand old county of Fuckinemshite. Which is here, which is not over there, which is where most of you are, there.

We've never tried to build 'The Standard One' before, as most of the airheads produced by Martha Farquar Motorcycles* have benefited from lavish application of hacksaws & grinders & battery repositionings; a wonderful patina of use; abuse; the liberal application of hammers, sometimes intentionally. Not oily & grit spattered from neglect, sort of ratty but not survival**, certainly not brochure restoration*** - What's the least it needs to run? So, The Standard One presents a different challenge.

I've not previously enjoyed the idea of being restricted by what Helmut thought best. When free to mod I find most bits from most years fit across most production variations, or can mostly be made to easily. While we won't be sticking exactly to brochure spec for that exact frame number



* A loose comedy assemblage of people who failed metalwork/shop, and generally accept the outcome of a fabrication for what it turned out to be, rather than being concerned with how far it was from that which was intended :-D Except Dan Dan the Dan Dan Man, who can actually use tools and machines to a (generally) successful outcome. We point at him in wonder, and ask to see his certificates (again), though he is verging on OCD when it comes to polishing, I think it's because he didn't have a pony as a child :-D

** Gas mask headlight surrounds no thankyou ****

*** We will aim to present our lucky buyer with a '85 BMW for which they will give us reasonably many of their English Pounds. Toodle pip!?!

**** No dis to those who do, but we don't :-D

Ok, first things first, just where the hell am I and where are you? You're either too drunk, or I'm too sober, but it sure sounds nice.

Secondly, are you allowed to write such things on the interwebs?
Nevermind the bollocks, what is Toodle Pip!?! ?




Other than needing a bit of spoon feeding on those 2 things, please carry on.

You Americans need to get out more

Hes a Too and From From the mother country, good old England

They say all sorts of weird things over there. A bit like us Aussies

But then we are only a bunch of naughty Poms anyway

I am doing a deal with planktonnn with regards to starting a number two bmw airhead project as he has a 1977 frame begging to be sawed up and modded.

Any way i'm late for work so I'll be off now

I've probably traveled more than most on here. I've been to 6 places in Oz plus Tazzie-land on 2 different trips.

I have drunk the green slime, had the meatpies at Rottsnest Island off the coast of Perth/Freemantle, dove the barrier reef near Green Island in the NE, walked the old prison near Hobart, and driven all over the UK and Ireland, had a pint at the guinness factory, walked the giant's causeway and the beaches where they filmed Saving Private Ryan, and had too much to drink on Wine St in Swansea, Wales.

but I still didn't understand what the hell he said. We yanks are just hopeless I guess. I think if I drink more and re-read it, I'll understand.

Datchew:

I too am waiting for the translation. Or at least the "I was drunk when I wrote that". I've had Haggis pizza in Scotland (never again) but not been to Oz. If given a choice I'd love to move to Brisbane for a year or two.

T.

I am here, you are there, if you were here you wouldn't be there. Unless I went there, in which case I'd be there & you'd be here. I hope that clears that up. Toodle pip = Ta Ta.

Now, here's a little quiz - Which one of us has a sump full of metal cornflakes & glitter? That's right. ME!?!

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Because I've been pointing my affections at the new project in the top pic, my regular airhead ride has decided to blow up. It's nothing to do with me running it on full throttle for 50 miles straight on a hot day, or the slightly low oil level, or the lean mixture & short pipes causing it to run hot. No, it's nothing to do with any of those things.

It's jealous. They always get jealous when you switch attention to another machine, and immediately throw a big end or main in revenge just to re-focus your attention. Being parked in the front yard it didn't know that I was already ratting up a K75 in the back yard. But wheeling the new one & boxes of spares directly past was asking for trouble.

Ahhhh. Yes, it's all clear now. Thanks!

Ooooh... this is going to be jolly good.........



















And whilst we are on the subject of proper language, wtf are No-Toes.....??

In some counties hereabouts they have more than the requisite number of toes, whereas round here they have less. In our particular case it's not a genetic throwback due to sibling sex, but because our Health & Safety policy strictly requires that we wear sandals in the workshop (my shed). So far we've been lucky & not trapped our tootsies under a centre stand, but it's only a matter of time...

Good, good, keep up there chap, eh, what!?!

Jerry tossing cabbage crates over the briney, what what?

Stiff upper lip and think of england!

You've made it into my top three Britishisms with that one:

1) Snog
2) Bimble (thanks, E-Kev)
3) Toodle Pip

When you say 'doing a deal' surely you mean 'handing over all the cash' ?

How the blazes did you know I'd had a bimbling snog with a Lass we round here call Toodle Pip? Have you been following me?

Our Jeremy seems to have moved out of the cabbage tossing business, and these days just buys whole countries instead, it's so much simpler.

I'M THE ONE WITH MOST BROKEN PARTS ON A RTW READY BIKE.

I had to replace it all, a bike clamed to be " Ready for an OZ trip or RTW, whenever you like Mate), ending up sending me straight to the Hell of BMW's worse nightmare. With a limited time on a straight budgett this ended up really well, specially when i was told that the guy before the previous owner had discovered the problems, sold the bike cheap as a result of this. Previous owner rode the bike 10.000k's with a rat motor, added 1500$ aus and sold the broken bits(bike) to me.

http://picasaweb.google.no/helgaairhead/BMWR80GSParisDakar846283429#5310227014084606754



Whole story here:

http://picasaweb.google.no/helgaairhead/BMWR80GSParisDakar846283429#

Helge
www.helgaairhead.wordpress.com

So, The Standard One is mostly stripped. The fairing will need a reasonable amount of patching & painting. We'd like to avoid a full respray as it would cost too much, and in some senses would be untrue to the bike. It's done 80k, it doesn't have to look brochure fresh. The fork stanchions are a bit tatty, but recoverable, or they'll be replaced from the spares department (my shed). Front disk seems almost new, pads & caliper seals may be replaced, depending on what I find when I get in there. Single disk at the front was standard for this model/frame number, though I might like to stick another on if possible. Even one brembo beats two ATE's anyway It's a drum rear, which unlike the disk rear, does actually provide some retardation. Not that we're lacking that here.

​

The frame is sound, though there's slightly more surface rust on the rear of the frame and on the subframe than I might have expected. We suspect a waterlogged seat under a dripping drain, or a man with a watering can & a vendetta against properly fabricated frames. It's all simple to clean & coat though and now I've degreased it things look ok. There was a crack on one end of the pressed steel strap across the top of the subframe, which Shinyboyspankly has been kind enough to stick together with his magic metal melt melding skills. The subframe should be cleaned & coated today, and will be placed in the assembly area (my shed).

The swing arm needs a little cosmetic attention and maybe new bearings, but the driveshaft & bevel box seem very good with almost zero wear or play. The rear shock seems good with no leaks or bounce, though we've got a spare anyway. It needs a new rear tyre (that's tire for those that need translations). The gearbox seems very smooth, though beyond inspection, the only way to know if the drivetrain's ok is when we run it. All seems good so far though.

The block doesn't turn over freely, i.e. plugs out/allen key in rotor bolt. It will turn, and keeping in mind that it's sat untouched for four years then such stiffness might perhaps be expected, but my guess is an unhappy rear crank seal & main bearing, as there's a lot of glooped up oil in the bell housing. All the engine/transmission/brake fluids are clean, as if the thing was serviced before being parked up, due we are told to an electrical problem. The next step is to pull the barrels off to see if the pistons or rings are bound, or at least to elliminate that as the source of the stiffness, pull off the sump to check for metal mess, and get to the big ends & mains to see what's causing the problem. We'd rather not have to change the mains &/or big ends, but it seems I'm going to have a practice run with my other airhead anyway

Overall it still seems a pretty good prospect, and the cash we'd recoup from sale of the stainless exhaust system & top box/pannier cases would cover what the whole thing cost us anyway. Sometimes I wonder why I bother starting anything like this, but everything will be fine once I get my lobotomy.