DaFoole & J's Fake Baja Adventure

So, we're going to Baja. Nope, not there yet. Launch date ~ 3/7/13. I know, I know....WTF?!?! Well, I'm sittin' here with a Lagunitas IPA, some pics and thought I'd start this thing as that will give me the impetus to possibly /actually complete it when we return....assuming we return....

Yep, as so many have before us, we have received a litany of dire warnings from friends and family....



We're gonna be robbed, raped, spanked, beheaded, corn-holed, sold as sex slaves, get chapped lips... Our bikes will explode, the water is bad, tires will shred, we're gonna shit ourselves and all over those unfortunate enough to be nearby....daunting stuff....An endless barrage of doom, gloom, despair and defeat...

Yeah, well fuck 'em.

Rather be killed while living than be dead while alive.

Plus, sailed to Baja many, many years ago and found the place and people charming, friendly and always helpful.

Now, I don't believe in unicorns, Brittany Spears, nor elves so we are going with a pragmatic approach. Mostly stay away from border towns, dive bars and donkey shows. Well, maybe not the donkey shows... Avoid guys named Juan or Carlos. You know, all the common sense stuff....

Anyway, the plan is to slide through Tecate and from there we have no idea whether it'll be to the west or east coast 1st. But it will be both coasts eventually as we have 3 weeks and we're gonna see all we can see and do as little as possible.

This means a good deal of sloth.

Sloth is good.

And hey, it's my specialty...

Coming up....the PREP

THE PREP

This whole thing started about 8 mos ago when my young friend Jay and I were drunk at some campground somewhere along the coast. We were sitting by a fire and having beer fueled pre-adventures. Baja came up and there you go. We were both in.

Me...57, fat, bad knees, balding, snore loudly, fart a lot...I mean, what's not to like?



I've been tooling around on bikes for about 45 years...was doing adventure riding when it was just, well, riding....

As the genre evolved so have I. No longer am I content with a cheap, lightweight simple bike that can be fixed with bailing wire, a rock and some old cheese.

You know...common sense.

Na...I want the good shit, baby...

So I got one of these....

Meet Black Betty....



Anyway, I didn't have a whole lotta stuff to do to my bike beings it's about 1 1/2 yrs old. Have already farkled her up pretty well. Added a new set of Heidenau K60's, changed the aircleaner, locktited everything I could find, snugged the spokes and we're good! I did add these which were a Christmas present from my young friend...

Old and new side by side....



Pivot pegs... Kinda nice, better grip before you fall off.

THE PREP

...continued

So, many years ago I decided I needed a travelling companion. My needs were simple. An iconic figure who inspired millions. One who would listen when I had things to say. Someone to drink with who would not drink my beer and then explain they had a class in the morning. Hard to find...

I tried to get one of these, but alas, the company was out of business...




So I dug down deep. I searched my soul. What did we all need? What were we all looking for? What drove us daily?

Very simple. Pussy.

Voila!! I give you, Bill the Cat.



Bill (the Biker Pussy) has been sitting on back for about 60k miles now. Never a complaint. Never a jab in the ribs when dragging the pegs or going over a hundred. Wind, rain, sleet, snow, hail, 100+ degrees....no problem. He does not complain about the beer selection. Bill has gotten many a tourist to wander over, smiling and say "what the fuck is that?"

Bill has eased my way out of two tickets as the LEO's involved couldn't help but start laughing, giggling while issuing stern warnings. Indeed.



So that leaves Jay. My riding partner. The protagonist in this tale of (fake) adventure.

In our next installment, Jason, man of many farkles....

Where were we....oh yeah...Jay aka Jason aka the Hebe....

Jason and I met several years ago at work (ER) and formed a common bond over bikes. He, at the time was running around on a sportbike (R1) and eventually "graduated" to a Harley (FLRJSTRRH...or whatever the fuck it is....)
He took a frenzied ride through the west on said steed and after an ass busting 2 wks was willing to listen. This led to the purchase of a WeeStrom which he has painted and then farkled to a level to get the most assiduous IBA type drooling...

Having OCD tends to help...

I'll get into all that later....

Lets talk about Jay... There are a few issues.

He tends to be too serious at times.....



He has a problem letting go...



He's not too stable at times....



He tends to find gravity warps....



He hates chain maintenance...



...and he loves good beer....



He's got a few things going for him....

A HAWT girlfriend...now his fiancee....

Here she is presenting and then ready to sample my Christmas sausage...





Gotta love the girl....

More to come....

This probably isn't going to be Sibersky Extreme II, but I am definitely subscribing. Should be good.

subscribed already Dafoole!

Great start
Which day are you heading out? I might be getting a bad flu soon

South on March 8th or 9th as I recall.....

So PREP...

Well, it seems we have been a bit busy though it's all hazy right now....

I did a bit of research here.... http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=812249


Got a whole lotta good info from a lot of great people....

Anyway, there are common concerns in Baja...

Where to stay, when am I gonna get the shits, where is the next gas, who's the hottest salsa singer...

The list tends to be endless...

We decided to start with the basics...

Let's try to prevent this....





...and this....






Cause a' these....







So....I got one of these from an inmate.





Turn your dirty-ass minds off!! It's not a marital aid...(well....I guess it could be....) ...it sterilizes water when you cannot find bottled water. See. I care dammit!

Research has not been definitive as to cleaning/sterilizing other things.....:eek1



Otherwise were gonna have to stock UP!!!



..to be continued...

Let' er rip....

Looking forward to this journey

Dafoolest,

I'm already enjoying your report! what a great start. tWe depart Portland this Sunday and plan about three weeks piddling around Baja. Our first trip there as well. Hope we run into you guys so we can toss some beers. We'll be the guys picking our Yamaha wr250 r's up outta the dirt.

We'll be the guys lolling around beaches farting and scratching....

Hope to see y'all there!!

Against my better judgement ............... I'm in!

I'll be following along mostly out of respect for my deceased Mother ............... your avatar pic looks just like her.


Travel safely and have fun amigos. Okay, let's ride!

love the intro to your trip!!!!!
this sounds like a wreck and I am all for watching wrecks happen.
Seriously, I am in. I think I laugh at every post you make. Where in thee hell do you come up with all the pics, a tat with diarrhea, microbials talking about poo, a riding buddies fiancee doing really cool stuff to a present, just to damn funny not to ride along with ya

As a friend noted, "my hard drive is a descent into one of Dante's hells..." :eek1

So I guess mom jokes are out.... :eek1

Great sense of humor, had me rolling numerous times 2 pages in...love the thong on the ST!! Be safe dude

Ummm can you actually start riding toward Mexico already!!! Maybe at least eat a Taco

I decided the blow up doll was over the top.....

Dude, you have no idea.... Gotta still work the weekend, go to a meeting on Tuesday

....then I'm FREEEEEEE!!


As far as Tacos....I'm saving myself for Baja per your good instructions from past trips......

I'm headed for Baja in a week to play pit crew for a group of buddies in the San Felipe 250. From the sound of your planned debauchery, it may be the last opportunity to see Baja in an unspoiled condition as well!!!

Definitely "IN" for the ride - go fast and take chances! Also, a wise (?) person once said to me, "you ain't got a hair on your ass if you don't ride back to camp naked."

I'd like to pass the challenge along - kind of pay it forward, as they say...




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