Great motorcycling lies

This might be a fun one to go with 'Motorcycle Maxims' http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=373088 .... unless it has already done the rounds - but forgive this new inmate if so.

Let's see what the best motorcycling lies are!

Here's a few to get the ball rolling:

"Did you see my wheelie?"

"That little bit of oil is nothing to worry about"

"I never get off the throttle through that corner"

"For sale, suit learner"

"They all do that"

Az

"...you just need to ride it hard for a while."

"Those tires are like new!"

I love my Harley.

I bought it to save money.

I don't think that's a lie - especially these days with gas price$. Of course it almost never turns out to be true but when people do the pre-buy economic analysis they've never owned before so don't know all of the costs. I remember when I first learned that tires don't last 30-40k like they do on a car - I was appalled.

Five posts and this hasn't shown up?

"Loud pipes save lives."


"Good riders don't need ABS."

"Wearing a helmet will break your neck in a crash."

"I'm that one special guy who should learn on a Busa."

"I laid it down to avoid crashing."

"Don't use the front brake"

Good riders don't NEED a bike at all...

My bike doesn't NEED ABS. It didn't come with it, and it's been doing fine. Never been down in over 25 years of road riding. And I sure as hell don't NEED it on my race bikes!

No, I don't NEED ABS -maybe you do...

My rear brake is GREAT!

Telling people I bought it to save gas even though it gets shit for gas mileage.

Telling people I don't ride fast because 85-90 feels slow on it.

I am going out for a short ride...

"Never ridden in the rain" (Actually... probably hasn't.)

"Low miles, never raced, adult owned." (So it's safety wired for style points?)

"Always garaged" (leaning against the outside of the garage wall, under the eaves, counts, right?)

"Runs great" (last time it started.. six years ago.)

"Well maintained" (when it broke, I got it fixed. Except that last thing that broke six years ago that I never got around to fixing.)

"Huh, it's always started right up before!" (Except that last time I tried, six years ago...)

+1

Did you guys see me backin' it into that corner? :huh

It looks like an easy trail...
...:eek1

I ride better when I'm drinking.

I knew a guy with a really fast Harley...
(I do have to apologize for this one a bit, I remember seeing a stock looking FX pushing an honest 130 hp at the back wheel during jetting work one time.)

My brother was driving his 55 Chevy 155 mph and still had half the pedal left. (I know it's cars, but the BS factor is the same and this was actually said to me.)

Back in 1975:
Some guy, "Know anybody who wants to buy a nice Harley?"
My Z1 riding buddy, "What year did they make that?"

"Dress for the ride, not the crash"

"Turn the fuel on dummy"

"You where really flying when I passed ya"

"If ya cant afford the fine, take the lead"

"Did you pay for that haircut"

"Break in those new boots on your first long ride"

"Follow me"

"ATGATT makes you smarter and faster"

"I hear those BMW's are a pretty reliable machine"

"I will be right back, only going down the road for a quick spin" Hehheee

"I don't need any safety gear, I'm only going around the corner to the store."

"I don't drink whisky when I ride anymore and I don't get drunk on beer."

"There is no such thing as counter-steer."

"Riding in groups is always safer than riding alone. Oh! and you gotta stay close together so no one else can break up the group."

"Why would I wear all that shit? I only ride from bar to bar and I don't go that fast."

"I'm a good rider. I did 165 mph on the freeway the other day!"

"There's no way riding in circles in a parking lot teaches you handle a motorcycle."

"You're on a Beemer? It takes a real rider to handle a sportbike!" -Spoken by a 17 year old in shorts and a wife beater on an R6.


Mr. King

I like most of the above, especially "I had to lay it down..."

In general, just about any motorcycling statement that has numbers attached to it is a lie, or exaggeration (x mph, y mpg, z hp, etc.)

"Nice bike- what model BMW is that?" -BMW rider, talking about my Yamaha FJR

"Cute bike- when you going to buy a real motorcycle?" any number of HD riders.

"Yeah, but you can't do these parking lot drills test on a real bike, little girl- that's why I'm here on these toy bikes."- an 'experienced' HD rider, to the woman I was teaching a beginner's class (RSS) to. She proceeded to get on her RoadKing and do the demonstration again. Shut him right the hell up... and he never did get through the cone weave, even on a toy bike.

"Never exceeded the speed limit"

"Never been dropped"

"Never been off-road"

"You can't learn to ride a bike in a parking lot" which goes along with this one -

"Bikes have to go fast so they stabilize"

and...

"You can't pop a wheelie with a shaft drive"

You beat me to this one - I got it from the PO on my KLR. If it was true, then I am not sure how that clump of turf got stuck up under the rear sub-fender