Warped VIII: The Epilogue

Our fire is open to all and you, sir, are welcome!

Nice work, Mike. Thanks for posting the pix up! I hope DV wasn't too miserable for you

Sa-weeeet! I bet that was a great ride through Monitor! Bet it was cold, too

....beautiful ride!! Road was pretty much dry. Not as cold as you would think....especially after the previous several days.....

I was really hoping I didn't drop the damn thing again after this picture:

BTW, for those who asked, the black bag is the Nomad tent with poles, stakes and footprint.



which is THIS tent when set up. Stayed dry and wasn't bothered by the winds. Pretty good considering the weather we had.



The newer version has several changes, the only ones of which I am aware are the flooring material and a bigger (:eek1) vestibule...



I have NO affilitation and bought the older version from an inmate who wanted the new version. My thoughts on the tent are it's a great rally/3-4 day tent. Waay too much trouble to put up and down for an overnighter. Came through all the weather with flying colors.

I was hoping quite the opposite.....

damn son.

you guys woke up before the sun was up:huh

Old bladders and full Gatorade bottles......

As others have said Awesome write up there Mike...it was quite the experience from having Ben pick up the bike the week before, getting my permit (damn I feel like a kid) to ride the bike on Monday, and being the hell up there on Thursday was quite a way to spend some time. Yeti was right (I probably won't be saying that again) but it was a GREAT experience and I had a blast. Looking forward to throwing the bird at the Mayan's next year!

Ben picking up the bike....well, 'nuff said.....

Great to meet you amigo. Your sense of humor will do you well in this crowd. Sorry about the company you keep.....:eek1

oser

Fuck the Mayan's!!!

here is my brief ride report

This trip was meant to be a test of my $100 truck which has not been driven for such a long distance in this century and trial tires with ultra-heavy-duty tubes.. however it turned out it to be also my first ever on-the-road tube changing which I had to practice twice...

The truck (Toyota Pickup 1980) did very well. Showed some vibes when taken above 70 mph, but 21 mpg which is decent for its age. Need to work on noise reduction though .. Some rubber seals on the doors would help I guess..

I arrived late on Fri and Gerg kindly helped me to find a spot to camp.. When I was ready to roll on Sat everyone who were riding already left so I was on my own. I tried Canal trail and on the first hill came to conclusion that if I would proceed further I likely to spend the rest of Warped looking for help to get my bike out of the abyss..

So I got back on a highway, had a lunch at "Broken Egg" and found a Sawmill Rd which I took up to the ~4100+ ft.
Given my geographic location for the first 27 years of my life I can not share fascination with wet dirt covered by snow, so I turned back before getting more familiar with Sierra's variety..
MT43 tires performed quite well and very predictable, though I could see some spin-offs looking on my tracks going back but feel on the bike was pretty solid. (soo much better than my previos snow riding events http://www.advrider.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=152244&stc=1&d=1203322878 )

On the way down I spotted the nice dry dirt roads along Isabella lake beach. I headed there and it turned out to be a National forest with Jeep trails some of which are open for off-highway vehicles and some for highway licensed only. There were couple trucks parked and no bikes. I had a blast riding there and did my first on-the-beach riding and water crossing to little island. Almost dropped the bike on the way back and got showered with water from spinning rear tire.

Another test for my tires and tubes came in a form of 2 inch nail. I propped the bike on conveniently shaped stone to change a tube. I only carried front tube so I decided to patch a hole in my brand-new UHD tube. Patch on, tube back in, but it does not get pumped above 6 psi. Ok, plan B then. I put in spare 21" tube and pumped it up - it still can not be pumped above 6 psi - here I decide to check the air pump and arrived to conclusion that it failed. I hear some shots fired on the beach of the lake, walk there and ask Mexican guys shooting beer cans if they have a pump. They do not have a pump, but get couple cigarettes out of me and offer a beer. It was tempting but I declined and went back to my bike.. I put the wheel with 21" tube with ~6 psi in there and not seated bead, tighten a rimlock and rode the bike to a highway on a flat. There I hanged for a while and proceeded riding on the side of the road in first gear for couple miles. The tire re-adjusted itself and I really started to feel bumps from rimlock on every revolution. At this point I guessed that 21" tube probably is already shot and decided to put back the patched one and wait for someone with air pump.

Several groups of cruisers went by while I was struggling with a tire. AAA truck stopped just when I changed the tube and was spooning the tire back on. He asked if I need help and I asked him to air up the tire. He turned up his compressor... I offered him my AAA card to file it as a call (which I was told by AAA work for motorcycle also) however he said it takes a special RV and Motorcycle card. When he checked the compressor it was 54 psi ...

I think my patch was rated for just 53 psi since tire started to deflate immediately.. I put the wheel back on the bike (took twice longer with a second person help), he pumped it again and off I go.

I stopped at the closest gas station trying to decide if I need to re-patch the tire or refill it and try to make the remaining 10 miles to the camp and, luckily, Lost Rider,1224R and Razr rolled in. That was great since it turned out the compressor on the gas station did not work anyway. Lost Rider pumped my tire with his cool electric pump and I followed them to the camp just in time to catch some beer from the bottom of the keg which I needed badly.

Seavoyage on the way back demonstrated that my truck can be driven in motocross boots just as fast as in my Piloti racing shoes.

Here are some pics:

https://plus.google.com/photos/1039...ms/5733280866314568513?authkey=CLbr-dvi6-OpYg

Great event, thanks for organizing it and it was nice meeting you guys ! Next time I will take a thinner sleeping bag

PS I thought that the person in "Weed Police" hat was my hallucination but watching photos posted here I see he was real

Sergey, just tried to load your photo's on SmugMug...no joy....sorry....

Aweaome RR LMAO thank you for sharing. Sounds like you had a good solo adventure to tell at some future drier date. Sucks, but enjoyed the read. Thanks again

I think I talked to you on Saturday morning and you were going to ride with me and my brother. We went to town for about 10 minutes (in the Dodge), and when we got back, you were gone! Oh well, maybe next time. We ended up riding the Cannell Trail till we got turned around by snow.

Yeah, I remember talking to you. Thanks for checking back. I also got pointer to the rendezvous point at Kernville and went there but was too late .. Anyway, I found out Cannell Trail (the one btw the camp and Kernville ?) has too litle margin for error for my current level. I turned back at the first uphill on the side of the slope. I am impressed you made it on 650L!

hands down the best Ride Report on WARPED VIII.

it was good to meet you and we're glad to get you back to camp in time for a beer.

come out to WMRS in August.

AKA: Wet, Cold, Buzzed, and Happy as Hell

So after a packed week, including a fast trip to Denver and running two client off-sites I've finally had a moment to sit down and write up a ride report.

<strong>Thursday, April 12, 2012</strong>

Thursday morning begins with the sky pouring rain like piss out of a boot. Dressed up like the Michelin Man and way over packed, I man up and tear off in the downpour for my first ever motorcycle rally, to my first ever ADV event, on my first real trip on a new bike to meet some FFs for the first time for the ride down. What could possibly go wrong?

Cyath (Mike) and SenorPeligro (Andy), stand up guys that they are, have offered to let this n00b ride along with them to WARPED and we are to meet at 9:30 in Livermore at the Panama Red Coffee Co. Forgetting to ask and not knowing if they mean meet at 9:30 or leave at 9:30, I arrive at 9 AM. The rain pauses just long enough for a dry dismount and I show up just moments after they do and we quaff down a coffee and some breakfast. Then it is off to WARPED!

SenorPeligro leads the way and we angle out Patterson Pass Road to 120 and then pick up 99 South. Lunch in Tulare at the Black Bear Diner provides me the opportunity to try their Chicken Fried Steak and the massive 4x4x4 inch biscuit. Excellent and too much food is the report. Should have taken a photo.

It rained off and on for the whole trip, but nothing too serious. Looking at the weather report lead to us avoiding any route other than the 178. Luckily we had a dry and spirited trip through the canyon. Just short of camp and with my Contours turned off, SenorPeligro sees a hawk try to remove the cam from my helmet. I ducked just in time and it missed. Sure wish I had video of that.

We arrived at camp under cloud cover and a brief break in the rain. Gerg, not quite sure what to make of my overloaded Connie, kindly checked us in and DaFool pointed the way to the keg (good call on the Blonde Gerg!). And, half a beer later we were sitting up camp. I set up two tents, one for me and one for TheDonPuccio who had been delayed by work until Friday.

Mike and Andy get set up quickly and discuss where the keg might be hiding...

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Mike (DaFool) was a little incredulous as I dragged out the tent, cot, air mattress, sleeping bag, cooler, chair, tarp, and tarp poles. He quickly recovered and quit giving me shit when the cigars came out. Clearly a man who has his priorities straight.

The rain abated long enough to get a few pictures.

Dragon M getting a lesson in something - probably illegal.

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Distant Thunder enjoying a smoke.

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JStory playing bartender.

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It of course started raining again as soon as I got both tents set up.

Details from here will remain generally vague, but we had a hell-of-a-time around the campfire with (list redacted) in attendance most of the evening. [And yes, that comment is in there for the sake of plausible deniability for most of you FF's. "Ah, gee hon - I wasn't there when that happened."]

Super Dickmans made an appearance (see photos elsewhere on this thread) and were quite the hit. I was lead to believe that his was entirely the fault of LongTallSally and shipped in especially for us from Germany. And although what happens in Kernville is generally fodder for worldwide distribution via ADVRIDER, names have been changed and photos deleted to protect the guilty..

I do have to say that the most infuckingenious decision of the night was to start the rumor that the keg was dead. I owe whoever was kind enough to start that a cigar or two since our campsite clearly knew how to use the pump and kept drinking till we turned in. Poor thirsty bastards.

Moral of the story is never believe a drunk ADV'er.

Conestogaman and GoinPostal did the favor of bringing tacos and JStory brought the grass-fed organic burgers (and the fully stocked mini-bar). Seriously killer contributions to the event - from the bottom of my stomach, thank you!

<strong>Friday, April 13, 2012</strong>

Woke up Friday with rain and a severe need to hit the head and low-and-behold there was no water in the restrooms. The well had collapsed. Not a good start to the day. :huh

Everyone stood around waiting on Gerg's next pot of coffee to perk and trying to stay warm for awhile. And being resourceful, a ride in the deluge into town for breakfast and a bathroom was deemed the best course of action. (After some 20+ ADV'ers, I really feel sorry for the regular patrons that needed to use that restroom.) :eek1

Chicken Fried steak for breakfast again:

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Back at camp, while the erstwhile Eagle Scout NappyG (AKA Ben Carufel ) dried his gear in sopascat's dryer, (don't ask) while she knocked out a couple of batches of brownies for everyone - what a doll!, we decided to live up to the name of the event and started the Endurance Drinking about 10 AM. The keg still had plenty of beer.

The agenda for the rest of the day boiled down to drinking, eating, bitching, trading insults, telling lies and trying to stay dry. There were a few breaks in the rain and then it started snowing. Snowing for crying out loud!

DaFool defying the weather gods!

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Lucky for us and the restaurant patrons, along about 3 PM the camp owner got our water back on and it lasted till about noon on Sunday.

Some folks couldn't handle the pressure and disappeared (or perhaps more likely they were just off for more beer):

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Cell reception was not great for AT&T in camp, but txt messages seemed to get through okay and Pete, TheDonPuccio, was keeping me abreast of his trip down from Sac. Mid-afternoon I got the message his bike wouldn't start in Fresno after gassing up. About an hour later the next message was that it was his starter clutch. He arranged to get it started and turned around and headed home. Another participant out. Next year Pete - I'm going to need some minions.

Sometime in the afternoon Gerg brought by a sample of the most righteous stout I might have ever touched lips too. THANKYOU CONESTOGAMAN! Nice to know you'll be bringing some of that back next year!
DaFool cooked up some amazing ribs, the beer flowed, the lies got bigger, the insults sharper, and the night colder.


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I'm sure I'll miss some, but I had a hell of a great time with DaFool, Yeti, Darien, Nappy G (aka:Ben Carufel), JStory, Gerg, Cyath, sopascat , SenorPeligro, Lasherman, Memnok, Bonerov, Augie_Dogie, Roger and a whole bunch of other FF's who's names and or ADV handles I didn't catch. Apparently even Petefromberkely and RAZR were at our fire and I never made the connection. Next time gents!

By the time we went to bed we could see stars. Particularly some claimed we could see Orion's dick. I have no clue WTF they were talking about. Neither do I admit to any knowledge of "cake, yoga pants, hamster nipples, whale taint, or pedobear."

Saturday dawned dryer but still overcast and Mike, Andy and I decided to ride Death Valley. First stop was Ridgecrest for breakfast at Kristy's Family Restaurant. And the rest of the day we spent running into the same usual FF's at all the gas stops.

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They wanted to make a run to "the pinnacles" and so I, being on a 100% certified street bike, demurred and spent a half hour taking photos instead:

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After we reconnected, along some lonely stretch of highway I see Mark ahead of me signaling. And here is where the confusion set in. When I make that same signal with my regular riding buddies it means "go on - let it rip." And so I did.

Unfortunately, he was waving me up to let me know his bike was dying on him. To quote Colonel Jessep: &#8221; Don't I feel like the fucking asshole? " But I did get a nice run out of the Connie in the process. Next investment clearly needs to be a radar detector. Luckily when he caught up, he was still running and we made it back to camp in time for dinner and the raffle.

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With the cloud cover gone, it turned off COLD. Good thing there was food, beer and a couple of fires. Not sure who ordered the ice cream for dessert, but I'll bet there was plenty left over. Dinner was excellent as was the beer. Although no one started the rumor in time and we ran out before all the prizes were awarded.
Getting close the grand prize, GillaFunk pipes up and says "Whoever wins the Klim prize has to run next year's WARPED."

Asshat.

And I thought to myself - "Awe shit, I'm going to win that damn gift certificate." BOOM. Gerg claimed that the drawing was rigged. I think that was just his way of sinking the hook.

Beerless again as the keg of red was emptied during dinner and the raffle, we took up a collection and Gerg and sopascat, and perhaps some others made a beer run. God bless his fur-covered head.

Anyway, later, around the fire I committed to being the HDIC of WARPED IX if Gerg and Yeti would support me and keep me from making any n00b mistakes. Of course they agreed, no skin off their nose, and so next year I'll be heading up this bunch of misfits, degenerates, and adventurers. And the best part of this deal is that GillaFunk is already on the hook for WARPED X.

Lots of ideas were offered around the fire and the general consensus was that the theme should be "Post Apocalypse: Fuck the Mayans!" Can't wait for the first round of artwork on that one! More to follow soon.

One thing I can say for DaFool and YetiGS: they can build a fire

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<strong>Sunday, April 14, 2012</strong>

Sunday dawned mostly clear and cold with plenty of thick frost.

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Some hung out in camp waiting for the tents to dry and saying their farewells. Mike, Andy and I decide to eat breakfast in town while everything thawed out.

Mike and Andy patiently waited while I struggled to get everything back on the bike. Didn't think to take a photo until I was home, but here it is:

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I followed Andy and Mike out over the mountian via Twin Oaks. Wow. Not the best route on a top heavy street tires bike. Need to get some video up on that.

We get out to the 58 about the same time as another group of FF's and while Andy, who is in the lead is talking to them, I took the opportunity to root through my tank bag for my SPOT, which I had neglected to turn on when we left. I was just a minute behind them in pulling out but somehow, to make a long story short, we all got separated coming out. I did catch up to Andy, so we stop and wait. And txt. And call. And wait. And then decide to go on into Bakersfield and gas up until we can connect. By the time we did connect and make sure everyone was safe, Mike was so far ahead that we decided to call it a day and let everyone take their own ride home. I chased Mike up 99 the remainder of the afternoon never actually catching up with him and Andy headed west for a route with more twisties.

<strong>Epilogue:</strong>

Home safe with a filthy bike and gear still strewn across the garage I'm already looking forward to my next mix up with you FF's. Maybe I'll just repack for next weekend's Mayday Melee IV.

I've already been in touch with Gerg and Yeti about dates for next year and will get a reservation set and start the preliminary planning shortly. I'll be tapping a number of you for assistance with various aspects of WARPED IX. Gerg has volunteered to manage the beer, and Yeti is on the hook for the tee-shirts, stickers, and beer googles again.

Awesome job Gerg - thanks for making this happen!

Also, as a result of this weekend, the Vulcan is up for sale and I'm deep into my research on which dual sport will replace her. Recommendations and warnings are welcome.
If you are ever in need of anything on the way through the East Bay, give me a call. I have plenty of couchsurfing room and garage space. Until next time, FYYFFs!

WARPED IX: FTM!

Just following your lead!

Ah, my friend, you laugh - but no one complained!