baked beans. boston baked beans. yankee beaners. I'm long overdue for a ride report and ride I did this weekend. like the wind. or broken wind. I rolled out of flughaus and onto flugbike at 4:30 am saturday morning bound for Massachusetts and beans. I'd gotten a late nacht or early morgen urgent call from the Bissell Bridge Bombers Backyard Bonfire Battalion of Baton Roug- oh fuck it I went to the Yankee Beemers for their annual tribute to heavy drinking and general Tomfoolery. I saw it as a good chance to brush up on my bridge inspection skills, with all the nonsense and shenanigans threatening our nations covered bridges its never too early to prevent bridgeabuse. basically.
this bridge, which is rumored to have housed an entire brigade of british bandaloons during a rain storm back in 1775 was built on an abbutment of rock and is showing serious signs of boredom as nobody uses the fool thing anymore because they built a brand new metal one next to it. lazy massachechnians you think they'd just fill in the whole dam ravine and put a culvert in and be done with it. bullshitters.
speaking of abuttments I was tempted to air my head, balls and butt and strip to the buff and plunge into that pool. it was about 10 foot deep and crystal clear, but with all the motoguzzi riders around I decided against it.
speaking of motoguzzi riders this guy saw my bike and asked for directions to the rally. If he followed the ones I gave him he should be in Omaha right about now. I can't believe those Yankee beaners let Moto Guzzi riders come to a BMW rally. Whats next Ducati's? Ducatis suck almost as much as Buells and Buells suck more than any other bike except bike with sheepskin on the seats. sheepskin seat covers, as much as I like that bitch Barb from the sheepskin thing are stupid. if I had one thing I'd want on a desert island trust me it wouldn't be a sheepskin seat cover.
and speaking of russian submarines how embarassing must it be to be rescued by those bastards the british. "leave us alone we're OK" "nyet go away" the brits ought to send those bozo's a bill.
but nachtflug what about the yankeebeemer rally? didn't you go? why all this bridge stuff? maybe I'm a little buzzed on Budweiser buster. if you want to get to Heath you have to cross the damn bridge at some point why not here.
I charged them a bundle for my consulting fees and deemed the bridge unsafe and demanded that they close it. on hearing it already was I felt my work there was done and went to the yankee beemer rally 2005 in Heath Massachusetts. If you didn't go you missed a good time. seeing how theres 6 billion people on the planet not counting the ones the Muslims think are alive and gods that means theres an awful lot of you didn't make it since there were about 275 motherfuckers there including the Motoguzzi riders and that hottie on the Buell.
Besides the slight decay the old Bissell Bridge is looking good. I will have to say I rather like those old wop-hogs and sheep skins.
Judd was there and if I'd have waited .86 seconds longer I'd have had a cool pic of the rear tire shooting dirt out on his most righteous ride off dismount.
Judds late arrival to the gate resulted in a poor gate position, and start, and his displeasure was evident as he jockeyed into the first turn well behind the front runners, ahead of only one Max, and suffering the added ignominy of being bested by a GS12. a girls bike if there ever was one.
easy there, not all of us can have a nice plush GS seat, i have been blessed with the most uncomfortable stock seat put on a bmw since the ill-fated 1929 stainless steel seated, roatary engine in the wheel powered, Bahaus influnenced R6000...........
25 or so dual sporrters roared away on the dual sport ride, leaving 25 or so unattended tents and coolers. I fleeced them for about $225 large in small bills and a fine assortment of imported beers.
so Bubba Zanetti, with I'm assuming a sheepskin seat, myself, and Miss Chacifer moseyed on over to Hollerichs most awesome collection of Ossa's and more Ossa's. I never liked Ossa's but I liked his.
what kind of man has 8 Mick Andrews Trials bikes restored to like new condition. Jim buddy come back to us. Seriously, if you like 70's vintage offroad you need to get up to Adams Mass. the mans a saint.