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Old 06-22-2006, 05:28 AM   #61
jehu
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Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Vail,AZ
Oddometer: 3,602
A 3/8" cable stretched across the road. It was being used as a gate and was just high enough to clear the handlebars on the Yamaha CT-1 I was riding. Let your imagination work and you'll probably see the rest of the story. Torn esauphogus, transected trachea, 4 days in intensive care.....lawsuit (successful but insufficient)........new motorcycle!
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:21 PM   #62
HD
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Joined: May 2006
Location: California Central Valley - Giant Sequoias
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wedgeman
dude... woah... 'splain that one...
Sure. House party. I was a squid riding with no helmet, a t-shirt and tennis shoes. Left the party after drinking and smoking. Put a guy on the back who needed a ride home. Had to show off to everyone who was on the street. The cop was coming up the other way with no headlights to be stealth and maybe catch some partiers. No street lights either. I remember him being on the wrong side of the road, but...who knows. Coming around a blind turn in third gear doing about 60. I only saw him for a split second before we hit.

He was the local Sargent of the police department. I refused a blood test and held my urine for at least a couple of hours before I couldn't take it anymore and pissed like a race horse in the emergency room. They took a blood test anyways that was later ruled inadmissable in court.

When the police are involved in an accident it's standard procedure that an uninvolved law enforcement agency do the investigation (CHP, Sherriffs Dept, etc). This didn't happen. Instead, officers directly under him did the investigation and lied, saying that he had his headlights on.

I was in the hospital for a week and still have the scars on my face (the kind chicks dig). The passanger wasn't hurt as bad. He testified against me in court. My forks broke in two. The police charged me and I sued them. My Dad died when I was twelve and my "Big Brother" (from the organization) happened to be a lawyer and ex-cop. He represented me and the whole thing was a wash for both me and the police. Charges were dropped. My Mom kicked me out of the house soon thereafter. My next bike was an RD400 sqaure tank.

On a side note, I ran into some of the local cops months later at another house party. They recognized me and "roughed me up" pretty good.

I was 17 then. I'm 44 now. No "major" street accidents since.

I don't hate cops. I was a stupid little prick.

All true.
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:40 PM   #63
ikonoklass
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Location: Denver, CO
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Good story!
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:56 PM   #64
Codewheeney
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Location: Morgan Hill, CA
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1. Riding along outside Globe, Arizona. Early in the morning, and a small pickup truck is coming towards me. As he's about 500 yards away, I see a *folding table* levitate out of the bed, and then sweep towards the road. Only, it didn't just hit the road, it was still moving and sort of did this ground effect thing and started coming right towards me, about 1/2" off the ground. I braked hard and swirved into the breakdown lane, but the drunk bumps in the middle of the road disturbed the flight and it stopped stradling the center line. Two volts was behind me, laughing his ass off, I'm sure.

2. An ATV. This I hit. Riding the Senator highway, out of Crown King. Some ATVs come around a corner, I raise my left hand to wave, just being friendly. This causes me to drift to the left (my fault), and the second ATV dude was coming around the corner a little hot and slid towards his left (his fault). My left footpeg hit his rear wheel. Bent my footpeg and twisted my ankle. BTW: Straightening a Touratech footpeg is hard, it's still bent.

3. Beer. Riding outside of Payson, heading up on the rim, there's a pickup in front of me, with a cooler in a trailer. The trailer has little 6" tall walls, and the cooler is sliding back and forth. This looks like a bad thing, so I change lanes and accelerate to pass. Just as I'm passing, he hits a bump, the cooler flies out, hits the pavement and explodes in a shower of ice and beer. If I had waited an extra 10 seconds, there's no way I would've dodged all of it.

JC
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Old 06-24-2006, 05:15 AM   #65
mept
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Location: SE Michigan, pot-hole and orange barrel hell
Oddometer: 60
Last nite I hit a bat and a firefly. The latter was only wounded, fatally. I had a glowin the dark green neon face shield for miles. It was like a night-light for the inside of my helmet. Oh and last year, about 10:30 at night, about 30 miles into the Chatahoochee N.F. in TN, a shopping cart in the middle of the road. Must have been 30 miles from the nearest cart corral.
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Old 06-24-2006, 05:39 AM   #66
Doug Just Doug
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Location: Newark, Dela-where?
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I was exploring a very narrow, apparently almost-never traveled country lane in NE PA on my way to the '98 Rider magazine rally...came around a bend to find a roof taking up half the road. I stopped and looked back to see that a small barn near the edge of the adjoining property had collapsed and the roof, fairly intact, slid into the road. From the look of it, it had been that way for quite some time.

I've never hit anything bigger than a squirrel, been hit in the hand by a bat, and have had the usual close-encounters with deer, fox, 'possums (and a big turtle once) but a barn roof is definitely the strangest thing I've almost hit.
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Old 06-24-2006, 06:59 AM   #67
LandRover
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Location: Land of the 6-Foot Rat ....
Oddometer: 124
In the mid-80's, I was in Uncle Sams Sailing Club, stationed in Guantanamo Bay. In Gitmo, there lives a strange little beastie called "Land Crab". Adults are about 6" across, and tough as nails. When hit by a tire, the shells crack (obviously) becoming many-sided razor blades. Not good .... My bike at the time ('78 Kawasaki KZ750 Twin) was light enough (eh?) to bounce over most. But not all. I lost a few tires, but never really came close to the ground. In the spring, vast seas of baby crabs would migrate from the ocean, to the hills. Nothing stood in their way; not roads, not houses, nothing. Riding over these soft-shelled critters was an interesting feeling ....

Also in Cuba, a buddy and I were "testing" the upper end of the tach on his 750 Hurricane. We were on the only straight stretch of road on the base that was more than 1/2-mile long. It was early morning, and desolate. I was to make the first pass, and without doing a recon check, I saddled up to fly. I went about 1/2-mile, or so, and ahead, on the right, I see two buzzards enjoying brekky. Dead land crab; who'da thunk?

Anyway, they weren't too impressed with the high-performance whine of the big V-4, so they decided to leave for quieter quarters. One arced up and away nicely, but the other had second thoughts. He was convinced I wanted his meal, and wasn't about to let that happen. As he was curving back down to reclaim his meal, I arrived in the same airspace, running about 45, or so. I had started to slow down when I saw them, but as they began accent, I ceased my braking. Bad idea ....

He and I connected. I had enough time to put my left forearm up in front of my face as a block. He hit my forearm (they are amazingly light for a creature with a five-foot wingspan ...), and then sprung a large leak in his belly area. I don't clearly remember the actual impact, just the results. The bike quickly developed a nasty headshake (I wonder why), but as I was off the brakes, and traveling in a straight line, I was fortunate not to assume the prone position. Whew.

I came to a rapid stop in short order, dropped the kickstand, and shook like a leaf in a hurricane (cool storey, by the way PirateJohn! ) Jeff, my partner in crime, came riding down to check out the carnage. Bird #1 was long gone, but #2 was lying on the ground with his wings still outstretched. He had developed a fist-sized hole in his belly, and was leaking all manner of nasty, smelly fluids. Ick.

Jeff and I went back to the barracks to clean the bike, as I found some feathers in the fairing. And in the creases of the helmet. That explained the vile stench. Once I started cleaning, I found feathers everywhere: fairing, seat, under the seat, and in the battery box! Good Lord, that bird had exploded feathers everywhere! And not a small bit of poo, either .... nasty.

Back Stateside, I've had 4x8 sheets of plywood launch out of pick-ups, roof shingles peel elegantly off the stack on a trailer, and assorted beasties commit suicide under the tires. But haven't seen anything to tie the buzzard in a while .....

All The Gear, All The Time .... that's my motto!
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Old 06-24-2006, 10:52 AM   #68
The Raven
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not as cool as the rest

but when I was out riding logging roads a couple days ago I spooked a pine grouse, It flew about 1-2 feet in front of my handlebars down the road for about 50 feet and then veered off in the scrub
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Old 06-24-2006, 04:36 PM   #69
mjbeam
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Location: Forest Grove, Oregon
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The strangest thing that I ever almost hit was one of the wise men in a nativity scene on the lawn in front of the Courthouse in town. I was walking home after having tipped back a few and I saw what I thought was a sweet looking honey bent over doing something and I thought to myself "I'd hit that!" So I tiptoed up behind her and started hiking up her skirt. That's when I noticed she was either in serious need of a good Brazilian wax or else was a dude in a dress. Then I saw the baby Jesus looking up at me. I got the hell out of there. I'm pretty sure I'll be going to hell for that one.

-Mike
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Old 06-24-2006, 06:44 PM   #70
Doug Just Doug
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Location: Newark, Dela-where?
Oddometer: 536
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjbeam
The strangest thing that I ever almost hit was one of the wise men in a nativity scene on the lawn in front of the Courthouse in town. I was walking home after having tipped back a few and I saw what I thought was a sweet looking honey bent over doing something and I thought to myself "I'd hit that!" So I tiptoed up behind her and started hiking up her skirt. That's when I noticed she was either in serious need of a good Brazilian wax or else was a dude in a dress. Then I saw the baby Jesus looking up at me. I got the hell out of there. I'm pretty sure I'll be going to hell for that one.

-Mike
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Old 06-25-2006, 10:59 PM   #71
Ingrid
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Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Victoria, B.C.
Oddometer: 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by jshuck
1. an entire pallet of canned Coke in the fast lane when I lived in China.
2. a bale of straw in the fast lane on 287 around NYC at about 70 mph.
3. a front bumper off a 78 T-bird in the middle lane of 287.
4. a guy taking a dump beside the road in WVa. He was in the apex of a real nice curve...
5. another rider... I was working thru traffic, passing buses, etc in the Alps. I thought he saw me, but he didn't. His helmet caught my hand gaurd on the GS with a slight tap. His eyes were about as big as saucers. I shouldn't have been in his lane, but I thought he saw me. Assume..... makes an ASS out of U and ME.
Wow!! That's quite the collection.

I really like your definition of assume.....another expression I'd like to put on a t-shirt.
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Old 06-25-2006, 11:12 PM   #72
Ingrid
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Location: Victoria, B.C.
Oddometer: 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by andy112652
I was riding south on I-77 behind a pickup truck when the matress that was in the bed of the truck flew up and over my head. whew!
I'm thinking soft landing ..........

Seriously, that would have scared the crap out of me. Did you see if the mattress hit someone else?
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Old 06-26-2006, 07:35 AM   #73
RxRick
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Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Long Beach, California
Oddometer: 276
Two Birds at Once

I've hit the usual array of birds and bats (and a glancing blow to the helmet from a five-gallon bucket), but a couple months ago I hit two pigeons at the same time. They were flying along parallel and suddenly turned right. One bounced off the top of the windshield and the other hit me square in the chest. He bounced around between me and the windshield for a couple seconds then exited over my right shoulder. Feathers and birdsh*t everywhere.

--RxRick
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Old 06-26-2006, 02:32 PM   #74
Logo
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Location: New York City - Catskills
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emu attack

A horny emu trying to meet up with his mate in South Australia, and about a thousand 'roos on the way back from Innamincka, a one horse town I got stranded in. I had to ride back from there to Broken Hill to get back to semi-civilization and did the last stretch at night with the nasty buggers hopping alongside. WHen I got to the Hill I then hit a shedload of Victoria Bitters.
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Old 06-26-2006, 07:56 PM   #75
SloNEZ
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Location: Grand Rapids MI
Oddometer: 599
I didn't hit it (a big truck behind us did - smashed it flat), but the cheesehead sign blew off my driver ed car once at about 70 mph on the freeway. I heard it go off, and looked back in my instructor mirror just in time to see it get run over by the semi about 400 feet behind us. I bet it's one of the stranger things that driver ever hit.
The student asked if we should stop to pick it up. I said "hell no, we're not walking out onto the freeway to get that! Keep going, kid".
I always use one of the smaller size signs now - just in case.
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