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Old 11-13-2006, 12:26 AM   #1
brfinley OP
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All the Tommy's Hamburgers in the World

When you are adventure riding in the trackless wastelands of LA, you will find these food caches scattered throughout the basin called "Original Tommy's World Famous Hamburgers". And amazingly, they will still be warm. Mark these down. It could save your life. On the other hand, the chiliburgers might kill you if you are not used to this sort of thing.

The original shack at Rampart & Beverly ("Los Angeles" in the GPX file) is the place to go.
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Old 11-18-2006, 09:33 PM   #2
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I'm surprised that there are only 29.
The Rampart & Beverly location was a favorite late nite trip for me and my friends in college to see all the interesting people (and vehicles) who hung out there.
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Old 11-18-2006, 10:26 PM   #3
Donkey Hotey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brfinley
On the other hand, the chiliburgers might kill you if you are not used to this sort of thing.
Jeebus man, no kidding. I spent 10 years a mile from the Roscoe & 405 location and ate at the Rampart Tomain's two or three Christmas's in a row (it was something fun to do on Christmas night--and it was the only location open on xmas).

Then they put the new one up here in Palmdale and I started eating there again. I'm 41 now but I have to tell ya'--nothing--nothing else makes me feel sicker than a Tomain's triple-cheese.

OMG, I ate there three times and every time I got these weird flu-like symptoms. I'm not talking about throwing up or anything like that. It was strange, achy-muscles, want-to-go-to-sleep-for-a-week symptoms that usually lasted 12-24 hours.

I miss the tradition of going there at 2:00 AM and getting a triple-cheese, no-onions and feasting on that huge slice of tomato or the heap of pickles and mustard, but I just can't do it anymore.
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Old 11-18-2006, 10:35 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey Hotey
Jeebus man, no kidding. I spent 10 years a mile from the Roscoe & 405 location and ate at the Rampart Tomain's two or three Christmas's in a row (it was something fun to do on Christmas night--and it was the only location open on xmas).
You too, huh? The Rampart/Beverly Tommy's was one of our standard altered state munchy stops in high school, and I know I was there on a Christmas or two as well. Round about 1 AM, when the punk clubs got out (late 70s/early 80s), you got the strangest mix of spiked green hair, people in suits, cops from Rampart Division and lowriders all munching away side by side on the wooden rails, getting their grape sodas from the big coolers. That's the real LA that the tourists never see..
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Old 11-18-2006, 11:43 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ursa Major
...you got the strangest mix of spiked green hair, people in suits, cops from Rampart Division and lowriders all munching away side by side on the wooden rails, getting their grape sodas from the big coolers. That's the real LA that the tourists never see..
Yup, exactly! Those were the days before they had fries and Rampart didn't have a soda fountain: Hostess fruit pies, potato chips and canned sodas in the coolers. I didn't know you were a Tomain's connoisseur too Dave.

Damn, a Hostess apple pie dipped in the surplus chili and cheese was the best

Despite knowing what it would do to me tomorrow, I'm tempted to go over to the Palmdale store right now...must...resist...must-not-ruin-Sunday...
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Old 11-19-2006, 10:30 AM   #6
brfinley OP
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey Hotey
Jeebus man, no kidding. I spent 10 years a mile from the Roscoe & 405 location and ate at the Rampart Tomain's two or three Christmas's in a row (it was something fun to do on Christmas night--and it was the only location open on xmas).

Then they put the new one up here in Palmdale and I started eating there again. I'm 41 now but I have to tell ya'--nothing--nothing else makes me feel sicker than a Tomain's triple-cheese.

OMG, I ate there three times and every time I got these weird flu-like symptoms. I'm not talking about throwing up or anything like that. It was strange, achy-muscles, want-to-go-to-sleep-for-a-week symptoms that usually lasted 12-24 hours.

I miss the tradition of going there at 2:00 AM and getting a triple-cheese, no-onions and feasting on that huge slice of tomato or the heap of pickles and mustard, but I just can't do it anymore.
You have struck a nerve there....the vagus nerve (which serves the upper GI) to be exact. I am 53 now, and I know exactly what you are talking about. A chiliburger in general is a young person's food. Built as Tommy's does with raw onion, etc. it is a gut bomb extreme. Fortunately it is now a 361 mile ride to the nearest Tommy's, so most of the time I can just bask in the memories of balmy late December nights on Rampart Blvd. with exotic crowds.

However, it is occasionally worth it. For safety, this is the method:
  1. Premedicate. Drink lots of water just before arrival for dilution, and eat at least two Tums Ultra.
  2. Bring at least one rider who understands the problem. Share your burger with one or two other people. Make it an appetizer, then move on to some safer location for a nice steaming bowl of oatmeal with nonfat milk (for example).
  3. Hold the raw onion. For most people, that is the major component of gastric distress. The big oriental grill boss/customer disciplinarian is now retired. He won't be giving you grief for burger modifications.
  4. Bring a good attitude. Some forms of pleasure come at a cost.
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Old 11-19-2006, 11:08 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brfinley
Hold the raw onion. For most people, that is the major component of gastric distress.
Ahh...but this was not about gastric distress, indigestion or anything like that. It was an all-over achy feeling. I could feel and smell the grease coming out of my pores. It made me very tired and no amount of rest would make it go away. And I never got mine with onions anyway.

I can eat a whole can of chilli with a handful of cheese on top and never feel a thing except for terrible breath. No, something else was amiss in how my body processed a Tommy's cheeseburger. I was only kidding with the barfing smiley. It never did that to me though it could sometimes accelerate the call for a bathroom . Indigestion is very very rare thing for me despite eating Mexican for just about every meal.

But then again, I do hear what you're saying. I'm about to head out of the house and a triple-cheese really sounds good right now

I always wondered if there was a fun way to string together as many of them as possible as an organized ride--and eat a single-cheese at each one. Is it possible to eat that many cheeseburgers in one day? Given the Tommy's 'download timer' you might be able to do it though the challenge might be to get to the next one before the download begins.
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Old 11-19-2006, 01:55 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey Hotey
I always wondered if there was a fun way to string together as many of them as possible as an organized ride--and eat a single-cheese at each one. Is it possible to eat that many cheeseburgers in one day? Given the Tommy's 'download timer' you might be able to do it though the challenge might be to get to the next one before the download begins.


Interesting concept - the authentic two-day GI tract armageddon of a real pub crawl, without the risk of a DUI. You wouldn't happen to be an engineer, would you?
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Old 11-19-2006, 03:49 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ursa Major
...the authentic two-day GI tract armageddon...
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Old 11-19-2006, 05:43 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey Hotey
...I always wondered if there was a fun way to string together as many of them as possible as an organized ride--and eat a single-cheese at each one. Is it possible to eat that many cheeseburgers in one day?...
Sure.... Tommy's-Hollywood..........Portland.........Tommy's-Santa Monica...........Dallas.............Tommy's-Los Angeles.............Detox clinic in Pureto Villarta....etc. That should space them out enough to allow some survivors.
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Old 11-19-2006, 06:04 PM   #11
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My tummy Hurts!

This thread is too funny! I stubled across it and as a former USC grad student (many moons ago) who made many a death run to Tommy's, I swear I still taste that bile everytime I burp even now!
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Old 11-19-2006, 06:09 PM   #12
Ursa Major
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I just realized - I don't think I've ever been to Tommy's in daylight (and rarely before midnight); for all I know the place is run by vampires...
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Thirty years from now there will be a huge amount of oil - and no buyers. Oil will be left in the ground. The Stone Age came to an end, not because we had a lack of stones, and the oil age will come to an end not because we have a lack of oil. - Saudi Oil Minister Sheik Yamani, in 2000
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Old 11-19-2006, 06:19 PM   #13
Donkey Hotey
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Okay since a few of us are bumping this thread and in the interest of promoting it, how many locations have you visited?

This is the complete list. I've highlighted the locations where I've poisoned my body. Man, there's a bunch I've missed:
  • Barstow
  • Burbank
  • Canoga Park
  • Chino
  • Corona
  • Eagle Rock
  • El Monte
  • Fountain Valley
  • Hollywood
  • Huntington Park
  • La Habra
  • Long Beach
  • Los Angeles (the original)
  • Monrovia
  • North Hills
  • Norwalk
  • North Hollywood
  • Palmdale
  • Pasadena
  • Pico Rivera
  • Riverside
  • Rowland Heights
  • San Diego
  • Santa Monica
  • Simi Valley
  • Tujunga
  • Universal Citywalk
  • Valencia
  • Van Nuys
  • Westminster
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Old 11-19-2006, 06:39 PM   #14
Ursa Major
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I've been to the one in LA many times, and I think I've been to the one in Eagle Rock and at least to one of the Valley locations. I'm staying in Pasadena for the next few days, if I get drunk while I'm here I'll get a burger at that one in honor of the thread..

...though it's hard to pass up In n' Out, my new favorite drunk food, with locations in Pasadena and Arcadia..
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Thirty years from now there will be a huge amount of oil - and no buyers. Oil will be left in the ground. The Stone Age came to an end, not because we had a lack of stones, and the oil age will come to an end not because we have a lack of oil. - Saudi Oil Minister Sheik Yamani, in 2000
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Old 11-19-2006, 10:01 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ursa Major
I just realized - I don't think I've ever been to Tommy's in daylight (and rarely before midnight); for all I know the place is run by vampires...
I never thought of that, but it makes perfect sense. "Let's fatten them up a little more, iGore."
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