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Old 04-01-2012, 09:23 PM   #17371
harcus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RetrogradE View Post
So, my older brother (41) died about 18 months ago--pretty shitty deal for my family, especially after losing our dad at 57--but I got to Vegas for spring break to visit my inlaws Friday and 2 hours after getting here (and asleep) my brother in law called to tell me my brother's son (15) passed away Friday night of natural causes. You can read about it in ksl if you want.

I'm not really sure what to read into this, if anything. My sister in law is left with two girls (10 and 8); all the men in her life gone. My poor mom who's been alone for 12 years has watched her husband go, brother, aunt, son, and grandson.

Anyway, just wanted to pass it along. Misery loves company.
Not to be too inquisitive here, Steven, but is there some genetic thread ?
I have a friend whose father & his father, etc, for many generations had heart failure at the same age so much that they were written up in studies. Luckily my friend has passed that age but...
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:05 AM   #17372
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RetrogradE View Post
So, my older brother (41) died about 18 months ago--pretty shitty deal for my family, especially after losing our dad at 57--but I got to Vegas for spring break to visit my inlaws Friday and 2 hours after getting here (and asleep) my brother in law called to tell me my brother's son (15) passed away Friday night of natural causes. You can read about it in ksl if you want.

I'm not really sure what to read into this, if anything. My sister in law is left with two girls (10 and 8); all the men in her life gone. My poor mom who's been alone for 12 years has watched her husband go, brother, aunt, son, and grandson.

Anyway, just wanted to pass it along. Misery loves company.
Wow. That is a sorry thing.

My in-laws side is similar. Lost way too many way too soon.
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:08 PM   #17373
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light is right?

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Old 04-02-2012, 08:54 PM   #17374
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Those crazy KLR riders, what are they going to do next?
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:17 PM   #17375
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Hmmm, I guess we have some more practicing to do

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Old 04-03-2012, 12:29 AM   #17376
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harcus View Post
Not to be too inquisitive here, Steven, but is there some genetic thread ?
I have a friend whose father & his father, etc, for many generations had heart failure at the same age so much that they were written up in studies. Luckily my friend has passed that age but...
No genetic link to these deaths.

You can PM me for details if you're curious, but they are all independent.

And not to leave you with a cliffhanger, but all this stuff is so bizarre it should be put in a book. People would think it's a novel because you can't make this shit up. Except maybe Sartre.
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Old 04-03-2012, 11:08 AM   #17377
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OK, this thread has gone radio-silent and I hate that. It's like dead-air on the radio and now I feel like I've got to fill it with something even though most of what I'll write will be a complete downer. Or maybe some of you like this kind of thing, I'm not sure.

My life story, if I had to pitch it to a movie exec in an elevator:

Grew up Mormon in Bountiful, UT. Moved to Israel after graduating from HS for a semester of school. Went to BYU for fall semester, then hopped a jumbo to Toronto for 2 years, LDS mission. Came home, back to BYU then spent a summer working in Belgium. Met my wife in a bowling class at BYU--she was an anthropology major and I English Lit, but we both needed PE credits. We were married on a windy day in Vegas four months before we both graduated from BYU. 2 months later we moved to Denver for my new job and we loved it there--it gave us time to move away from family and spread our own wings.

10 months after moving to Denver, my younger brother (still living at home at the time) called me at 3am to tell me my dad--my hero, my mentor, my friend--had stepped out the back door of our childhood home with a twelve-gauge and checked out. He was an LDS bishop at the time, ran a great business, had no known issues (no money problems, whores, whatever) except maybe some depression that no one knew about. He was great at hiding that because he was so busy.

That was 2000.

Now skip to 2009.

Spring 2009: My dad's dad passed away and we buried him on a windy day in Idaho.

October, 2009: My wife's brother, 22, just back off a mission and going to BYU went long-boarding in PG and crashed, successfully mashing his brain enough that he was dead but still breathing. At the time, I thought he had left his body and was given a choice: you can stay here (wherever here is) or you can go back into a body that will require someone to help you all the rest of your days, immobile and decrepit. The family pulled the plug a few days later. He was a good friend to me and his death put me in a tail spin to where I started drinking. I thought to myself, "I'm 33 and I've never done anything." Turns out that with my family history of depression and mild anxiety, alcohol was not the best fit with my biology and I basically became a closet alcoholic.

Spring 2010: My mom's aunt died. My mom had cared for her the last few years of her life.

Summer, 2010: My mom's only brother died, natural causes, but he was a hoarder and a shut-in. He'd been dead 2 weeks before someone found him and it ruined me all over again because I wasn't a better friend to him. He deserved better than to just sit and rot in the summer heat, nearly nude in his lay-z-boy.

November, 2010: My older brother Scott was getting ready for a scout camp with his boy Monte. He sent the boy down the street to the church to meet up with the group while he got the rest of his stuff together for a shooting trip in the west desert. He was carrying stuff in his garage, including a Colt single action revolver bequeathed him by our dead uncle (who had 300 guns) and dropped it. Who the fuck knows why it was loaded but the damned thing went off four feet from him and shot him through the side, through the heart, and out the left side of his body. Dead as F.

February 2011: My wife's cousin (her dead brother's best friend, and my good friend too) never got over the death of his cousin, so he killed himself with a 1911 in his parents driveway on the outskirts of Vegas while his dad, a bishop, was at church.

March, 2011: My dead father's twin sister is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She's still alive for all I know. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

March 2012: Monte, my dead brother's 15 year old son, dies of natural causes. Last Friday he was playing night-games with his friends at a local elementary school. He told his friend he wasn't feeling well--having a hard time catching his breath, so he lay in the grass and lost his 21 grams while the moon was a flame white disc.

So, that's longer than an elevator ride, but whatever.

If any of you have taken the time to read my fiction (I don't blame you if you haven't), most of it is based on my history of loss.

My story, "A Tree Alone" is about seeing my brother-in-law in the west desert and how I was lost and alone. I really was lost in the west desert, but the road I talk about is just my bad decisions, mostly the drinking, and how I could get back on track.

My story, "Church of the West Desert" is about my uncle who lay dead for weeks before we found him, and the guilt I felt.

You can read them here:

http://stevenkdavis.com/SKD/Shorts.html

I haven't gotten to the rest of them yet.

So, right now, if I'm wearing my emotions on my sleeve which I never do, I'd tell you that I feel entirely forsaken, that the Lord has turned his back on my family and I don't necessarily blame him. I've shed my emotion like a snake sheds in spring when he becomes bigger and new. If you PM me or see me on the streets and tell me you're praying for my family I will tell you that I hope it brings you comfort but you're appealing to feelings I no longer have access to. The good news is: I'm not drinking anymore. I don't care if YOU drink or if you drink around me, but I realize now that booze does not play well with my biology.

I have 4 awesome kids ranging from 10 to 2.5 and you can see them all in my zombie movie (same website as above), a foxy wife with a hot ass and a lot of patience for me, and a mother who stayed with us through all this bullshit instead of checking out, physically or mentally.

I'm 1st councilor in the local elder's quorum (some of you might not know this language) but I told my fellas I was done for a while. Kind of a no-no in my culture, but I'm mitigating my pain right now and don't need other people affected with my anger.

So, that's it.

And there's no need to comment. You know more about me than most anyone else except for my immediate family.

SKD
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Old 04-03-2012, 12:03 PM   #17378
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The icing on the cake was having to spend 3 nights with Walrus in Mexco.

Steve, I'm sorry for your family tragedy. I really am. My in-law side has had some
really sad deaths as well so I'm familiar with recent loss.

It's cool you have your kids and appreciate them for a source of happiness.

I hope your writing helps get it all out and can speed the emotional healing.
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:24 PM   #17379
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pluric View Post
The icing on the cake was having to spend 3 nights with Walrus in Mexco.

Steve, I'm sorry for your family tragedy. I really am. My in-law side has had some
really sad deaths as well so I'm familiar with recent loss.

It's cool you have your kids and appreciate them for a source of happiness.

I hope your writing helps get it all out and can speed the emotional healing.

Thanks, Rick. I appreciate your words and your PM.

Since you bring up Walrus I have to say: he's the only guy I've ever lied to about how my dad died and I don't feel bad about saying any of this stuff because I think he's a pretentious bore and would tell him to his face if I ever saw him again. We were driving down to Yuma and he was motoring along, story after story, and somehow got talking about a guy he knows who kilt himself--and this is the part I can't remember exactly so I'm not going to swear he said it--but told me his friend tried to get some help and got on some medication and it gave him just enough energy to kill himself, therefore damning him. And the next sentence, "So, how did your dad die?" He asks, maybe one of three questions he'd asked me the entire trip because he was so damned busy foaming out the mouth with all the stupid shit he wanted to talk about.

"Heart attack." The lie came so effortlessly I was surprised.

"How old was he?" This was the second of three questions on the trip.

"57."

"Oh man, well, sounds like you have a family history there--you should really get a lipid profile [blah blah blah] when you get back. Take it from me, I'm the father of modern medicine and if I was any more perfect you'd be celebrating my birthday on Christmas." Or some shit like that and I knew I'd made the right choice not telling him the truth. Besides, I didn't think he deserved the truth as it was so I stand behind the lie.

I was very careful in my ride repot on Baja not to mention him by name because I didn't want to look spiteful or mean but felt his personality was at the core of my frustration that trip so I had to include him, just with an assumed name. But now I don't care. If he has issue with me, he can write his own ride report or post up and tell people I'm an asshole or post it here, because I probably am. The way my family is dying off, I might as well be honest until the government puts us on the endangered species list. Also, I'm thinking the Good die young and if I become an asshole (or a bigger asshole) maybe I'll stick around longer for my kids.

Anyway, I just heard a song on the radio (as I sit outside the MacDo replying to work emails since I'm in Vegas) that brought me peace:

"It's hard out there for a pimp /
when you're trying to get this money for the rent /
when the Cadillac and gas money spent /
a whole lotta bitches talking shit."


Oh wait, it wasn't that song.


It was this one:

"Old man down, way down down, down by the docks of the city.
Blind and dirty, asked me for a dime, a dime for a cup of coffee.
I got no dime but I got some time to hear his story.
My name is august west, and I love my pearly baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though hes no friend of mine.

Everyone said, I'd come to no good, I knew I would Pearly, believe them.
Half of my life, I spent doin time for some other fuckers crime,
The other half found me stumbling round drunk on burgundy wine.

But Ill get back on my feet again someday,
The good lord willin, if he says I may.
I know that the life I'm livin's no good,
Ill get a new start, live the life I should.
Ill get up and fly away, Ill get up and fly away, fly away."

--Warf Rat (by The Grateful Dead).
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Old 04-03-2012, 03:44 PM   #17380
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I bought some T-63 tires from this kid on the bike last year. The Van Dines up in Park City also ride this race and do moto also. One of them is on a completely stripped down Yamaha WR450, got it down to 220 lbs (kickstart only)...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GISkev View Post
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Old 04-03-2012, 03:52 PM   #17381
dieselcruiserhead
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Steven that is a crazy list there and I'm sorry to hear/see all of it. I've had good friends and friend's family take their own life in particular and it is awful.

On a more positive note t minus a little more than 24 hours to when I'll be unloading the KTM in Greenriver for another epic low weight dirtbike camping trip. Can't freakin wait/all I'm thinking about. Derek and Kev will hear several times a huge thanks for some of the beta they provided through San Rafael Swell and into the Dubinky area. I can't wait. The only part that is going to suck is rolling into Moab on Saturday night during Easter Jeep Safari. It will be fun to see how completely insane it is for the first time ever, but will be fun...

Pretty sick video of the the Luge aka Dead Cow Wash out near the Sand Dunes north of Moab, that we plan to ride..
vimeo.com/20313794
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Old 04-03-2012, 04:06 PM   #17382
RetrogradE
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dieselcruiserhead View Post
Steven that is a crazy list there and I'm sorry to hear/see all of it. I've had good friends and friend's family take their own life in particular and it is awful.

On a more positive note t minus a little more than 24 hours to when I'll be unloading the KTM in Greenriver for another epic low weight dirtbike camping trip. Can't freakin wait/all I'm thinking about. Derek and Kev will hear several times a huge thanks for some of the beta they provided through San Rafael Swell and into the Dubinky area. I can't wait. The only part that is going to suck is rolling into Moab on Saturday night during Easter Jeep Safari. It will be fun to see how completely insane it is for the first time ever, but will be fun...

Pretty sick video of the the Luge aka Dead Cow Wash out near the Sand Dunes north of Moab, that we plan to ride..
vimeo.com/20313794
Sounds awesome, Andre.

Be safe and have fun.

One of these days I'd like to do a ride with you. I promise I won't be so grumpy.



SKD
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Old 04-03-2012, 05:19 PM   #17383
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Who's the Utard that's into these tracks systems?

This one is for sale.

http://www.autoblog.com/2012/04/03/e...into-our-hear/
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Old 04-03-2012, 07:11 PM   #17384
The Walrus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pluric View Post
The icing on the cake was having to spend 3 nights with Walrus in Mexco.

Steve, I'm sorry for your family tragedy. I really am. My in-law side has had some
really sad deaths as well so I'm familiar with recent loss.

It's cool you have your kids and appreciate them for a source of happiness.

I hope your writing helps get it all out and can speed the emotional healing.
Baja Paybacks..............?
What an example of the worlds best engine.....



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Reality is what does not go away when you stop believing in it. -Philip K Dick
I wanna be skinny, but my ass is too big. - Charles Barkley
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West
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Old 04-03-2012, 07:12 PM   #17385
The Walrus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RetrogradE View Post
OK, this thread has gone radio-silent and I hate that. It's like dead-air on the radio and now I feel like I've got to fill it with something even though most of what I'll write will be a complete downer. Or maybe some of you like this kind of thing, I'm not sure.

My life story, if I had to pitch it to a movie exec in an elevator:

Grew up Mormon in Bountiful, UT. Moved to Israel after graduating from HS for a semester of school. Went to BYU for fall semester, then hopped a jumbo to Toronto for 2 years, LDS mission. Came home, back to BYU then spent a summer working in Belgium. Met my wife in a bowling class at BYU--she was an anthropology major and I English Lit, but we both needed PE credits. We were married on a windy day in Vegas four months before we both graduated from BYU. 2 months later we moved to Denver for my new job and we loved it there--it gave us time to move away from family and spread our own wings.

10 months after moving to Denver, my younger brother (still living at home at the time) called me at 3am to tell me my dad--my hero, my mentor, my friend--had stepped out the back door of our childhood home with a twelve-gauge and checked out. He was an LDS bishop at the time, ran a great business, had no known issues (no money problems, whores, whatever) except maybe some depression that no one knew about. He was great at hiding that because he was so busy.

That was 2000.

Now skip to 2009.

Spring 2009: My dad's dad passed away and we buried him on a windy day in Idaho.

October, 2009: My wife's brother, 22, just back off a mission and going to BYU went long-boarding in PG and crashed, successfully mashing his brain enough that he was dead but still breathing. At the time, I thought he had left his body and was given a choice: you can stay here (wherever here is) or you can go back into a body that will require someone to help you all the rest of your days, immobile and decrepit. The family pulled the plug a few days later. He was a good friend to me and his death put me in a tail spin to where I started drinking. I thought to myself, "I'm 33 and I've never done anything." Turns out that with my family history of depression and mild anxiety, alcohol was not the best fit with my biology and I basically became a closet alcoholic.

Spring 2010: My mom's aunt died. My mom had cared for her the last few years of her life.

Summer, 2010: My mom's only brother died, natural causes, but he was a hoarder and a shut-in. He'd been dead 2 weeks before someone found him and it ruined me all over again because I wasn't a better friend to him. He deserved better than to just sit and rot in the summer heat, nearly nude in his lay-z-boy.

November, 2010: My older brother Scott was getting ready for a scout camp with his boy Monte. He sent the boy down the street to the church to meet up with the group while he got the rest of his stuff together for a shooting trip in the west desert. He was carrying stuff in his garage, including a Colt single action revolver bequeathed him by our dead uncle (who had 300 guns) and dropped it. Who the fuck knows why it was loaded but the damned thing went off four feet from him and shot him through the side, through the heart, and out the left side of his body. Dead as F.

February 2011: My wife's cousin (her dead brother's best friend, and my good friend too) never got over the death of his cousin, so he killed himself with a 1911 in his parents driveway on the outskirts of Vegas while his dad, a bishop, was at church.

March, 2011: My dead father's twin sister is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She's still alive for all I know. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

March 2012: Monte, my dead brother's 15 year old son, dies of natural causes. Last Friday he was playing night-games with his friends at a local elementary school. He told his friend he wasn't feeling well--having a hard time catching his breath, so he lay in the grass and lost his 21 grams while the moon was a flame white disc.

So, that's longer than an elevator ride, but whatever.

If any of you have taken the time to read my fiction (I don't blame you if you haven't), most of it is based on my history of loss.

My story, "A Tree Alone" is about seeing my brother-in-law in the west desert and how I was lost and alone. I really was lost in the west desert, but the road I talk about is just my bad decisions, mostly the drinking, and how I could get back on track.

My story, "Church of the West Desert" is about my uncle who lay dead for weeks before we found him, and the guilt I felt.

You can read them here:

http://stevenkdavis.com/SKD/Shorts.html

I haven't gotten to the rest of them yet.

So, right now, if I'm wearing my emotions on my sleeve which I never do, I'd tell you that I feel entirely forsaken, that the Lord has turned his back on my family and I don't necessarily blame him. I've shed my emotion like a snake sheds in spring when he becomes bigger and new. If you PM me or see me on the streets and tell me you're praying for my family I will tell you that I hope it brings you comfort but you're appealing to feelings I no longer have access to. The good news is: I'm not drinking anymore. I don't care if YOU drink or if you drink around me, but I realize now that booze does not play well with my biology.

I have 4 awesome kids ranging from 10 to 2.5 and you can see them all in my zombie movie (same website as above), a foxy wife with a hot ass and a lot of patience for me, and a mother who stayed with us through all this bullshit instead of checking out, physically or mentally.

I'm 1st councilor in the local elder's quorum (some of you might not know this language) but I told my fellas I was done for a while. Kind of a no-no in my culture, but I'm mitigating my pain right now and don't need other people affected with my anger.

So, that's it.

And there's no need to comment. You know more about me than most anyone else except for my immediate family.

SKD
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Everbody's preachin' at me that we all wanna git to heaven, trouble is, nobody wants to die to git there.-BB King
Reality is what does not go away when you stop believing in it. -Philip K Dick
I wanna be skinny, but my ass is too big. - Charles Barkley
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West
Experience is what keeps a man who makes the same mistake twice from admitting it the third time around.

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