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Old 01-10-2009, 09:10 PM   #136
ibafran
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Joined: Apr 2007
Location: chicagoland
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bwringer
When replacing the starter on Mom's car in the parking lot at the mental hospital where she works...

...keep a close eye on the tools. Better yet, put the toolbox back in the trunk and only pull out the tools you need.

Also, less rain gets in the toolbox when the sky (of course) begins to piss down rain and lightning the moment you wiggle underneath, and a delusional guy with bushy hair appears out of nowhere to watch and tell you he's building a flying saucer for Jesus. And you notice him staring hungrily at the screwdrivers and chisels...


Scratch that -- I think if I could go back in time, I'd actually just tell myself to first look inside the car, slap my forehead, and put the shifter in park.
See post #119
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Old 01-10-2009, 09:27 PM   #137
Welshman
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Mention to your workshop that when they weld up your cracked lawnmower base pan, they should earth / ground it on the pan, not on the insulated frame, otherwise the "suspension" spring is going to carry all the current and will finish up glowing bright red!!!! Thursday

And when they do a pressure test on a vessel, (using a proper calibrated guage) make sure:
1. They picked a KPa not an MPa guage, it causes problems.
2. They dont have a closed valve between the guage and the vessel.
3. When they drain BIG tanks after the test, the filling fire hose isnt still attached to the vent (it goes flat) and you pull a vacuum, destroying a multi million dollar tank....


Welshman screwed with this post 01-10-2009 at 10:00 PM
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Old 01-12-2009, 12:43 PM   #138
MaxPower
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Check

While TIG welding, try not to set the torch in your lap and reach for something. Then accidentally stand on the pedal like it is a drag race. I guarantee that you won't have to wonder how the hole got in your pants.
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:56 AM   #139
dwayne
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release the pressure in the fork BEFORE opening the drain screw.
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Old 01-16-2009, 08:35 PM   #140
bwringer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ibafran
See post #119

Yeah, but you didn't actually purchase and install a brand new starter...

There might have been crazy people watching you, though.
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:19 PM   #141
DELTATANGO
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Electric fence

When installing electric fence connections with wing nuts (two handed method) make certain next door neighbor assistant waits until task is completed before plugging in high voltage transformer.
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Old 01-27-2009, 01:44 PM   #142
fritzcoinc
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VOLVO alloy wheel installation

When installing Volvo alloy wheels, be sure to have the rotional wheel locator in the recess in the wheel.

These G_DA_M wheels only fit on in one rotational way. There is a pin on the rotor lug face that locates the wheel. If you fall asleep at the wheel during installation and tighten the wheel lugs, the pin will punch a nice hole in the wheel.
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Old 01-28-2009, 06:51 AM   #143
worgoose
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When installing head bolts on a R75/5 5 extra foot pounds will not make it leak less oil
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Old 01-30-2009, 11:53 AM   #144
REALGRAVEROBBER
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Note to self: constantly consider shutting the f up (to self).

Removing a battery from a Porsche resets the radio and will not function until you get the 'code' to enter. 1year of no tunes thus far.

Keep cash on hand.

Always top off fuel, it's cheap for now...

High-risk women are in fact; high risk.

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Old 01-30-2009, 07:39 PM   #145
ibafran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bwringer
Yeah, but you didn't actually purchase and install a brand new starter...

There might have been crazy people watching you, though.
Nor was I on the grounds of a mental hospital. One of my all-time favorite fears is to wake up in a mental institution and not be able to convince anybody that I don't belong there. I don't need a note to self never to visit a mental institution, ever. Gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.

But, to stay on this minor topic, I once replaced a very expensive headlight on a very expensive car and the bulb failed to light. That was the moment that I started to read the manual and found that each headlight had its own fuse. Will I ever learn...?
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Old 02-03-2009, 04:06 PM   #146
UK Jimbo
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Always remember to tighten up the rear axle bolt on your bike after adjusting the chain and before riding half way across London.

Always put the lid on petrol cans before moving them or putting them down. The fuel might just create a freak high-altitude splash into your eyes.

Don't use excessive force to remove the old broken mirror from your bike before realising that it's a left hand thread and you've shattered a section out of the brake master cylinder housing.

Don't believe that because your aftermarket Acerbis tank has two petcocks that you have half of the reserve on each tank. Loads of fuel sloshes between the sides.

Don't run out of fuel from your aftermarket Acerbis tank five minutes before you're due to be at work and while you're driving over Tower Bridge in London.

Don't under-estimate the manual for your bike when it says that oil might get thrown forward from the frame when you remove the frame drain plug.

Resist the urge to try catching a soldering iron as it falls off the table

Remember to take your fingers out from inside the tyre before removing the tyre lever.

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Old 02-03-2009, 05:01 PM   #147
marchyman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UK Jimbo
Resist the urge to try catching a soldering iron as it falls off the table
That brought tears to my eyes. And a memory.

Do not put soldering iron on floor because the work table was crowded when toddlers are in the house.

It was over 30 years ago, but I think the only reason my daughter has forgiven me is that she was too young to remember stepping on on the hot iron.

// marc
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Old 02-03-2009, 05:33 PM   #148
Geek
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If you spill a bottle of CA glue on the floor.. don't step on the glue with bare feet.

Its not a sticking to the floor issue, its a "holy crap that burns!" issue as the glue sets on the bottom of your sensitive bits.
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Old 02-03-2009, 05:48 PM   #149
ChopperDoc
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Bring the map. Your memory is not what it used to be.

Bring basic first aid, water, and the means to make a shelter. A tragedy is an epic story you don't live to tell.

A day ride can end with trailside repairs in the dark. A headlamp is handy, and doesn't taste like whatever you dropped your flashlight in.

Dress for the worst weather, not the best.

In aviation they say that three useless things are runway behind you, altitude above you, and fuel on the ground. I guess that there's some corollary to be made, but I can't think of it right now.
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Old 02-05-2009, 04:00 AM   #150
wombatunderground
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When you have to use a fair amount of force to remove an inline fuel filter in a fuel injected car remember that just because it's not running doesn't mean there isn't any pressure in the lines. Fuel in the eye isn't fun.
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