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Old 12-28-2012, 10:06 PM   #916
Tinker1980
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I remembered a couple more.

When installing the transmission in your truck, it's possible to put the oil in the transmission through the hole the stickshift goes in. However, if you don't want a big bunch of gear oil on the floor, put the driveshaft in the transmission before filling it. Also, and this is important, don't let your helper pour that oil in while your face is right under the tail of the transmission trying to put the driveshaft in. Gear oil in the eyes is most unpleasant.

When the dash lights on your KLR go out, before removing the fairing, gas tank, seat, battery, and exposing the entire wiring harness to see where it has shorted, check to be sure that you haven't just burned out all three dash bulbs. Especially if you really hammered it over a bump the day you noticed your dash lights were out.

Last but not least, when you install lifting links on your KLR, adjust the headlight BEFORE you ride it to work, and then ride it home from work in the middle of the night. Especially if you are like me, and live about ten miles past the last street light. That bright spot five feet in front of the bike doesn't really help.
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Old 12-28-2012, 10:40 PM   #917
Tinker1980
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How could I forget, two more involving my very favorite old truck...

When your TBI-equipped chevy truck starts cycling between running good and almost stalling in 20-30 second cycles, and you remove the bed to replace the fuel pump, remember to replace the piece of 3/8" diameter 1.5" long rubber hose that goes from the top of the fuel pump to the rest of the fuel line. Because if you don't, and you put it all back together, the truck will drive you nuts trying to figure out why you STILL only have 5 PSI of fuel pressure.

When you get that nice random misfire telling you that you need new plug wires, and you replace them... don't assume you didn't get a brand new set of BAD plug wires from the parts store.

And one a friend has recently experienced - a mid-1990's chevrolet 4.3 V6 DOES have a distributor on it, no matter what your dingbat "mechanic" buddy told you. And when that distributor cap is cracked, no manner of fuel injector cleaning, plug wire replacement, spark plug replacement, or ignition coil replacement will make the truck run right. And lastly, even though the distributor cab has numbers on it for the plug wires, if your buddy is used to working on Mopar V6's, and he attempts to transfer that knowledge to a GM V6, it's going to run like absolute garbage because Chrysler and GM apparently number their cylinders differently.

Also, straightening that kind of mess out, in ten minutes, in the dark after work will elevate one to god-like status in the eyes of some, and they will expect you to know how to fix anything. So sometimes it's better to act dumb.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:03 AM   #918
DrunkWombat
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Not me but worth telling here:

A bloke from work went fishing with his mate. His mate brought his father in law along. They got to the petrol (gas) station and father in law went to fill up boat on the trailer.

After the first 100 litres (about 23 gallons) he asked how fuel does the boat take?

Quite a lot when you put the fuel nozzle in one of the fishing rod holders instead of the fuel cap!

The petrol dissolved all the injected foam buoyancy inside the hull ( which also contaminated the fuel!) but the bilges are now very clean.

Alas, no fishing was done that day...
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Old 01-06-2013, 02:38 PM   #919
Armydad
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"that's funny right dare, I don't care who yar" !
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:53 PM   #920
grizzzly
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Fuel tanks caps do not have dipsticks on them

Some times hydraulic tanks do

We were trying to get to a pallet out of the back of one of our buildings (had to completely empty a row to get to the back) and there wasn’t enough room on the dock for all the pallets so we had them strung out in the parking lot. The forklift was out of fuel so I sent Mr M to go get some fuel, when he go back he started dumping the fuel into the forklift. I happened to walk outside and noticed that he was on the wrong side of the forklift!!! (the fuel tank is on the other side he was dumping fuel into the hydraulic tank) After asking why he didn’t read the labels on the tanks he mentioned that he had never seen a dipstick on a fuel tank before and thought it was strange. We called the service center and they told us not to run the forklift with fuel in the hydraulic oil it was going to be the next day before we could get the tank drained so we had to drive another forklift from our other site 15 miles away
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:02 PM   #921
MiteyF
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grizzzly View Post
Fuel tanks caps do not have dipsticks on them

Some times hydraulic tanks do

We were trying to get to a pallet out of the back of one of our buildings (had to completely empty a row to get to the back) and there wasn’t enough room on the dock for all the pallets so we had them strung out in the parking lot. The forklift was out of fuel so I sent Mr M to go get some fuel, when he go back he started dumping the fuel into the forklift. I happened to walk outside and noticed that he was on the wrong side of the forklift!!! (the fuel tank is on the other side he was dumping fuel into the hydraulic tank) After asking why he didn’t read the labels on the tanks he mentioned that he had never seen a dipstick on a fuel tank before and thought it was strange. We called the service center and they told us not to run the forklift with fuel in the hydraulic oil it was going to be the next day before we could get the tank drained so we had to drive another forklift from our other site 15 miles away

You drove a forklift 15 miles?
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:40 PM   #922
grizzzly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiteyF View Post
You drove a forklift 15 miles?
It is a nice drive
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:13 AM   #923
troidus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grizzzly View Post
After asking why he didn’t read the labels on the tanks he mentioned that he had never seen a dipstick on a fuel tank before and thought it was strange.
There are a lot of guys who never learned how to read who are very good at hiding it. I once had a supervisor who made a point of having any prospective new hires write something on the application in his presence, just to make sure they knew how. He'd apparently been burned before.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:38 AM   #924
kamanya
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Out local forum had this post once....

Quote:
Do not drink and wash your pig at the same time....or ...Oh God what have I done


Senario .....Its a Monday night ....Its been a rough day..... a couple o mates stop by ....a few beers are drunk, followed by a few bottles of wine, and some good conversation. The mates leave cause its getting late and you just know its time to wash your pig....22.30 ....Im a sick person.
Of course there is no light outside and the missus has gone to bed ....so you haul out your washing bucket and give the old girl a good sponging down. ....Ahhh that looks good ....not that you can see a farking thing. Right some good old Dash just to keep the plastic looking good ....yip .....thats better ......but hey wait ....that dosnt look right ......FARK ....its a can of RED SPRAY PAINT.....how the Fark did that get in the bucket !!!!

Yes ...its just happened ....Ive just sprayed my Pig red. .....Im going to bed now ...and when I wake up in the morning this will all be just a bad dream....Good Night.
After pages of asking for the pictures and no responce....

Quote:
OK ....OK ...so Im awake, got a massive hangover and a sandpaper mouth

Walked outside ...and no ..it was not a bad dream...I now have a blushing pig Seems I started with the clocks then did all the black bits ....thank God the paint ran out when it did.

Pics to follow after I,ve had 10 cups of coffee.......
Finally....

Quote:
OK ....OK ....OK Im back...Ive been frantically scrubbing away at the mess. The pics from last night didnt come out ....but here is what she looks like now after a whole day of swearing and scrubbing ....

Note to myself

Stay away from Red Wine
Stay away from Red Wine
Stay away from Red Wine
Stay away from Red Wine

Ladies and Gentlemen.........I give you .........THE PINK PIG









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Old 01-13-2013, 11:57 AM   #925
viajero
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiteyF View Post
You drove a forklift 15 miles?
I've done a lot more than that when I was tasked with installing transformers for the City of Austin Electric Dept. Rear steering is a bitch, too
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:37 PM   #926
Pugsley/Hobbfather
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Rear steering

...it gets worse the faster you go...rather than being more stable.

No story, just some narrowly avoided problems on a narrow bridge.
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Old 01-20-2013, 07:26 PM   #927
jasiebol
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Pissed

when rebuilding a -32 hydrlic hose with reuseable fittings make sure you put the sleve on before you hammer down the fingers on the fitting so you dont have to start over
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Old 02-07-2013, 05:30 AM   #928
ioan
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When riding your trusty C90 down the dual carriageway, if you happen to look down and think 'that's odd, I don't remember that bolt sticking out that much before'...

DO: Push the swing arm bolt back in and hold it there with your foot until you reach the nearest DIY shop, take the bolt out (very carefully), leaving your bike balancing in the car park while you run around test fitting bolts in the shop. Re-assemble and continue.
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Old 02-09-2013, 09:15 PM   #929
JimVonBaden
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Never plug in a tire pump without making sure the on/off button is in the off position! ESPECIALLY if it is one with a built in Slime canister!



Jim
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Old 02-10-2013, 02:45 PM   #930
Bogfarth
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Eek Uhh, you did what?

Several notes to self here...

a) When you're done reading your plugs, reinstall them per usual and oh, don't forget to reconnect the plug wire on #1 before hitting the starter. The bike will sound strange, feel stranger, and have you going, "WTF is wrong now? Feels like it's on one cylinder."

b) If you're going to use up the last "dibble" in the Seafoam can, kindly see to a pair of important facts. Those being 1) the "dibble" is really half a can and 2) there's more than a gallon of gas in the tank. If you don't, the exhaust will look like a Cuban smoke shop is doing business in the pipes. Did this a few days ago. OTOH, it has never run so smooth!

c) A Work Sharp 221 will take your Leatherman Wave's serrated blade from "can't cut mustard" to "cuts with a wish." Use your thumb to trip the liner lock, but get that finner out of the way before you snap the blade shut. Lest the aforesaid piece of toothed cutlery remove a dime-sized volume of tissue from the pad of your phalanx, right down through and transecting the sub-q. Bleeding? Yes, yes there was.
I've never seen rubbing alcohol turn Hot-Rod Red that fast before.

To the inmates: buy a Work Sharp 221. It is compact enough for a tank bag, handy on anything from pen knives to axes, and when they say "shave sharp in minutes" they aren't kidding. Best $30 I've spent in the past year. Instructions are rolled up under the rough diamond plate. Read them, and you can sharpen anything.

d) When you're done playing with the zoom-zoom, use those two glassy spheres in the front of your head and LOOK at the ignition. See that black-capped stick with the two little silver sticks on a ring? Those are called "keys." Ignore them, go inside the house, and go about getting dishes n' stuff done. When the motor suddenly fires up two hours later, it will scare you shitless that some inbred, half-ganked felon is trying to steal your baby. Storm outside with a bat to wallop that hood-rat into the ICU. Instead of a toothless, cracked-out vagrant in the saddle, it's really the neighbor boy. This kid -- all by his nine year old self -- figured out the petcock, choke, kill switch, ignition, and starter button. See? Keys = important.
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