Note to self:

[Pugsley/Hobbfather]

When installing a new tube in a two -piece forklift wheel, make certain that you have torqued down the nuts that hold the assembly together before adding unregulated air from a chuck...just spinning the nuts on the first few threads ensures a trip to Fastenal...right after your trip across the shop when the halves separate, sending the top one into your chest.

The tube was fine, BTW, since the guy holding the chuck was no longer there to keep adding air past its design limit.

[Tinker1980]

I remembered a couple more.

When installing the transmission in your truck, it's possible to put the oil in the transmission through the hole the stickshift goes in. However, if you don't want a big bunch of gear oil on the floor, put the driveshaft in the transmission before filling it. Also, and this is important, don't let your helper pour that oil in while your face is right under the tail of the transmission trying to put the driveshaft in. Gear oil in the eyes is most unpleasant.

When the dash lights on your KLR go out, before removing the fairing, gas tank, seat, battery, and exposing the entire wiring harness to see where it has shorted, check to be sure that you haven't just burned out all three dash bulbs. Especially if you really hammered it over a bump the day you noticed your dash lights were out.

Last but not least, when you install lifting links on your KLR, adjust the headlight BEFORE you ride it to work, and then ride it home from work in the middle of the night. Especially if you are like me, and live about ten miles past the last street light. That bright spot five feet in front of the bike doesn't really help.

[Tinker1980]

How could I forget, two more involving my very favorite old truck...

When your TBI-equipped chevy truck starts cycling between running good and almost stalling in 20-30 second cycles, and you remove the bed to replace the fuel pump, remember to replace the piece of 3/8" diameter 1.5" long rubber hose that goes from the top of the fuel pump to the rest of the fuel line. Because if you don't, and you put it all back together, the truck will drive you nuts trying to figure out why you STILL only have 5 PSI of fuel pressure.

When you get that nice random misfire telling you that you need new plug wires, and you replace them... don't assume you didn't get a brand new set of BAD plug wires from the parts store.

And one a friend has recently experienced - a mid-1990's chevrolet 4.3 V6 DOES have a distributor on it, no matter what your dingbat "mechanic" buddy told you. And when that distributor cap is cracked, no manner of fuel injector cleaning, plug wire replacement, spark plug replacement, or ignition coil replacement will make the truck run right. And lastly, even though the distributor cab has numbers on it for the plug wires, if your buddy is used to working on Mopar V6's, and he attempts to transfer that knowledge to a GM V6, it's going to run like absolute garbage because Chrysler and GM apparently number their cylinders differently.

Also, straightening that kind of mess out, in ten minutes, in the dark after work will elevate one to god-like status in the eyes of some, and they will expect you to know how to fix anything. So sometimes it's better to act dumb.

[DrunkWombat]

Not me but worth telling here:

A bloke from work went fishing with his mate. His mate brought his father in law along. They got to the petrol (gas) station and father in law went to fill up boat on the trailer.

After the first 100 litres (about 23 gallons) he asked how fuel does the boat take?

Quite a lot when you put the fuel nozzle in one of the fishing rod holders instead of the fuel cap!

The petrol dissolved all the injected foam buoyancy inside the hull ( which also contaminated the fuel!) but the bilges are now very clean.

Alas, no fishing was done that day...

[Armydad]

"that's funny right dare, I don't care who yar" !

[grizzzly]

Fuel tanks caps do not have dipsticks on them

Some times hydraulic tanks do

We were trying to get to a pallet out of the back of one of our buildings (had to completely empty a row to get to the back) and there wasn’t enough room on the dock for all the pallets so we had them strung out in the parking lot. The forklift was out of fuel so I sent Mr M to go get some fuel, when he go back he started dumping the fuel into the forklift. I happened to walk outside and noticed that he was on the wrong side of the forklift!!! (the fuel tank is on the other side he was dumping fuel into the hydraulic tank) After asking why he didn’t read the labels on the tanks he mentioned that he had never seen a dipstick on a fuel tank before and thought it was strange. We called the service center and they told us not to run the forklift with fuel in the hydraulic oil it was going to be the next day before we could get the tank drained so we had to drive another forklift from our other site 15 miles away

[MiteyF]

Originally Posted by grizzzly

Fuel tanks caps do not have dipsticks on them

Some times hydraulic tanks do

We were trying to get to a pallet out of the back of one of our buildings (had to completely empty a row to get to the back) and there wasn’t enough room on the dock for all the pallets so we had them strung out in the parking lot. The forklift was out of fuel so I sent Mr M to go get some fuel, when he go back he started dumping the fuel into the forklift. I happened to walk outside and noticed that he was on the wrong side of the forklift!!! (the fuel tank is on the other side he was dumping fuel into the hydraulic tank) After asking why he didn’t read the labels on the tanks he mentioned that he had never seen a dipstick on a fuel tank before and thought it was strange. We called the service center and they told us not to run the forklift with fuel in the hydraulic oil it was going to be the next day before we could get the tank drained so we had to drive another forklift from our other site 15 miles away

You drove a forklift 15 miles?

[grizzzly]

Originally Posted by MiteyF

You drove a forklift 15 miles?

It is a nice drive

[troidus]

Originally Posted by grizzzly

After asking why he didn’t read the labels on the tanks he mentioned that he had never seen a dipstick on a fuel tank before and thought it was strange.

There are a lot of guys who never learned how to read who are very good at hiding it. I once had a supervisor who made a point of having any prospective new hires write something on the application in his presence, just to make sure they knew how. He'd apparently been burned before.

[kamanya]

Out local forum had this post once....

Do not drink and wash your pig at the same time....or ...Oh God what have I done


Senario .....Its a Monday night ....Its been a rough day..... a couple o mates stop by ....a few beers are drunk, followed by a few bottles of wine, and some good conversation. The mates leave cause its getting late and you just know its time to wash your pig....22.30 ....Im a sick person.
Of course there is no light outside and the missus has gone to bed ....so you haul out your washing bucket and give the old girl a good sponging down. ....Ahhh that looks good ....not that you can see a farking thing. Right some good old Dash just to keep the plastic looking good ....yip .....thats better ......but hey wait ....that dosnt look right ......FARK ....its a can of RED SPRAY PAINT.....how the Fark did that get in the bucket !!!!

Yes ...its just happened ....Ive just sprayed my Pig red. .....Im going to bed now ...and when I wake up in the morning this will all be just a bad dream....Good Night.

After pages of asking for the pictures and no responce....

OK ....OK ...so Im awake, got a massive hangover and a sandpaper mouth

Walked outside ...and no ..it was not a bad dream...I now have a blushing pig Seems I started with the clocks then did all the black bits ....thank God the paint ran out when it did.

Pics to follow after I,ve had 10 cups of coffee.......

Finally....

OK ....OK ....OK Im back...Ive been frantically scrubbing away at the mess. The pics from last night didnt come out ....but here is what she looks like now after a whole day of swearing and scrubbing ....

Note to myself

Stay away from Red Wine
Stay away from Red Wine
Stay away from Red Wine
Stay away from Red Wine

Ladies and Gentlemen.........I give you .........THE PINK PIG

[viajero]

Originally Posted by MiteyF

You drove a forklift 15 miles?

I've done a lot more than that when I was tasked with installing transformers for the City of Austin Electric Dept. Rear steering is a bitch, too

[Pugsley/Hobbfather]

...it gets worse the faster you go...rather than being more stable.

No story, just some narrowly avoided problems on a narrow bridge.

[jasiebol]

when rebuilding a -32 hydrlic hose with reuseable fittings make sure you put the sleve on before you hammer down the fingers on the fitting so you dont have to start over

[ioan]

When riding your trusty C90 down the dual carriageway, if you happen to look down and think 'that's odd, I don't remember that bolt sticking out that much before'...

DO: Push the swing arm bolt back in and hold it there with your foot until you reach the nearest DIY shop, take the bolt out (very carefully), leaving your bike balancing in the car park while you run around test fitting bolts in the shop. Re-assemble and continue.

[JimVonBaden]

Never plug in a tire pump without making sure the on/off button is in the off position! ESPECIALLY if it is one with a built in Slime canister!



Jim