Stupid questions people ask you when stopped

[VozProto]

Had a post-worthy comment from my boss the other day.
Note: I don't like my boss and I am quite certain he knows it.

He comes to the door of my office trying to make small talk and asks, "So, did you ride your motorcycle today?"


photo (2) by r6dink, on Flickr

[Fast FOG]

So. Did you?

[crazydrummerdude]

I think the "is it fast" question is not necessarily a non-rider thing, it's just a moron thing.

I think I told the story about the former coworker who saw my airhead and first thing he said was, "I guess that's cool." I wasn't trying to impress him or anyone for that matter. He later asked, "Is it fast?" "Uh, yup." I didn't bother explaining that it's nearly 40 years old with 120k miles on it.

A couple months ago, I saw him as I was driving my clapped out 1985 318i with different colored body panels and dry-rotted tires, that smokes like a 2-stroke. First thing he asks, "Is it fast?" "Uh, yup."

[High Country Herb]

Originally Posted by eepeqez

I'd never encountered this concept that I should crash my motorcycle to avoid a crash until I read about it in this forum; it seems to be a uniquely American thing, just as the non riding American public seems to think that motorcycles come in not more than 3 flavours and sometimes less:
Harleys (proper motorcycles for proper Americans)
Crotchrockets (racing bikes for young hooligans)
Trail bikes (minibikes which got bigger, for playing in the woods, but never for transport)

Which makes me wonder about it's origins. (ALERT My tongue is firmly in my cheek) I wonder if it is part of the same phenomenon, that it is simply because in the eyes of the American public, motorcycles are Harleys and Harleys are prone to falling over if the rider attempts to stop or change course abruptly?

My first encounter with the concept was the television show "Chips", where Ponch laid down his police bike. Even my 10 year old mind could not make sense of it. Not that I had a better solution, but I knew it wouldn't work on my bicycle.

[VozProto]

Originally Posted by Fast FOG

So. Did you?

[High Country Herb]

Originally Posted by Fast FOG

So. Did you?

No, he brings it in the truck each day, and unloads it in the parking lot so he can keep an eye on it while working...here's your sign.

[LoneTraveler]

Originally Posted by RxZ

I try explaining to people that my ex500 is quick, not fast. That befuddles most. All they see is a bright green Kawasaki that looks like a sport bike, so it must be capable of 200 MPH! In reality, I don't know if it would do much over 100, and I have never been over about 85 on it.

I had one of these, a '93. The fastest I ever got it, according to my GPS, was 106mph and it just would not go any faster.

Might prove useful should you find yourself being chased by someone on a KLR or something...

[Vulfy]

Today's gem, as I'm unzipping my leather oversuit.

"Are you Batman?"

[Bogfarth]

I'm sitting on the bike down at the community college, fishing my gloves up from the depths of my courier's bag. These two kids do their worst gangsta-limp over to where I'm parked. They're both white, maybe 18, with clothes that are five sizes too big and still graced with tags. His buddy only has the top button of his flannel done up, and Dockers fit for a 400 lbs-er barely clinging to his legs. The first kid's hat was on sideways with some giant, gold sticker still on the (flat as a board) bill. Kid #1 asks...

"Izzat like uhh Vulcan 1800?"
"Nope, she's a V-Star 650 "
"Damn yo, a 6-fiddy? So does this, like, wheelie an shit?"
Me:
His buddy leaned over to eyeball the speedo and said, "Shit, yo. This only do, like, 120. Issa girls bike."

They both clambered into mom's van a moment later when she pulled up and honked. Complete with Elton John's Rocket Man playing so loud, you could hear it clearly over the Diesel Tech guys doing a run-up. Wonder which degree those kids are going for?

**

A guy about thirty comes up just as I drop my visor and get ready to split from campus. He looked like an accountant, and yelled over the bike, through my helmet and earplugs.

"Damn nice Harley, man! What model is it?"
I flipped the lid up and yell, "It's a 650 V-Star."
"..."
"Ya know, a Yamaha?"
" don't lie to me, man! That's a fuckin' Harley, asshole! You're so stoopid you don't even kn...!"

I slammed the lid shut and took off. Yep, he's a college student.

**

The best was a little old lady, probably pushing 80. I'm guessing the woman driving was her daughter. They'd parked two (empty) spaces over from me at Wally World. I was gearing up on the bike as they pulled in. This older lady, thin as a rail, got out of the car's passenger seat real easy. She looked up, spotted my Star, and stopped in her tracks. After a second, she did slow shuffle up to the bike's left side and gave my 650 a long look. Then she shuffled around the other side. All the while, she's got this smile that's part magic and part wonder on her face. I sat there on the bike with the stand up, my neon bucket in my hands. After about a minute of giving my bike lover's eyes, she shuffled up beside me. She leaned over, put a feather-light hand on my shoulder and said in the voice of a Georgia Peach, all classy and soft, "Hunny, if I was a mite younger, I'd jump right on this beauty of yours and we'd start some real trouble together."

Puts a grin on my face every time I remember her!

[WVhillbilly]

The last one makes up for a bunch of non riding ass clowns calling a 6 fiddy a girls bike.

[pretbek]

Originally Posted by WVhillbilly

The last one makes up for a bunch of non riding ass clowns calling a 6 fiddy a girls bike.

Is OK, they will grow up (yeah right) to become men (yeah right) who call a twelf hunnert (Sportster) a girls bike.

[NordieBoy]

Originally Posted by WVhillbilly

The last one makes up for a bunch of non riding ass clowns calling a 6 fiddy a girls bike.

Well it was a v-star.

Easy mistake to make.

[WVhillbilly]

Originally Posted by pretbek

Is OK, they will grow up (yeah right) to become men (yeah right) who call a twelf hunnert (Sportster) a girls bike.

But then they would be correct

[Ragin Rabbi]

Fulton County PA Gas station, filled it up (station is a full-service but I did it anyway) two "attendants" standing there, skinny guy asks;

S.G. "What's that under the guard on the side"

Me "What part"?

I then start pointing at various bits. Finally.

S.G. "Yeah, that"

Me "Its the cylinder head"

S.G. "Dude, did you make it? I've never seen that before".

Somedays I fear for the nation.

BMW 1150.

[BK.RD.RNR]

Originally Posted by Bogfarth

"Hunny, if I was a mite younger, I'd jump right on this beauty of yours and we'd start some real trouble together."

Puts a grin on my face every time I remember her!