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Old 11-15-2013, 12:38 PM   #7291
planemanx15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paebr332 View Post
I speak jive. Allow me translate:

"During the previous seven-day period I was enjoying a pleasure ride upon my DRZ400 Supermoto. After one-eighth of a day frolicking upon unpaved pathways, I was in need of fuel in order to continue with my enjoyment. I withdrew to a refueling establishment whereupon I removed my protective headgear. The good gentlemen who was assisting the patrons in refueling their internal combustion machines exclaimed "Hark, you are of the fair gender." "Quite so Good Sir," I rejoined with some slight unpleasant tone of voice. Next he asked me the rather impertinent question: "You ride a motorized cycle?" to which I replied with an icy look of disdain. After a not too brief interlude he inquired if I was in need of petroleum distillates for my trusty machine.

The inanity of this question struck me odd, and I informed the benighted attendant that I, though of the fair sex, was more than capable of refueling my own stead. I further exclaimed "You are more than welcome to go assist another individual who may require your services." His final inquiry, which I found most annoying (perhaps the fatigue of my riding had shortened my temper) was a desire to know the maximum velocity my contraption could attain. I now determined that I would have no more consort with this fool, doffed my headgear and left in search of an alternative fueling entrepot."

You're welcome.
This post wins.
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Old 11-15-2013, 01:10 PM   #7292
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In a favorite Mexican restaurant an elderly couple I've seen in there often was in the booth across from me. Hadn't spoken with them before.

The husband looks over and says to me, "I almost bought a motorcycle once."

I say, "Oh yeah?"

He says, "Yes, when I was a teenager I wanted a car and my folks wouldn't get me one, so, I found a used motorcycle for sale and told my mom I was going to buy it." pause for effect "She bought me a car the next day."

I say, "That's funny, 'cuz my first car WAS a motorcycle when I was fifteen. Been riding them for almost four decades now."

Ended with smiles all around.
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Old 11-15-2013, 01:12 PM   #7293
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Paebr332 - I say, jolly good show.
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Old 11-15-2013, 01:14 PM   #7294
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paebr332 View Post
I speak jive. Allow me translate:
Bravo!
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Old 11-15-2013, 02:32 PM   #7295
sieg
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Originally Posted by psychopompos View Post
English please.
What ya mean, thought we got bonus points for bad spelling and grammar here at advrdr?
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Old 11-15-2013, 03:19 PM   #7296
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Originally Posted by sieg View Post
What ya mean, thought we got bonus points for bad spelling and grammar here at advrdr?
Oops, sorry, I'm a bit of a noob here. Though I'd like to think that without my comment we wouldn't have got that masterpiece from Paebr332.
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Old 11-15-2013, 03:25 PM   #7297
Chad_NC
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Not everyone is an English major. Give the person a break, you get the idea that the guy was confused that a female was riding a dual sport bike and willing to get dirty then smell like gasoline. He was just dumb.


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Old 11-15-2013, 03:30 PM   #7298
Sun Ray
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paebr332 View Post
I speak jive. Allow me translate:

"During the previous seven-day period I was enjoying a pleasure ride upon my DRZ400 Supermoto. After one-eighth of a day frolicking upon unpaved pathways, I was in need of fuel in order to continue with my enjoyment. I withdrew to a refueling establishment whereupon I removed my protective headgear. The good gentlemen who was assisting the patrons in refueling their internal combustion machines exclaimed "Hark, you are of the fair gender." "Quite so Good Sir," I rejoined with some slight unpleasant tone of voice. Next he asked me the rather impertinent question: "You ride a motorized cycle?" to which I replied with an icy look of disdain. After a not too brief interlude he inquired if I was in need of petroleum distillates for my trusty machine.

The inanity of this question struck me odd, and I informed the benighted attendant that I, though of the fair sex, was more than capable of refueling my own stead. I further exclaimed "You are more than welcome to go assist another individual who may require your services." His final inquiry, which I found most annoying (perhaps the fatigue of my riding had shortened my temper) was a desire to know the maximum velocity my contraption could attain. I now determined that I would have no more consort with this fool, doffed my headgear and left in search of an alternative fueling entrepot."

You're welcome.
Fucking gold! Nice job.
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Old 11-15-2013, 04:09 PM   #7299
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Wicked Shakesperean translation of jive

This is great fun, but for the record, in case some impressionable soul reads and thinks this is the gold standard for English, I hereby observe that one fuels her "steed" rather than stead, and "dons" rather than doffs her headpiece upon leaving. Use of "entrepot" is perhaps ok, but typically refers to a place to export/import goods. With our increased self reliance upon oil products, perhaps another term, such as supply commissary, would be more appropriate.
Now, can you write cursive?
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Old 11-15-2013, 04:17 PM   #7300
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Or should that be "write in cursive"?
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Old 11-15-2013, 04:38 PM   #7301
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Originally Posted by anselmo View Post
Or should that be "write in cursive"?
Good point. I caught those mistakes, not the "entrepôt" one, and sadly, I speak french. But it was quite funny and made me laugh.
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Old 11-15-2013, 05:50 PM   #7302
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I got one a couple weeks back in my Jeep that stopped me for a second..

Drive up to the window at the local taco shop,

Girl at window, "Why don't you have doors? Isn't that dangerous?"
Me: Depends on what hits me..
Girl at window, "I'd be scared to ride in that without doors.
Me: Well your way too young for me anyway..
Girl: Jaw drops holding out my order.
Me: Take order and drive away before I get my first dirty old man arrest..

Girl-17 ish hottie
Me 50 year old delinquent.. My 16 yr old Daughter says I haven't grown up yet..


So its not unique to motorcycles, its anything that smacks of nonconformity..

Dave
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Old 11-15-2013, 06:19 PM   #7303
Reduxalicious
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pdxmotorhead View Post
I got one a couple weeks back in my Jeep that stopped me for a second..

Drive up to the window at the local taco shop,

Girl at window, "Why don't you have doors? Isn't that dangerous?"
Me: Depends on what hits me..
Girl at window, "I'd be scared to ride in that without doors.
Me: Well your way too young for me anyway..
Girl: Jaw drops holding out my order.
Me: Take order and drive away before I get my first dirty old man arrest..

Girl-17 ish hottie
Me 50 year old delinquent.. My 16 yr old Daughter says I haven't grown up yet..


So its not unique to motorcycles, its anything that smacks of nonconformity..

Dave

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Old 11-15-2013, 06:26 PM   #7304
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Old 11-15-2013, 06:39 PM   #7305
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Weird People in the Middle of Nowhere

I was maybe an hour outside Rochester NY years ago and I'm eating Wendy's in the parking lot next to my bike.

A weird guy is next to me with a car full of crap, looks like fishing gear, newspapers, clothes, and mostly garbage.He has a massive gut and his shirt only covers the top half of his potbelly. Hasn't shaved in days, I was hearing banjos.

Anyway, after rummaging around he looks around at his surroundings, walks over to me and says

Him - "Hey, you're the only one wearing a watch!"

Me - "Yeah...uhhh, it's 6:30"

Him - "That's just like me, haha....fat gut and no fishing pole!"

I suppose it made sense in his mind, I just send yeah I guess and kept eating.
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