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View Results: I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...
Nice? 29 13.18%
Nasty? 30 13.64%
Nasty but nice? 161 73.18%
Voters: 220. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-09-2011, 08:08 AM   #2116
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Laugh Troo

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Old 11-09-2011, 08:40 AM   #2117
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still with ya!
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Old 11-09-2011, 02:24 PM   #2118
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Quote:
Originally Posted by planktonnn View Post
PJCR12 test rides the DMW...
Well now, that's what I call heightism at its worst.....shame on you planktonnn!!!

But seriously, folks; it can be hard getting a bike to fit properly if you are a tall,
godlike person over 6'5". I've always modified my airheads with homemade
rearsets and extra-thick seats so as to make them a comfortable ride (and also
to enhance my godlike perfection) as they are quite a small-framed motorcycle.
The best bike that suited my size was a Honda NX650 (Dominator), although the
R1100 RS Oilhead I had was quite a comfy ride.
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Old 11-09-2011, 02:29 PM   #2119
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Me on a bike........
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Old 11-09-2011, 07:41 PM   #2120
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Originally Posted by pjcr12 View Post
Well now, that's what I call heightism at its worst.....shame on you planktonnn!!!
Quite right my dear fellow, I unreservedly apologise for any insult perceived or felt. I fully recognise that heightism is an issue that people face in their everyday life, and the reference could be viewed as crass. Still though, as a form of well deserved self flagellative punishmentalasticism I will imagine myself taking a test drive in a single molecule car*, which will make me seem very big (but not at all clever). I'm not really making this any better am I. Then, to balance the universe quotient of un-attenuated insultationism, I will bring to your attention the following court report from our un-esteemed local rag:

'Everard Dick, 45, of XXXXXXXX Rd, Nailsbury. On January 25th drove a motor vehicle along XXXXXX Rd at the junction with XXXXXXXX Road Nailsbury without due care and attention. Pleaded not guilty. Verdict - found guilty. Fined with costs 755. Licence endorsed with 4 penalty points.'

Yes, it's true, his brother Michael was a good friend of mine and they lived round the corner when I was growing up. Everard was/is a tough little bugger, but then you'd have to be wouldn't you?, so all respect to him, unless his careless driving was anything like the tosser who pulled out in front of me today, in which case phukkim

Quote:
Originally Posted by trophymoto View Post
still with ya!


* I'm digging this hole waaaaaaaayyyyyy deeper aren't I? Sorry.

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planktonnn screwed with this post 11-10-2011 at 10:56 AM Reason: * not **
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Old 11-11-2011, 06:44 AM   #2121
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Arf arf
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Old 11-11-2011, 07:57 AM   #2122
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Arf arf
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Old 11-11-2011, 08:33 AM   #2123
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Alex Zanardi, a truly inspirational man
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:43 AM   #2124
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once a racer...all ways a racer!
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Old 11-12-2011, 04:30 AM   #2125
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trophymoto View Post
once a racer...all ways a racer!
Alex Zanardi - Strong in the lower formulae, unfulfilled in a patchy F1 career (pt1) with low grade teams, 3 wins & 5 poles in his '96 rookie CART season (including pole at his 2nd race), and 3rd in the championship that year (equal 2nd on points but 3rd on countback). CART series champion for the '97 & '98 seasons with 12 wins and a vibrant, daring and exhilarating style which saw some quite wonderful overtakes (presaged by 'The Pass' * on Herta at the corkscrew on the last lap of the last race of '96). Arguably the instigator of the celebratory donut, a disappointing return to F1 (pt2) with a slow & unreliable Williams which saw him dropped at the end of the year**, spent 2000 on gardening leave polishing the wood on his boat, and then a somewhat flat return return to CART in '01 with Mo Nunn.

The events at the CART round at Lausitzring in Germany on September 15th '01 were quite shocking, with Alex having his best run of the year and, after a late pit stop from the lead, spinning on the exit of pit lane into the path of Alex Tagliani who was travelling at something in excess of 200mph. I shall avoid the tasteless inclusion of a video link, but I think we can all agree that to survive such a crash was almost miraculous. The following week I attended the 1st Rockingham CART race here in the UK, and while track deficiencies cancelled running on the two practice days I got to spend a lot of time in the pits, and it was clear the entire field, drivers, team staff & officials were utterly devastated at Alex's crash & sincerely concerned for his survival.

But he's done so much more than survive, and while Zanardis career & spirit were deeply inspirational prior to the crash, it's his demeanour & tenacity since that really seals his place in my heart. Who can fail to be humbled by his quite astounding personality and his resilience & fortitude in his recovery, his return to racing*** in the the European/World Touring Car Championship****, and subsequent test in an adapted BMW F1 car at Valencia, and on an adapted BMW Oilhead HP2 Sport at Monza (pictured below). Furthermore, he has taken on the marathon, winning the wheelchair division in Venice '09 & Rome '10, and now we see him forge a new career as a handcyclist, with a recent victory in the New York marathon (pictured in my previous post), and he now aims of represent Italy in the 2012 Paralympics.

Let's face it, I just whine, he fucking lives.


* The prototype for the Rossi/Stoner pass in MOTOGP some years later?
** Opening the door for a young J. Button.
*** Including completing the remaining 13 laps he missed at Lausitz with a best of 193 mph lap average which would have seen him 5th on the grid...
**** 4 wins including his first on 24th August '05.
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planktonnn screwed with this post 11-12-2011 at 07:38 AM Reason: editing of course...
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Old 11-12-2011, 05:28 AM   #2126
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Thumbs down Ha ha hacking, not fucking funny...

Dear Y'all,

You might recall that some time ago, around a month maybe?*, I posted an oblique reference to my suspicion that my account here had been accessed by another party, and that my profile details had been changed, which seemed to indicate to me that someone (and it is clear who) had recovered a password, active session of login from their machine (or something similar) and used it to start drunkenly messing with me. I emailed Baldy etc. at the time to raise my concerns, and changed my password immediately I knew something was awry.

It's now been kindly brought to my attention that an offensive message was sent** to one on my friends here, and it seems that whoever tampered with my profile info may have gone farther. For this reason, I unreservedly apologise for anything that was posted or messaged in my name, and will happily nuke any relevant posts if they are brought to my attention. I'm happy to take responsibility for offensive remarks I myself have made, but if some problem with someone once in my life has impacted on anyone else I apologise.

Please feel free to bring anything to my attention via a message to me here on Adv.

* Edit - Somewhere just before or around the 4th Oct? I noticed my profile info was changed but thought it was part of a site update or similar, so changed it back, then noticed it was changed again, and emailed site admin & changed password, and re-altered profile info. I can't see any erroneous comments that were made under my ID, but if you know of any please let me know. I'm quite happy to be a cnut under my own steam, but will address anything that wasn't me.
** And seemingly deleted from my sent items, so if you've had something & I've no idea please let me know.
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planktonnn screwed with this post 11-12-2011 at 07:16 AM Reason: additional explanatory references...
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Old 11-12-2011, 08:41 PM   #2127
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On Friday, in my innocence, I thought it might be a good idea to get around to swapping out my worn rear tyre/ire, especially now that the centre tread was worn down to an improvised slick* with the centre groove just about distinguishable. Now, not only does this give P.C. Gonemad the opportunity to exercise their Judge Dredd like powers of on the spot fining, but now that the weather’s closing in a bit, and every van driving git & their bus driving interbred cousin is sloshing diesel all over the Queens highway, and in addition to this we’ve had a frantic spell of road resurfacing round these parts just so the Cunty Cuncil looks like it’s doing something** and the shit they stick down weeps slimy slippery ooze for six months every time it gets wet, I find I'm sliding all over the place, so the time had come...

So come 9AM I thought it was OK to start work in the car park, dropping spanners & cursing without upsetting too many people. I got the bike up on the two cheap paddock stands I’ve got, and set about getting the rear wheel out. This all went well enough so I let the air out, walked around the bead to pop it down into the rim well, lubricated it with a little improvised tyre soap (oil) and set about trying to get the 1st bead off with the tire/yre levers I recently picked up at the pound shop. The levers were OK but predictably flexible for the cost, but if I used them in a certain way they did the job, and off came the 1st side. Out came the tube (it’s a spoked wheel) and all seemed well, though there was a section of the tube that appeared to have creased in on itself the last time the tire/yre was changed. It was sort of marked with lines as though it had been folded over somehow. Still, so far so good.

The second bead was a pain to get off, quite literally, because whilst trying to prise the wheel out from the tire/yre I used my hand to try & flip it off, and the levers popped out and left my hand firmly trapped between the rim & the bead. Not just trapped, but crushed. Now, similar to when the back end of a CX500 collapsed on my hand and ensnared me, I was standing in the middle of a car park with a wheel grappling my fingers from my hand like a round mouthed crocodilian. Did I scream? Only internally. Instead I slowly thought to myself ‘I need to get this sorted', so I crept across the workspace (parking bay) and pumped oil onto my fingers, then tried to ease them out one by one. The little & ring fingers co-operated after a bit of wincing, but the index & whatever the next one is called just wouldn’t come out, so I adopted a ridiculous stance and tried to stand on the tyre/ire & wrench the wheel with my other hand until there was just about enough of a gap to allow me digital freedom. I didn’t cry, but I did sit down & give myself a bit of a break. Just as I will now...

To be cont.


* I was always amused by the version I heard (via Nigel Roebuck) of Mario Andrettis explanation of how the use of slick tyre/ires came about. If I recall correctly he said that at one race (maybe Watkins Glen?) the tyre/ire guys turned up straight from the production plant with a prototype of a new compound they were sure would be a great step forward. The tyre/ires were produced without a tread pattern, which was then cut in my hand. So, anxious to get going they stuck a set on the car for a quick run before cutting the tread pattern into them between sessions, and sure enough they were very fast. Then, having hand cut a standard pattern they were apparently thinking 'Wow, imagine how fast they'll be now', only to find the cut tyre/ires were now substantially slower, and so it seems the slick tire/yre was born... Mario has always been a good source for an anecdote, and I'd so like to think this is really what happened because I love that whole 'better by mistake' thing
** Folk hereabouts are very simple (as in ‘fucking stupid’), and love to moan about three things – a) dog shit on the paths, b) overgrowing garden hedges on the paths & c) potholes, though to be fair there are some real shockers around these days.


Pictured - Mario, filling in, in what is probably by favourite Ferrari, the 126C2, at Monza in '82
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:23 AM   #2128
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Ah planktonnn, planktonnn.....that must have hurt like fuck. 10/10 though on doing a tyre change manually in a car park.
As I mentioned in a recent email, that rear tyre I let you have out of the goodness of my heart is a magical tyre. I know you know this (as I've already told you) but the hundreds of thousands of ADVer's who peruse this thread don't know this, so I thought I'd mention it as I was here......what you don't know is, that when you come to change it, in a couple of thousand miles or so, it will magically change itself, so long as you say the magic words and perform the magic movements. These are very simple, and are as follows (must be done in carpark, ok?)

a) lower your trousers
b) shout out - "TYRE, CHANGE YOURSELF NOW!!"

Keep on shouting out (b) as loudly as possible, until something happens....

Hope this helps, and I hope your crushed fingers don't hurt too much.

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Old 11-13-2011, 02:05 PM   #2129
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Ok....the problem with having multiple personalities is that you can find yourself disagreeing
with yourself, especially after taking your evening pill. When I suggested that planktonnn should
drop his trousers in a car park and shout commands at his rear tyre (even if it has a nice 'gentleman's
tread' pattern) I obviously didn't mean to be taken seriously. Obviously he doesn't have to drop
his trousers if he doesn't want to, ok? I just thought I'd better mention that to clear up any
misunderstanding that might ensue.
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:39 PM   #2130
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Thumb I'm tyred, oh so tired.

It’s quite true to say I’d not mentioned that the fact I was able to change my rear tire/yre at all was down to the gross magnanimity of Pjcr12, as he was kind enough to donate one to the cause. I’m totally fucked for money, and without his kindness I’d be off the road. Thank you :-) I’d waited a while to fit it because I was trying to get as much out of the old one as possible; because I wasn’t looking forward to the task; but most of all because I had indeed been standing in the car park with my trousers down repeatedly shouting ‘tyre/ire change thyself!?!’. Bad news, it doesn’t work… So, where was I? Er, right, having got the old one off & had a bit of a sit down, I embarked on getting the new one on.

I applied a tiny bit of improvised tire/yre soap (oil) to the rim & the beads of the tyre/ire, not a lot, but just enough to very slightly ease the progress, and got the first bead on, having checked for direction arrows, but there were none, and as the tread pattern is uniform & seemingly omnidirectional it did seem to make sense that there was no specific indication of the way it should face. The tube went back in, with just a little air in it as is usual, and then I carefully eased the other bead on and felt overly satisfied with myself, for which I was naturally about to suffer. With most tyre/ires I have to leave it only lightly inflated to get it thru the gap between the left bottom shock mounting bolt and the brake shoes, so this I did. However with the profile of this one it went in quite easily anyway, so I got it in and proceeded to stick the axle thru & tighten it up, along with the left pinch bolt. So far, so not-gone-wrong, but now that it came to the point where one would normally inflate the tire/yre, it gradually became clear as I pumped away that either my foot-pump was buggered or I had an inner tube problem - the bloody thing just wouldn’t go up. It seemed to hold a little air, but once it got above a few psi it wouldn’t go any further. Some time later, just to make sure it wasn’t the pump giving up the ghost I started the bike up & walked it across the road to a commercial vehicle workshop that’s based there and begged use of an air line. The guy there was most accommodating & we had a lovely chat about boxers and what’s where etc., but unfortunately, despite all my pleasantries the tube just wouldn’t hold air for more than a minute, so after concluding our chat he was kind enough to fill the tube up while I sat there with the bike running, and I pootled back across the road back to my parking bay workshop before it was entirely flat again.

So now I had to take the bloody wheel out again and get the tube back out and work out what the furk was going on. I’d been very careful not to pinch the tube with the levers, and I’m glad to say that it seems that this is not what had happened. In part 01 I mentioned a strange fold mark on the tube, and after close examination I found, sitting there right in the valley of the fold mark, a small 2mm split/slit. I sealed this with my finger and ran the tube thru a bucket of water discovering there was no leak anywhere else, so unlikely as it seems, it appears the fold in the tube in the previous installation had somehow sealed the little slit and allowed the tube to stay inflated, but this time round it didn’t self seal. How unlikely is that?, but it really seems as if this is the case. So now I was left in the position whereby all the money I saved by not having someone else swap the tire/yre over was going to have to go on a new tube, GRRRRRRRRR!?! I don’t have a puncture repair kit, or one of those pressurised mousse canisters, and I don’t entirely trust either repair method as a long term solution anyway, so off I begrudgingly walked to the nearest motorbike shop to get a new inner tube. It’s run by a former British Super Bike Privateers Cup champion, and two time winner of the BSB supporting KTM series, one for the Superduke I think, and the other for whatever the KTM superbike is called, which I can’t recall, and am far too lazy to find out. Lovely bloke, at least every time I’ve met him, and they’ve always been very helpful there, and, as if by magic, his name’s Dave!?! You see, we’re right, all motorbike mechanics ARE called Dave. The workshop is about 350 metres as the crow flies, but by the time you’ve taken the ‘not trespassing & climbing over 3 fences/publicly accessible’ route it ends up being at least a half mile walk, which obviously added to the exponentially increasing GRRRRRRRRR quotient, which was already quite high due to the previously mentioned finger trapping etc.

On getting there I begged them to tell me they had a suitable size in stock or I’d be forced to go to the other nearest bike shop, which is about as far from ‘home’, but in the other direction, and has always been an generally accepted as an incredibly painful place to visit, and mostly everyone I know avoids a visit whenever they can. Fair enough, some people like it there, but I always find they make me feel as though I’m intruding, and are barely able to conceal their contempt for anyone as mechanically inept as I. Luckily the shop I was in had one tube of the correct size left on the shelf, so I was saved a visit to the other shop. I reluctantly parted with what little cash I had left for the week, and stumbled my tired way back to the car park, mighty mightily pissed off to a mighty degree. Again I got the tube in, and worked the second bead back on being uber careful not to pinch the new tube, as that would be just my fucking luck/standard level of incompetence. I pumped it up a bit with my severely aching legs and it seemed to hold air, and then rode down to the aforementioned workshop to beg use of the air line once more, as by this point I could barely stand due to leg ache, let alone pump it all the way up by foot, especially when you think that I wanted to over inflate it at speed to make sure the tire/yre seated evenly on the rim rather than going on wonky and leaving me with a built in slalom style feel to the back end. I sat down for a ciggie just to see if the thing went soft, and then pulled on my helmet and zoomed off for my by now completely customary 100mph+ test ride. Fuck it, if it’s going to fail then let it do it straight away, test the bloody thing to destruction, I don’t give a fuck. I certainly didn’t by this point.

So I’ve been running the tyre/ire for three days now, and all is fine. The profile is a little square by design and I’ve had it right out to the edge and it then falls off the side of the tread and tries to low-side you, but it’s good once you’ve got used to that, and all in all, Pjcr12s kind donation has kept me on the road, so I’m very grateful.

Will I attempt the job again?

Yes.


Will I repeat the same mistakes?

Indubitably!?!


Pictured - Me at the conclusion of this troublesome task...
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planktonnn screwed with this post 11-14-2011 at 03:12 AM Reason: pic upload fault
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