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View Results: I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...
Nice? 29 13.74%
Nasty? 27 12.80%
Nasty but nice? 155 73.46%
Voters: 211. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-15-2011, 03:21 PM   #2131
rightsideup
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Jimmy Cauty - KLF, Athena etc.

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Old 11-15-2011, 06:42 PM   #2132
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Old 11-16-2011, 08:37 AM   #2133
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Pissed Short essays on ignorant observations… Pt02

I can see no way forward, no means to progress my circumstance in the direction of any form of meaningful human life, and it seems to me that this is for a series of reasons, some more of which here follow:

2) I have inherited nothing but the family trade of gross stupidity & innate crassness. Where one might reasonably expect to have been given a good start by ones parents, I can thank them for nothing but the manufacture of my dilemma: the very things that form my ‘Catch 23’. Everything that is, has to have been produced by some antecedent set of conditions, therefore I am naught but a deposit of faulty desires and drives; of defective chemical processes and reactions; of broken causations and erroneous effects - a ‘damaged will’ through which all reality is mediated towards what seems to be inescapable failure.

We know that all things aspire to be nurtured: all animals try to live, plants seek to grow, yet I have been denied both light & air to allow such growth, and the earth within which I sought to thrive was deeply contaminated; this beast was denied even the most basic care. And so the ‘I’ thus produced follows from this infected ground by necessity.

When what are generally referred to as my ‘parental units’ expire, I very much doubt that I will hear of it. I certainly have no desire to attend farcical & sham funereal proceedings, but if and when I do find out I will cheerfully set out on a pilgrimage to piss all over their graves. I want nothing of their paltry estates, and will indeed entirely refuse to engage in any of the practicalities of their corporeal disposal. I would of course prefer to have a much more dispassionate sense with reference to all this, but I don’t. It would of course be healthy to forgive & forget, or “If you can’t forgive & forget then how's this, forget forgiving and just accept then that's it” – but even this is not achievable. I not only have very close to nothing to thank them for, but moreover I have innumerable causes for affirmative detestation of them & theirs, and all that they have made of me through their genetic curse and defective nurturing. An example of this is that I stopped attending school age thirteen, and for three years they didn’t notice. Now, I can take responsibility for my part in this, but one might perhaps argue I was the child in this situation, and that surely a responsible involved adult would have noticed the lack of reports, homework or parents evenings etc. I know (hope) that I would, but my makers were too engrossed in their self obsession to note what was happening to me. It would no doubt be better if I were able to leave go of these obstructive feelings, but this has not proved possible, and I have not been capable of discovering this more peaceable position.

Our hearts continue to beat, our lungs will attempt to persist in breathing, and all without us directing them to do so. This therefore has been termed the ‘will to life’. But can we ever know what causes one person to succumb to the cold sea subsequent to a shipwreck, against what causes another to survive? The will to life. Now, when totally immersing myself in the concentrated interior scrutiny of a piece of audio which I am dissecting & observing, I often find my lungs will forget to breathe, that my heart forgets to beat, and after a while I catch myself in this stasis and reluctantly gasp life back into myself, though I can see no reason why I should. But when my intellect so desires to end this painful life, why does my body independently desire to maintain my presence here? We are bound to look for meaning in life, however illusory, but we must recognise that in due course life is meaningless, beyond a series of absurd autonomic neurochemical responses over which we have no sway, and that we are doomed to suffer because if we take a cold hard look at the universe, in the end our existence is little but hollow and futile. Still we continue. But why?

2 b cont.
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Old 11-16-2011, 11:06 AM   #2134
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If the "other" shop is street machine, its gone.

Mike surman is still going tho but he's not called dave................. I think his boy is tho

I cant remember as was last there in 1999 and i've slept since then.

Oh and the firestorm has running problems, the "blue" one wont start when its cold, the cafe has a dead battery and my heater dont work in my car.

I got the luck of "Dermot" at the mo

Oh and the pink corsa a accidently bought is a piece of shite

Happy days
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Old 11-16-2011, 11:30 AM   #2135
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If the "other" shop is street machine, its gone. Mike surman is still going tho but he's not called dave................. I think his boy is tho. I cant remember as was last there in 1999 and i've slept since then. Oh and the firestorm has running problems, the "blue" one wont start when its cold, the cafe has a dead battery and my heater dont work in my car. I got the luck of "Dermot" at the mo. Oh and the pink corsa a accidently bought is a piece of shite. Happy days
Happy days indeed It was Spermanz I was referring to, as St Machine is now, if I recall correctly, a block of flats? They're probably a lot nicer at Sermans now Micks retired, and the old boy wasn't that bad, but if you weren't on his 'like' list it just felt like he was a bit of a snob, and it seemed as though asking him a question about his stock was an inconvenience. All respect to him for keeping going for so long though. It's just not a shop I go out of my way to visit unless I have to, though to be fair the last time I did go there was with a flat and they did give me a hand changing it when they didn't have to. I suspect that any problems I had with Mick were because I insisted on calling him Dave, even though he constantly reminded me it was Mick, but then I also spent the year 2000 saying 'minellium' on purpose...

What's up with the Firestorm? Is it just feeling ganged up on by all the boxers you have? Maybe you should just give it to me? Re the Blue One, I generally find unhappy carbs don't help cold starting? Set fire to the Corsa & park the Blue One next to it just to get a bit of heat into it?

Jog on
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Old 11-17-2011, 04:15 AM   #2136
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Optimistic opportunistic optimised onanism......the OOOO factor
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:02 AM   #2137
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No No No Pjcr12

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Old 11-17-2011, 07:29 PM   #2138
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Hmmmm


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWiIYW_fBfY

I'm thinking of 4.30 or so onwards... and particularly 6.55 on, leading to - 'Only an alert & knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial & military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods & goals, so that security & liberty may prosper together.' Now forgive me, I know little of DDE or his politics, but...
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:05 PM   #2139
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No No No DBD

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Old 11-17-2011, 10:13 PM   #2140
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Optimistic opportunistic optimised onanism......the OOOO factor
Er, the open bracket space full stop space capital y space full stop space close bracket factor .... ( . Y . )
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Old 11-18-2011, 04:20 AM   #2141
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Er, the open bracket space full stop space capital y space full stop space close bracket factor .... ( . Y . )
So....is that a pair of large ladies front-lumps or a pimply arse? I think we should be told so as to maintain the purity and effectiveness of our communicatory postings.
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Old 11-18-2011, 04:28 AM   #2142
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So....is that a pair of large ladies front-lumps or a pimply arse? I think we should be told so as to maintain the purity and effectiveness of our communicatory postings.
The latter, with incredibly symmetrical spottage. I dare not even enter the term pimply ass into goggle to produce an accompanying pic-a-ture, for fear of what foul imagery may arise...
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:29 AM   #2143
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German police seek bike-hating bend boobytrapper!?!

German Police are appealing for information leading to the arrest of a bike-hating boobytrapper who's been lacing bends with oil and gravel.

There's been a spate of what are thought to be deliberate oil spills at critical points on popular biking routes, with one rider being fatally injured as a result, says Motorrad.

The latest incident involves thick gravel strips strategically placed across both carriageways in three corners. It comes just a fortnight after it emerged several riders had been hurt after riding into barbed wire strung at chest height across trails in a German forest.
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Old 11-19-2011, 12:38 PM   #2144
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Thumbs down

Hmmmmm, either a slight short in the electrical system which gradualy drains the battery, or a furcked battery, either way what a pain in the ass... Motorworks - Exide 30 amp/hr ELA59652 @ £58.20 + deilvery - GRRRRRRRRR
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Old 11-20-2011, 11:57 PM   #2145
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Thumbs down Q: How may mods does it take to invalidate your insurance?

There's a story doing the rounds that Bennetts bike insurance now require you to explicitly declare modifications (nothing unusual there), but it seems that anything over 3 modifications & cover is declined and you're out; or that failure to declare to the 'Nth degree' will be deemed to render the policy void. Nothing unusual in the basic premise but... here's a list I was sent of what I'm told Bennetts are classing as mods -
  • Air filter changes
  • Bar ends
  • Badge changes
  • Belly pans
  • De-restricted
  • Blueprint
  • Braided hoses
  • Brake system modified
  • Carbon fibre parts
  • Carb change
  • Different screen
  • Chrome accessory
  • Crash bars
  • Chromed engine
  • Crash bobbins
  • Decals or stickers
  • Dyno jet kit
  • End cans
  • Engine crash casings or engine casings
  • Engine tuning
  • Brake enhancement
  • Exhaust
  • Exhaust ( road legal up to £300)
  • 4 into 1 exhausts
  • Fairing removal
  • Extended forks
  • Bags/ panniers/ luggage
  • Fairing removal
  • Fork braces
  • Fork springs
  • Filter changes
  • Specially built frame
  • Grips
  • Grippers
  • Heated grips
  • Handlebars
  • Headlights/bulbs
  • Indicators
  • Induction kit
  • Huggers
  • Mirrors
  • Special paintwork and murals
  • Nitrous
  • R&g protection
  • Non standard seat
  • Racing colours/ paintwork
  • Power commander
  • Radiator bars/ protection
  • Power commander
  • Sat Nav
  • Reborn
  • Scot oilers
  • Seat cowl
  • Seat replacement
  • Wheels
  • Single seat
  • Sissy bars
  • Steering changes e.g steering dampers
  • Street fighters
  • Tank pads
  • Suspension changes
  • Sissy bars
  • Shock absorbers
  • Tyres changed
Tell me, how many mods do you have? (and I don't mean two tone suit wearing, frighting in Brighton, parka laden multi-mirrored Vespa riding fucktards chained up in the basement )

On a broad interpretation I count 32 for the DMW.

So might I suggest that when you buy a 2nd hand bike, do make sure to get a signed indemnity from the seller stating it's almost entirely to factory spec so you can can sue them when your insurance doesn't pay out - Seems as though Bennetts are moving out of bike insurance doesn't it?, and, I wonder, would they insure the three bikes they just gave away in a competition?


Pictured - a nice day in the park...
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