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View Results: I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...
Nice? 29 13.18%
Nasty? 30 13.64%
Nasty but nice? 161 73.18%
Voters: 220. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-03-2011, 05:32 PM   #1246
Lornce
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I love this thread.


(when i can be bothered to actually read it).




Here's me aulde mate Oddbawl. He'd enjoy this thread too, but he's no time for nonsense anymore.




Whoops. Beg pardon. Didn't realise it was so huge.
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Old 01-04-2011, 05:57 AM   #1247
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Have resized your pic for my available bandwidth.
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Old 01-04-2011, 07:45 AM   #1248
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The race is on.....

Glad to see planktonnn's back in the game, hobbled though he is by being constrained technology-wise....also Lornce, that was one huge pic but your buddy is obviously a man of some substance, going by that crazy helmet. Next time you see him, tell him he has entered the Martha Farquar Hall of Fame.

Anyway, it's 1.30pm, and very early in the day for me..I don't usually post until late at night when I manage to dredge up enough 'personality', aided and abetted by some form of stimulant, to be able to collect my thoughts and express what might be termed 'a point of view'. However, I've just had a deep insight brought about by my first strong cup of coffee and my first hand-rolled fag* of the day. This is it:

The Race of 2011.

As we all know, this thread is completely and utterly fruit-looped at the best of times, although it does, from time to time, have 'proper' postings about sensible airhead topics and information when the mood strikes. Be that as it may...I'm a few months off having a bike to post about, so I've decided to introduce a competitive element into the proceedings, based upon viewing figures. For some bizarre reason, which still baffles me, this thread is getting very close to 60,000 views, which got me thinking about other threads that have high viewing figures. I'm not counting those threads that are purely 'pic-based', like 'girl on an old motorcycle' started by chiefrider (one million views) or 'post your airhead pics' by a_k_nicholls (350,000+ views) among others. Now, don't get me wrong, these threads are damn fine, but I'm thinking mainly about ones such as datchew's 'Today is going to be a good day....' with a healthy 25,000 views, and the awesome 'Dickin' around in Doug's garage...' with a whopping 137,000+ views, which is almost Olympian ( the guy scares off alligators, for fucks sake, with a Harley) not to mention infracaninophile's thread (79,000) or YZman's '69 BSA bobber project' with 56,000+ views, all of which are excellent, but in the spirit of friendly competition, I want to grind their asses into the dust.....

So, here's the deal. Starting now, and lasting until new year 2012, the race is on to see who can win the highest viewing figures in the old's cool section. Obviously, I've already despatched a hit team to take out rtwdoug, infracaninophile, anonny, blaine.hale, datchew and anyone else who might threaten the supremacy of this thread....it's a no-holds-barred kind of thing, utilising any text'n'image based form of erudition and mechanico-philosophical exegesis, in order to stand at the top of the pile, 12 months from now. I know it's just a 'big-swinging-dick' kind of thing, but hey, I'd win that as well. Naturally, it means that the Martha Farquar Global Corporation is going to have to get it's arse in gear, it's ducks in line, and it's collective mind up and running, but at least it'll give us something to live for in this sorry, fucked-up thing we call a life.
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Old 01-04-2011, 09:03 AM   #1249
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Cool2 The race is over

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Originally Posted by pjcr12 View Post
my first hand-rolled fag* of the day.
No doubt pjcr1972 was going to give some spurious explanation of fag = cigarette but that's just a front. He ought to frankly admit he actually spends most days dressed as whats-er-name (Sybil) from the MFM office, in a little booth selling tickets to tourists to watch him manipulating ('hand-rolling') a fully featured wax model of our dear old beloved Stately Homo Quentin Crisp. Hey, everybody has to make a living. Attached below is a pic of the typical punter reaction.

For my own taste the only number I pay attention to is the total votes on the poll. Three more to go and I can nuke this whole thread
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Old 01-04-2011, 09:14 AM   #1250
Lornce
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:21 AM   #1251
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Step away from that Nuke button....

Why yes, junior member of Martha Farquar International...I had forgotten to qualify my asterix regarding rolling a fag* so thanks for appending that timely cigarette-based clearing up. I note your point about nuking the thread if you got another 3 votes...I immediately tried to vote three times, so as to challenge your threat, but the system wouldn't let me due to some hogwash about already having voted. Damn these fucking computers, it's almost as if they had some form of artificial intelligence, or something. After all, they're only typewriters with huge memories, when all's said and done. As you know, I have myself nuked a highly-viewed thread in the past, because of a mild mental bout of vengeful paranoidal psychosis, is that what afflicts you at this juncture, or are you just havin' a larf? Obviously, you own the fucking thing, but think of this: I will run you over with my little red van, if you do. I've done it before, and I'll do it again, if you deprive these poor Americans of what must be the only bright spot in their pursuit of happiness (copyright). Obviously (2), even having said that, I would also defend your right to act in any way you see fit, that's how inconsistent and arbitrary I am. I'd start a whole new thread, called something like 'Insert clever airhead-based title here, (mk2)' just for the hell of it and still win the old's cool viewing figure race of 2011 so, think on lad, as we used to say up in the Northern Wastelands of this septic isle. And while I think of it, what makes you think Sybil is my alter ego? She's real, and here's a photograph to prove it. Also, without this thread, where would that crazy cat Lornce post his 'Italian Spiderman' clips? Eh?
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pjcr12 screwed with this post 01-04-2011 at 10:31 AM Reason: Just because I can
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Old 01-04-2011, 03:51 PM   #1252
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Cool2 Belt up

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Originally Posted by pjcr12 View Post
junior member of Martha Farquar International...
He with the smallest boat rows loudest, or something like that. I always saw the mission of MFM to be to fight the eternal struggle of man to be put above man, or woman, or other self defined gender identity* It makes me sad to see you entwined in this struggle to enforce your self as the senior partner, whatever happened to the blitz spirit?**

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I note your point about nuking the thread if you got another 3 votes...
1 to go – then BOOOOOM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12 View Post
As you know, I have myself nuked a highly-viewed thread in the past, because of a mild mental bout of vengeful paranoidal psychosis, is that what afflicts you at this juncture, or are you just havin' a larf?
Well I don’t notice myself larfinging much, but as far as you having borked the earlier thread, I thought it was a company tradition.

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I will run you over with my little red van, if you do. I've done it before, and I'll do it again
I sort of think of that less a case of you running me over & more of me thinking I could stop a moving vehicle all King Cnut stylee***

Hey ho.



* I say this last category not least because I know Sybil used to be called Reg.
** "Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings, for there is none worthy of the name..."
*** I took the trouble to put the link in just to show that Cnut is indeed the original and not simply me referring to cnuts of the pointy headed variety. You see now we’re having fun AND learning.


PS. Forget all that shit. Feast your eyes on ‘The Belt Dog’ (further info half way down this page @ Motohistory)
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Old 01-05-2011, 06:55 AM   #1253
pjcr12
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Belt up?.......Moi?!

Hear that? That's the sound of silence............................
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Old 01-05-2011, 09:58 AM   #1254
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I won't say D**e anymore

Please don't nuke it. I promise not to call you Dude anymore. At least as far as you know. If you nuke it they will have to up my dosages and thats gonna cost more money. Also, I ride alone and don't know anybody else that will tolerate my stupid questions.
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Old 01-05-2011, 10:06 AM   #1255
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Quote:
Originally Posted by planktonnn View Post
He with the smallest boat rows loudest, or something like that. I always saw the mission of MFM to be to fight the eternal struggle of man to be put above man, or woman, or other self defined gender identity* It makes me sad to see you entwined in this struggle to enforce your self as the senior partner, whatever happened to the blitz spirit?**

1 to go – then BOOOOOM

Well I don’t notice myself larfinging much, but as far as you having borked the earlier thread, I thought it was a company tradition.

I sort of think of that less a case of you running me over & more of me thinking I could stop a moving vehicle all King Cnut stylee***

Hey ho.



* I say this last category not least because I know Sybil used to be called Reg.
** "Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings, for there is none worthy of the name..."
*** I took the trouble to put the link in just to show that Cnut is indeed the original and not simply me referring to cnuts of the pointy headed variety. You see now we’re having fun AND learning.

PS. Forget all that shit. Feast your eyes on ‘The Belt Dog’ (further info half way down this page @ Motohistory)
I would think that it would be hell on wheels making sure that set up wasn't going to chew some valves. Those are some pretty long timing chains.
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Old 01-05-2011, 10:21 AM   #1256
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Laugh

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Hear that? That's the sound of silence............................
Just a 'Humorous' reference to belt drive pic dear brother pjcr1939-45inclusive. Geddit? Belt drive, belt up. Ha. Ha ha. Cough.

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I would think that it would be hell on wheels making sure that set up wasn't going to chew some valves.
I guess different piston crowns & lower+longer lift valves? As well as a racing application which means lots of men to stroke it lovingly + the might of Krauser behind it, as well as a regular (300 mile) changing of the belts no doubt. I just think it's beautiful what poeple can do.

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Please don't nuke it. I promise not to call you Dude anymore. At least as far as you know. If you nuke it they will have to up my dosages and thats gonna cost more money. Also, I ride alone and don't know anybody else that will tolerate my stupid questions.
Also I'm less dude & more dud.
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Old 01-05-2011, 10:29 AM   #1257
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Today our Decree Absolute arrived, which shows that I've been divorced since 20th Dec. It's not what I wanted at all, but Rudi, my wife of 14 years (15 on Jan 10th), couldn't cope with my depressive health and has done what she felt was best for her & our 3 kids*, and I can't blame her for that. I can blame me instead.


* Aged 1x13 + duozygotic twins of 11, one of whom is undiagnosed Dyspraxic and the other has Aspergers Syndrome. All genetic faults present in my filthy lineage.
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planktonnn screwed with this post 01-05-2011 at 10:50 AM Reason: To + an '*'
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:44 AM   #1258
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Sorry to hear that planktonnn... Chin up and all that
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Old 01-05-2011, 12:29 PM   #1259
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Chin up and all that
Yes, that way the axeman can get a clean strike....
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:00 PM   #1260
Bloo
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I am sorry to hear about the divorce Planktonnn. Watching you guys talk bikes and trading barbs now and again is one of the highlights of my day. I wish there was something I could say to lessen the load a little for you. The only thing I can think of is to tell you a joke my first grade teacher told me when I was 7.

A guy walks into a bar carrying a little black box under his arm. He puts the box on the bar and orders a beer. After 6 beers the bartender gets curious about the box and asks the guy, "what's in the box?" The guy with the box snaps his fingers and says, "Play".

Immediately a little 16 inch tall man wearing a tuxedo pushes up a door from inside the top of the box. He throws a proportionately small piano out of the box onto the bar and a bench. He then jumps out and Plays "Rhapsody on a Theme". When the little man finishes, he throws the piano and the bench back into the box. The little man then jumps back into the box as well and closes the lid after him.

The bartender, amazed, asks, "where the hell did you get that?" The guy with the box then tells the bartender that he found an old bottle on the beach and uncorked it. A Genie came out of the bottle and, being that she was very grateful, told the guy he could have one wish.

The Bartender at this point says, " Holy shit man you were granted one wish and you wished for a 16 inch pianist!?" The guy with the box responded, " Ya, thats what the genie thought I asked for too." (end of joke)

I still do not get the joke now that I am 43 so, if you get it, please explain it to me. Also, I am sure you are all thoroughly pissed for having to read such a long joke for such little pay off so I will stay quiet for a few weeks.
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