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View Results: I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...
Nice? 29 13.18%
Nasty? 30 13.64%
Nasty but nice? 161 73.18%
Voters: 220. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-22-2011, 03:28 PM   #1456
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Tyre size for u planktonnn
Thankyou kindly good sir
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Old 01-23-2011, 05:07 AM   #1457
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I use 10-40 semi as it only costs 15 for 5 litres from unipart ;-)
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Old 01-23-2011, 06:14 AM   #1458
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Castrol 20w-50.

Castrol 20w-50.....A short story.

It was the olden days, somewhere around 1973, and the day dawned bright and lovely. I had breakfasted upon the three elements of happiness, namely tea, toast and marijuana and set about servicing my kid brother's BSA A7. Being the proud owner of an A10 myself, I was up to speed on most aspects of the Birmingham Small Arms twins, and fettled it according to the time honoured principles, and was just about to change the oil when I realised I didn't have any.

In those days, it was standard practice to eschew such trifles as insurance, road tax and MOT's, especially when riding other people's motorcycles, and so I set forth, somewhat synaptically-adjusted and mood-altered, on the beezer, to score a gallon of Duckhams* finest. The ride was excellent, the sun was shining, and the wind was in my hair. I made it without incident to my friend Dave's motorcycle shop and, after purchasing a large tin of lubricant, I tarried a while in amiable conversation. We may, or may not, have smoked a small reefer between us, my memory is hazy, but in any case I stuffed the gallon tin of oil into my jacket and set off.

A mile from my house, and riding at pace, I noticed with horror a car driver suddenly pulling out from a side street. As everything went into slo-mo, I frantically tried to take avoiding action, but the car driver (looking anywhere but in my direction) connected with a sickening crunch into my left side, sending me flying. Several things happened at once at this point.
The car driver tried to escape, but was thwarted by another car driver who, having witnessed the crash, drove up behind him to block him off. I lay on the ground, covered in what I assumed was a copious amount of blood. The massive adrenalin rush, catalysed by the hash, caused me to be consumed by a murderous fury; I had an overwhelming need to hit the car driver repeatedly and, with this in mind, attempted to stand up, but each time I tried it, I kept falling down. Suddenly, from nowhere, a plain clothes copper arrived on the scene, and told me in no uncertain terms to lay on the ground as, apparently, I had a broken leg. He said he knew this to be the case, as my leg was bent in the wrong direction.

Whilst the copper was 'processing' the car driver, a sudden dread overtook me as I lay on the ground. In addition to my belief that I was bleeding to death, I realised that not only was I riding illegally and under the influence of herbs, I had upon my person a sample of said substance....at that moment, the sound of an ambulance siren calmed my nerves. Quick as a flash, I was on a stretcher and in the back of the paramedic van. For some inexplicable reason, I felt no pain but was concerned about the blood loss.
As we drove off to the hospital, I asked the ambulance man about it. He told me I was covered in oil....

The tin of Duckham's 20w-50 had cushioned the blow from the car, and the impact had burst the tin, inside my jacket, sending a gush of warm, sticky fluid all over me. I laughed hysterically in relief and, later at the hospital, submitted myself to a plaster-casting performed by a pretty nurse.

Later that same day, I rode the bike back. This was possible due to the fact that the BSA had a right-side gear change, and a very effective front brake. As a result of the crash, the car driver's insurance paid out the hefty sum of 500 which, in those far-off days, was an awful lot of cash. I used it up, over a three-month period, on playing poker and a steady supply of smoking mixture.

Obviously, now being a mature and law-abiding citizen, I only recount this tale in order that the underlying moral should be evident to all concerned**. I only mention it due to the fact that Lornce's reference to Castrol 20w-50 jogged my memory, and took me back in time, to when life was great, herbs were relatively cheap, and British bikes were ten-a-penny. I may, at others times and in other threads, have recounted this story, but this is the definitive account.

*Duckham's used to come in yellow and blue gallon cans, and was the oil of choice for the discerning mechanic. Castrol is ok, but not the same.
**There are several morals to be learnt from this. The main one, of course, is to keep an eagle eye out at all times for car drivers executing turns without looking.
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Old 01-23-2011, 12:16 PM   #1459
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It was the olden days, somewhere around 1973
Aww, I was only nine.

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Obviously, now being a mature and law-abiding citizen


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...keep an eagle eye out at all times for car drivers executing turns without looking
I had one pull out on me a little while back. I reacted in plenty of time (edit: because the STD1 is std it makes me ride very sensibly indeed oh yes*) but as he was looking the other way he didn't spot me until I stopped in an orderly fashion with my front wheel just gently resting on his door.


* Note to edit. I had Arsetrail on the back the other day, I'm not sure he enjoyed it, and I had to tell him I had indicators so stop with the hand signals already!?!
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Old 01-23-2011, 12:51 PM   #1460
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I am only writing this because otherwise it tells me my reply is too short to post...


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Old 01-23-2011, 02:18 PM   #1461
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What a Buzz!?!

I know it's old but...


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Old 01-23-2011, 02:40 PM   #1462
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Slightly more relevant...

A turbo BMW S1000RR with a claimed 381bhp at the rear wheel for 35k... further info @ MCN
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Old 01-23-2011, 02:52 PM   #1463
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A turbo BMW S1000RR with a claimed 381bhp at the rear wheel for 35k... further info @ MCN

Yeah as if it doesnt have enough bhp already...........

Any more than 108 bhp is a waste
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Old 01-23-2011, 02:58 PM   #1464
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108?


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Old 01-23-2011, 03:01 PM   #1465
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108?


What's the std bhp on a Firestorm, I'm guessing?
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Old 01-23-2011, 03:02 PM   #1466
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Ahhh.
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Old 01-23-2011, 03:21 PM   #1467
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Yeah as if it doesnt have enough bhp already........... Any more than 108 bhp is a waste
I know, I know but such lunacy should act as an inspiration to we poor modifiers, proving that somewhere up there amongst the clouds there are people who really know how to do shit, looking down on us like the Olympian Gods in Ray Harryhausen flicks.
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Old 01-23-2011, 03:30 PM   #1468
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Ahhh.
Just guessing. Could be anything, it might be that he can only count to 108?, due to the special gasses what they does release on estates like the one what he lives on and no mistake, who knows what the bastards would do to keep us down?

"In 2009, Japanese researchers at Oita University reported that low levels of naturally-occurring lithium in drinking water supplies reduced suicide rates.[8] A previous report had found similar data in the American state of Texas.[9] In response, psychiatrist Peter Kramer raised the hypothetical possibility of adding lithium to drinking water.[10] Bioethicist Jacob Appel lent moral support to the possibility shortly thereafter, arguing that "One person's right to drink lithium-free water is no greater than another's right to drink lithium-enhanced water."[11]"

See? Who knows why it's 108?!?
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Old 01-23-2011, 03:47 PM   #1469
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New Dredd Movie Lawmaster

From Daily Blam -
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Old 01-23-2011, 11:47 PM   #1470
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What's the std bhp on a Firestorm, I'm guessing?
Your right. I was going to put 60bhp as in the r100 but didnt want to upset the firestorm. its bad enough when i keep using the r100 and leave it leaning on the firestorm when i get home. Its going to throw a paddy soon
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