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Old 09-08-2010, 03:46 AM   #196
burgerking
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Vern
Note: The new Triumph Tiger 800 DS is more hardcore than Chuck Norris.
well that is saying nothing...he got his arse well and truely kicked by Bruce Lee

we need a better comparison
Arnie in his old days
Stallone....nah
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:52 AM   #197
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Clint Eastwood or Charles Bronson, those 2 are hardcore.
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Old 09-08-2010, 06:05 AM   #198
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randy couture?

gotta either be him or tex cobb for sure.
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Old 09-08-2010, 08:02 AM   #199
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I have heard, from my friend who travels regularly to/from the future, that the new Triumph 800 DS actually produces more energy than it consumes.

Take THAT, Chuck Norris!
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Old 09-08-2010, 08:59 AM   #200
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Triumph baffled - cause found

Hinkley, England
8 Septemper 2010

Yesterday, officials at Triumph Motor Company announced that predicted pre-orders for the new Triumph Tiger 800 DS fell woefully short of benchmarks, and that the entire production line may be scrapped before even one these hardcore bikes hits the tarmac.

Puggsley Smythe-Gallingstone, CFO, made the following statement, "At first we thought the problem might be a departure from tradition, or perhaps the new Triumph Tiger 800 too closely mimicked motorcycles from other marques such as BMW."

Upon this announcement Triumph marketing staff launched a full investigation and found what they feel may be the cause of the disappointing number of pre-orders, and the following announcement was made early morning today by Waddingtonne Bruce-Almighty, CMO.

"Ladies and gentlemen, after consierable investigation it appears that, in a bit of irony, the new Triumph Tiger 800 DS is so hardcore that riders of all stripes are frightened of its potential, and do not feel they are worthy to own it."

He added, "It appears that news has leaked that all test riders who have experinced the bike have suffered from palsy, nervous breakdowns, autism, or have gone right barmy from experiencing more fright than the human system can stand"

His voice faltering, Bruce-Almighty was led away from the podium and officials refused further questions.
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Old 09-08-2010, 09:13 AM   #201
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bumblebee1
Examples please.
First off, Chuck is a poof.

Second is this picture:



This line drawing is an actual representation of the Triumph 800 DS when the cloaking device is activated.

Chuck Norris does not have a cloaking device because he sucks, and the Triumph 800 DS does not.

Any other questions?
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Old 09-08-2010, 09:25 AM   #202
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Vern
Hinkley, England
8 Septemper 2010

Yesterday, officials at Triumph Motor Company announced that predicted pre-orders for the new Triumph Tiger 800 DS fell woefully short of benchmarks, and that the entire production line may be scrapped before even one these hardcore bikes hits the tarmac.

Puggsley Smythe-Gallingstone, CFO, made the following statement, "At first we thought the problem might be a departure from tradition, or perhaps the new Triumph Tiger 800 too closely mimicked motorcycles from other marques such as BMW."

Upon this announcement Triumph marketing staff launched a full investigation and found what they feel may be the cause of the disappointing number of pre-orders, and the following announcement was made early morning today by Waddingtonne Bruce-Almighty, CMO.

"Ladies and gentlemen, after consierable investigation it appears that, in a bit of irony, the new Triumph Tiger 800 DS is so hardcore that riders of all stripes are frightened of its potential, and do not feel they are worthy to own it."

He added, "It appears that news has leaked that all test riders who have experinced the bike have suffered from palsy, nervous breakdowns, autism, or have gone right barmy from experiencing more fright than the human system can stand"

His voice faltering, Bruce-Almighty was led away from the podium and officials refused further questions.
"Bruce-Almighty was led away from the podium and officials refused further questions".


Bloody hell!
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:27 AM   #203
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I don't think we have posted this picture enough. Look upon it and know fear. Know in your very bones that you, your family, and indeed the entire human race will soon be under the sway of our Tiger 800 overlords. Theirs is the terrabit ECU will which will shape the world. Surrender or be cast aside like the noble mastadon.

Here is the picture again.

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Old 09-08-2010, 10:31 AM   #204
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Which picture?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RockyMtnRoadRash


I don't think we have posted this picture enough. Look upon it and know fear. Know in your very bones that you, your family, and indeed the entire human race will soon be under the sway of our Tiger 800 overlords. Theirs is the terrabit ECU will which will shape the world. Surrender or be cast aside like the noble mastadon.

Here is the picture again.

This picture?

advent1

Or this picture?

advent2
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:35 AM   #205
Mista Vern
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ag_streak
What picture?



This picture?



Is that thingy between the exhaust pipes an atomic cannon?
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:42 AM   #206
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look - its so awesome that it doesn't even need a chain to reach warp speeds.
(or is it invisible anti-gravity material to cut down on rotating mass?)

(Rear sprocket is retained to show that there's no final drive to go FUBAR)

Disclaimer: all of the above is pure speculation
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:44 AM   #207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Vern
Is that thingy between the exhaust pipes an atomic cannon?
Hello!?!?!?!

Only an idiot would not recognize the Photon Torpedo.

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Old 09-08-2010, 11:16 AM   #208
Mista Vern
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Originally Posted by Mista Vern
Is that thingy between the exhaust pipes an atomic cannon?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DireWolf
Hello!?!?!?!

Only an idiot would not recognize the Photon Torpedo.

And only an idiot would not recognize that it was a trick question.




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Old 09-08-2010, 11:50 AM   #209
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How did I stumble upon a Star Trek convention? (buncha friggin nerds)
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:36 PM   #210
Mista Vern
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BMR
How did I stumble upon a Star Trek convention? (buncha friggin nerds)
I am neither a nerd nor a Trekkie, but I do occasionally have problems with Klingons.
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