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Old 10-06-2010, 06:42 AM   #451
Heyload
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K1W1
I believe that Saint Bloor has been in contact with the Prophet Jobs and that the two of them have decided that the iTiger 800 will only function correctly if it is connected overnight to iTunes. Owners will will required to regularly update their iTiger Off Road or iTiger Touring app for optimal performance. The iTiger Communting and iTiger Pretender apps will be region encoded and only available in Metro Sydney, Los Angeles and Burndi (the last for a limited period during the filming of "i'm doing this ride for the money so I can get another perfume commercial contract".
Bastards!

Oh well, at least he didn't contact Gates. Going with Jobs was a good play, as that means The Tiger won't crash all the time.
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Old 10-06-2010, 09:07 AM   #452
Mista Vern
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K1W1
I believe that Saint Bloor has been in contact with the Prophet Jobs and that the two of them have decided that the iTiger 800 will only function correctly if it is connected overnight to iTunes. Owners will will required to regularly update their iTiger Off Road or iTiger Touring app for optimal performance. The iTiger Communting and iTiger Pretender apps will be region encoded and only available in Metro Sydney, Los Angeles and Burndi (the last for a limited period during the filming of "i'm doing this ride for the money so I can get another perfume commercial contract".

Does this mean Triumph Tiger 800 DS owners will have to act superior to all other human beings, wear Birkenstocks and "Che" T-shirts, carry Kindles, and drink very effeminate coffee mixes?
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Old 10-06-2010, 09:13 AM   #453
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mista Vern
Does this mean Triumph Tiger 800 DS owners will have to act superior to all other human beings, wear Birkenstocks and "Che" T-shirts, carry Kindles, and drink very effeminate coffee mixes?
When something like the Tiger allows you to own it, then you won't have to act superior, you'll be superior to all other human beings. After all, they're not chosen ones.
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Old 10-06-2010, 10:08 AM   #454
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Triumph corporate has changed their collective mind, and decided to not release the new Tiger. Too much competition with the Tenere and poor economy. They have decided to just put one in a crate with holes in it and charge folks to look.
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Old 10-06-2010, 12:16 PM   #455
ganze
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TStorm
I don't know...I can't see anything as badass as the Tiger communicating itself as a gay unicorn.

Sounds to me like we have our first false prophet. What say the Book of Tiger of this?
hey, don't shoot the messenger.

just relaying what I heard from "the Big Ideas" podcast.

some unicorns are cool, I guess.
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Old 10-06-2010, 01:46 PM   #456
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ganze
hey, don't shoot the messenger.

just relaying what I heard from "the Big Ideas" podcast.

some unicorns are cool, I guess.
I'm not referring to you as the false prophet, I'm saying that a bike that tries to pass itself off as inspiration for the Tiger, yet is in reality a unicorn, has nothing to do with the Tiger at all, and is false. It's like saying that Chuck Norris learned all of his moves by staring at tulips.

Tulips have nothing to do with Chuck Norris, just like unicorns have nothing to do with the Tiger.







Maybe I should've said 'false idol' instead.
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Old 10-06-2010, 02:18 PM   #457
ganze
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TStorm
I'm not referring to you as the false prophet, I'm saying that a bike that tries to pass itself off as inspiration for the Tiger, yet is in reality a unicorn, has nothing to do with the Tiger at all, and is false. It's like saying that Chuck Norris learned all of his moves by staring at tulips.

Tulips have nothing to do with Chuck Norris, just like unicorns have nothing to do with the Tiger.

Maybe I should've said 'false idol' instead.
Sage observation. I think I might agree with you. The tiger is nothing like a unicorn. Nor is it anything like a tulip. I would also put bunnies and pee wee herman in the category of things that are not like the tiger. I think I found a new way of meditating on the greatness of the tiger: things that it is not like.

thank you for this new method of anticipation. the false idol was thwarted with true truth.
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Old 10-06-2010, 03:37 PM   #458
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ganze
Sage observation. I think I might agree with you. The tiger is nothing like a unicorn. Nor is it anything like a tulip. I would also put bunnies and pee wee herman in the category of things that are not like the tiger. I think I found a new way of meditating on the greatness of the tiger: things that it is not like.

thank you for this new method of anticipation. the false idol was thwarted with true truth.
You're welcome, for this is a thread of truth, and those here are viligent in the fight to keep that truth from falling into realm of ficticious deceit that the "other" threads have become.

May the Tiger's dual headlamps forever shine upon your road, and may the thunderous growl of It's 800cc engine frighten all that oppose you.
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Old 10-06-2010, 04:01 PM   #459
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and too you the odious odor of the smell of the tiger's exhaust, which according to the good book, shall actually scour the air of pollutants, shall accompany you on your multi-verse journeys with said tiger.


which is not at all like a male cheerleader
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Old 10-06-2010, 04:24 PM   #460
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Greetings! I am glad others have carried forth the work of the righteous while I was away for a bit - I think I had a either a bout of dengue fever or hantavirus, but I am fine now. It was the thought of the new Triumph Tiger 800 DS that made me pull though in such a hardcore fashion. Does its powers know no bounds? I think not.
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Old 10-06-2010, 08:45 PM   #461
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The power of The Tiger is limitless, infinite and all encompassing. It apparently has the power to remain unseen for another month, too.

But do not dispair, my brothers, for The Tiger shall come forth, and the faithful shall be rewarded!

Even now, visions of mana are revealed unto us! Accessories, apparel, glimpses of the awe-inspiring kit of The Tiger appease our longing and slake our thirst for more.

Now let us recite together, brothers;

"The Tiger is my bike,
I shall not want.
It taketh me to far places,
It maketh me to lay down serious miles.

It's seat and heated grips, they comfort me
The GPS shall not lead me astray,
But shall lead me to unexplored delights.

Give us this day our daily ride,
And forgive us our lack of mad skills
As we forgive those on lesser bikes.

Yea, though I ride through the blindspots
of SUV's and texting morons,
I shall fear no turnpike.

For thine is the power, the suspension and
finely tuned exhaust,
Forever and ever."

Ramen
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Old 10-06-2010, 09:13 PM   #462
SlipChip
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heyload
The power of The Tiger is limitless, infinite and all encompassing. It apparently has the power to remain unseen for another month, too.

But do not dispair, my brothers, for The Tiger shall come forth, and the faithful shall be rewarded!

Even now, visions of mana are revealed unto us! Accessories, apparel, glimpses of the awe-inspiring kit of The Tiger appease our longing and slake our thirst for more.

Now let us recite together, brothers;

"The Tiger is my bike,
I shall not want.
It taketh me to far places,
It maketh me to lay down serious miles.

It's seat and heated grips, they comfort me
The GPS shall not lead me astray,
But shall lead me to unexplored delights.

Give us this day our daily ride,
And forgive us our lack of mad skills
As we forgive those on lesser bikes.

Yea, though I ride through the blindspots
of SUV's and texting morons,
I shall fear no turnpike.

For thine is the power, the suspension and
finely tuned exhaust,
Forever and ever."

Ramen

Blessed Be!
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Old 10-06-2010, 11:34 PM   #463
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heyload
The power of The Tiger is limitless, infinite and all encompassing. It apparently has the power to remain unseen for another month, too.

But do not dispair, my brothers, for The Tiger shall come forth, and the faithful shall be rewarded!

Even now, visions of mana are revealed unto us! Accessories, apparel, glimpses of the awe-inspiring kit of The Tiger appease our longing and slake our thirst for more.

Now let us recite together, brothers;

"The Tiger is my bike,
I shall not want.
It taketh me to far places,
It maketh me to lay down serious miles.

It's seat and heated grips, they comfort me
The GPS shall not lead me astray,
But shall lead me to unexplored delights.

Give us this day our daily ride,
And forgive us our lack of mad skills
As we forgive those on lesser bikes.

Yea, though I ride through the blindspots
of SUV's and texting morons,
I shall fear no turnpike.

For thine is the power, the suspension and
finely tuned exhaust,
Forever and ever."

Ramen
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Old 10-06-2010, 11:36 PM   #464
Heyload
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WormShanks

Odd....that used to be my reaction in church, too.
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Old 10-07-2010, 02:22 AM   #465
K1W1
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Scoop!

Hot off the press!

I got this straight from the Triumph Adventure web site so it's true!

The Tiger 800's will have Triumph branded accessories available, 50 different ones in all. Accessories will include such things as... (wait for it)....


Hand guards
Heated grips
Touring screens
Luggage
Engine protection
.
.
.
and rugged off road styled clothing

This news just stunned me I hope that you were all sitting down when you read this message.
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