Coast to Coast (and back?) with an Italian Supermodel

[AntiHero]

Once the World War Z landscape of Detroit was behind me I was again surrounded by lush, manicured farms, blue skies and red barns off in the distance. I stopped to get some petrol, but instead found myself in the scene of an X-Files episode (will it ever end????).



It was the perfect setting for an alien abduction or the supernatural and mysterious death of your dear protagonist. I even tried performing the kind of innocuous tasks that provide filmmakers a perfect opportunity to both introduce the homicidal villain AND kill off an unsuspecting, hapless victim at the same time.

Such as pumping gas from an inoperable pump at an abandoned gas station:




("What could be wrong? I do not understand.")


Relieving a full bladder on the wall of a building:

(not pictured)



But even the one activity that never fails, failed. Yes, I'm talking about obliviously taking pictures that, upon inspection by the investigative detectives who arrive in the first scene, reveal no clues:





You know...the kind of pictures that towards the end of the episode reveal the true identify the perpetrator during the shocking penultimate scene:


Hey, what's Mulder doing in a bear costume?

But no matter how much I tempted fate with the kinds of activities that always lead to a crescendo of suspense and horror (I just wanted to hear that eerie and ever-so-mysterious X-Files theme song) Flukeman didn't emerge from primordial radioactive sludge via a manhole cover, nor did an argument between Darin Peter Oswald and myself lead to spontaneous human electrocution while a particularly awesome version of "Ring the Bells" not available on iTunes played in the background on a non-functioning radio.

[It'sNotTheBike]

This latest installment reminds me of something Hunter Thompson ( I am betting you know who he was ) said :



"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"




At this time I'd like to cast my vote for Noomi Rapace in the female lead role of the film ...



.

[Oldone]

That is one hot great bike! Sad to say I've never in my whole life been on one of those. They almost look like they're moving when they're standing still. Thanks for taking the time to do this awesome RR.....

Gary "Oldone"

Grampa’s Lake Superior Ride

Grampa’s National Monument Ride

[AntiHero]

At this point I'm happy to entertain theories on how I am able to entertain myself for so long in abandoned, people-less parking lots.

Feeling refreshed I headed across the street to a real gas station (boring!) got back on the highway, passing Woodstock on the way

Next stop: Border Crossing.

I've actually never done a border crossing before (airport customs doesn't count) and was looking forward to replacing the complicated idea of what it would be like with how simple and efficient it would be in REAL life.

Approaching the border looks just like a regular bridge toll crossing. I got up, paid, and was through! WTF? They didn't even ask for my passport. Way easier than I thought. And then a mile or so later I hit the REAL border crossing. It was slow going, with lots of Dead-Stop traffic. (Imagine a toll booth where everyone paid in pennies and dropped half of 'em on the ground in the process and you get the picture.)



Though I've always breezed through customs, the conversation at the border didn't go so well. Apparently "on my bike" isn't a confidence-builder to the question "where do you live?"; they do not like it when you bring weapons in and get seriously suspicious when you're not sure where you're going or how long you're staying. My 'Kwai Chang Caine' replies got me a yellow 'go straight to the principal's office' citation. Really? To get into Canada? Then again, Canada has a "Strategic Global Reserve" of Maple Syrup they have to protect. With this weeks maple syrup heist (not kidding), I can only imagine that future border crossings are going to get even more difficult--especially if your last name is Jemima!

Once inside their little 'detention center' there's a lot of waiting around and not much to do. What sucks is one minute you're excited about rolling into a new country and then the next you're going through a DMV like experience soaking up valuable time. I kept thinking--if they send me back, will I get a refund the toll they made me pay?



Once they ran a background check (I assume), they called number 66 (that was me) I got the same 20 questions, answered them the same way (not good to change stories during a second interrogation) and got the green light to enter. One of the first signs on their freeway? 50km over the speed limit = Roadside Vehicle Seizure. 90mph and they confiscate your vehicle for good? 5 over it is....

Anyhow, made it to Fort Erie, a sleepy Canadian town about 30min. south of Niagra Falls.

[AntiHero]

Not much to do in the town, which was exactly what I needed.

Drove around, took a few pics and, well, that's Fort Erie.










The gas station attendant did tell me that cops aren't permitted to chase motorcycles, btw....not sure if it's true or not and I'm not going to try to find out.

[AntiHero]

To break the litany of Fort Erie, I went into Buffalo, NY--which meant I had to cross the border again. I won't spend much time writing about Buffalo because there's not much to write about. Did have the best f'in Rueben I've ever had, though.





What? No "People Love us on Yelp" sticker? Must not be very good.

[AntiHero]

Originally Posted by It'sNotTheBike

This latest installment reminds me of something Hunter Thompson ( I am betting you know who he was ) said :

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"

At this time I'd like to cast my vote for Noomi Rapace in the female lead role of the film ...

.

Ha! Funny, I've gained a much fonder appreciation of Hunter Thompson while on this trip. So far there isn't a female lead role to play. I am tempted to add "unfortunately" to the end of that last sentence, but as soon as a woman gets involved, I'm guessing this R/R will have a rather lackluster ending....."settling down in Vermont, wife made me sell the Panigale and buy a minivan.....thanks for watching."

Oldone--get out to a Ducati dealer and take one for a ride! You only live once.....

[max384]

You bastard! It's 1:30am and I've got to be up early tomorrow morning. I had planned to get to bed two hours ago... But your story really sucked me in!

If you come through northeast Pennsylvania, I'll buy you a beer and show you some local roads to ride... and if you turn out not to be a complete weirdo, I've got a spare bedroom as well. Seriously though, if you're gonna be coming through, post up on here or pm me.

Having done a couple trips on sportbikes (though my SV650S is no Ducati, as far as ergos are concerned), I love that you're touring on a sport bike... and not just any sportbike, but a finicky Italian bitch! Kudos.

Your writing style is fantastic. I know it has already been said before, but it really does remind me of 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.' However, I found that he went a bit too far with his philosophical ramblings and didn't concentrate enough on the ride. I think you have done a far superior job to Mr. Pirsig (and no offense to him) in this regard. I love the philosophical input... But I'd much rather read a ride report with some philosophy thrown in than a philosophy lecture with some ride report thrown in. Excellent work. Seriously.

[AntiHero]

There might not be a lot going on in Fort Erie, ON. That is, until you pop a bag of some of this shit open:



But instead of livin' la vida loca in my room with a bag of pickled Doritos, I walked to a restaurant just a couple blocks away, past a quiet, neglected cemetery. The worst waitress in the world works there (at the restaurant, not the cemetery), but the fact that she was a creature straight out of a Tim Burton movie (really), more than made up for it.

This guy was a local.



He was reading, eating dinner alone and drinking wine. I felt sorry for him; then thought, "I hope that's not me in 30 years."

Then I realized, "That's not me in 30 years. That's me right now."

Cheers, dude.


I walked 'home' (not even noticing the cemetery), only to be examined by someone else who dies very much alone, surrounded by walls painted the same shade of yellow that appears in cheerful works of fiction such as Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment and Charlotte Perkins Gilman's The Yellow Wallpaper.



And then the circle of coincidences came back 'round full circle. The chair. The fucking chair.


Cheers, Vincent.

[AntiHero]

Originally Posted by max384

You bastard! It's 1:30am and I've got to be up early tomorrow morning. I had planned to get to bed two hours ago... But your story really sucked me in!

If you come through northeast Pennsylvania, I'll buy you a beer and show you some local roads to ride... and if you turn out not to be a complete weirdo, I've got a spare bedroom as well. Seriously though, if you're gonna be coming through, post up on here or pm me.

Having done a couple trips on sportbikes (though my SV650S is no Ducati, as far as ergos are concerned), I love that you're touring on a sport bike... and not just any sportbike, but a finicky Italian bitch! Kudos.

Your writing style is fantastic. I know it has already been said before, but it really does remind me of 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.' However, I found that he went a bit too far with his philosophical ramblings and didn't concentrate enough on the ride. I think you have done a far superior job to Mr. Pirsig (and no offense to him) in this regard. I love the philosophical input... But I'd much rather read a ride report with some philosophy thrown in than a philosophy lecture with some ride report thrown in. Excellent work. Seriously.

I'm freezing in a basement. It's 2:21am. And though I think I'm finally done editing my last post, with broiled eyes and a neck that keeps cracking due to, err, some past trauma and an ergonomic position over my laptop far worse than anything Ducati could conceive of, you have to go on and post a reply that makes me feel it's all worthwhile?

:)

[It'sNotTheBike]

Originally Posted by AntiHero

This guy was a local.

He was reading, eating dinner alone and drinking wine. I felt sorry for him; then thought, "I hope that's not me in 30 years."

Then I realized, "That's not me in 30 years. That's me right now: eating alone, drinking wine, reading." ]

Ahh, solitude. I ( a slow learner ) finally learned to cherish solitude; prior to that I suffered terribly over the years when
alone for extended periods. I am now certain the suffering existed solely because of my desire to not be alone. Buddhism
promotes the concept of extinguishing desire because desire is linked with suffering. Based on my experience I think this is
a sound strategy, and it dovetails nicely with what your sidewalk guru said right before you rode out of San Francisco ( "here, now", etc. ).



Do you know the story of the French sailor, Bernard Moitessier ? In the very first singlehanded nonstop round the world sailing race, he
was in contention for the win, which if achieved would have given him the sort of fame in France which Neil Armstrong had in the US. So what
does this guy Bernard do ? On the home stretch he reverses his course and sails to the other side of the world. Clearly
the dude enjoyed his time alone. His book "The Long Way" is well worth reading even if you aren't a sailor.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard...ound_the_world


.

[rico2072]

Still following this RR and loving it.
Keep up the good work!

So how many miles is the beast showing?
What is your impression of the bike so far?

[davesupreme]

like the bernard moitessier thing... the guy's winning the first 'vende globe' race, and instead of going back to france on the last leg, he throws a bottle to a freighter w/a note in it saying "fukk the race", and sails on to tahiti.... my freakin' hero....

i think we speak the same language dude.....

[lucati]

interesting report.

i put a fair amount of miles on my 1098 but nothing like you!

if you come to atlantic canada you will likely pass though my town, moncton new brunswick. if you do let me know. if i can help you with anything from showing you local roads, bike maintenance, where the duc dealer is, have a drink, what ever... i will

[eakins]

oh man you've been missing sooo many sweet roads.