ADVrider

Go Back   ADVrider > Riding > The perfect line and other riding myths
User Name
Password
Register Inmates Photos Site Rules Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-20-2012, 06:05 PM   #151
STUFF2C
We Ain't Left Yet!!
 
STUFF2C's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: O-lando
Oddometer: 2,234
My wife gives me her permission to do everything... that way I don't have to do it anyway
__________________
Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.
-- Charles Kuralt

I never plan a ride, just the destination and that's always subject to change.
STUFF2C is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2012, 06:25 PM   #152
DavidBanner
Banned
 
Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Planet earf.
Oddometer: 1,163
just remember...half of all marriages end up in divorce...and some subset of the other half SHOULD.
DavidBanner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2012, 06:27 PM   #153
DavidBanner
Banned
 
Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Planet earf.
Oddometer: 1,163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob.G View Post
This makes a lot of sense. And the current political state of affairs in the US is a perfect example. We have one side trying to create a culture of dependency, where everybody is reliant upon government, and the other side, that advocates self-sufficiency.

Rob
oh god...the welfare boogeyman? seriously?
DavidBanner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2012, 06:31 PM   #154
DavidBanner
Banned
 
Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Planet earf.
Oddometer: 1,163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco Stu View Post
I refuse to talk to any man wearing skinny jeans.
good thing you can't see inside my car at the drive-thru...else i'd go hungry.
DavidBanner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2012, 09:24 PM   #155
Yellow Pig
Allergic to Asphalt!
 
Yellow Pig's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Colorado
Oddometer: 6,817
The problem is that men marry women because they like who they are at the moment, while women marry men for who they believe they can become (read: make).
__________________
So Many Idiots, So Few Comets!!!!!!!!!
Yellow Pig is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 05:10 AM   #156
Jim Moore
Beastly Adventurer
 
Jim Moore's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Jax, FL
Oddometer: 12,384
Quote:
Originally Posted by DavidBanner View Post
good thing you can't see inside my car at the drive-thru...else i'd go hungry.
__________________
Jim Moore
Jax, FL

Pay the lady, PirateJohn, you thieving piece of garbage.
http://advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=949341
Jim Moore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 05:44 AM   #157
eddie bolted
BOING!!!
 
eddie bolted's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2009
Location: st. clair pa.
Oddometer: 2,972
Quote:
Originally Posted by DavidBanner View Post
oh god...the welfare boogeyman? seriously?
__________________
If it stops raining now, i'll be pissed!(BEANTOP)
eddie bolted is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 06:43 AM   #158
genespleen
Gnarly Adventurer
 
genespleen's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: mid-Missouri
Oddometer: 158
"Why are most men so emasculated?"

Two problems. First, that question contains what is in fact a quantitative assumption. We've yet to see evidence supporting it in any meaningful way.

Second: Inadequate definition of terms. The author has got to make the case that what he sees as "emasculation" isn't something else--say, thoughtfulness, partnership, willingness to compromise. (That is unless he wants to jettison those behaviors as in-and-of-themselves emasculized.) Failing that, all we've got is lazy thinking and lashing out.

Frankly, mostly what's on display is just a bunch of anecdotal whining from folks who are upset that some of their "fellow" men aren't behaving "properly." This seems somewhat defensive and insecure.
genespleen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 06:59 AM   #159
Ginger Beard
I have no soul
 
Ginger Beard's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Sunny Northern Cuba (aka: South Florida)
Oddometer: 5,983
Quote:
Originally Posted by alii1959 View Post
I disagree. My vows stated simply that I would cling to her for life....motorcycle or not.
Yes but it would not be you breaking them if she set an ultimatum. That decision to break the vow would rest solely upon her. If you set an ultimatum then the choice to break/not break the vow would rest upon you.


Quote:
The greatest attribute that a couple can share is the willingness to compromise
I agree but an ultimatum is not a compromise, it is totalitarian control by one person over another. I have no issue with a compromise but I will not be told what I am allowed to do by someone that is suppose to love and respect me. I also would not tell another person what they can and can not do beyond what those vows imply. Trying to manipulate someone's happiness is not what marriage is about and doing so is a deal breaker for me.
__________________
"I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." ~Edgar Allen Poe~
My HD Scram-ster build
Help Save a Pit-Bull
Ginger Beard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 08:52 AM   #160
DavidBanner
Banned
 
Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Planet earf.
Oddometer: 1,163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Moore View Post
i'm here all week. try the veal.
DavidBanner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 09:40 AM   #161
FinlandThumper
Has Cake/Eats it Too
 
FinlandThumper's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Neither here nor there
Oddometer: 5,940
As said several times here, I think it is more a matter of a guy not wanting something bad enough, but wanting to come up with an explanation that shifts blame to someone else. Easiest to blame the partner in a case like this. Regardless. They rant being courageous enugh to own up to their own lack of decisiveness.

The other great excuse is "man I would really love to do (x), but I am just too busy and don't have time." That is bullshit too normally, because if thing x was something you really truly wanted to do, you would find time for it. But, you have other priorities that come first, and after doing those things you are most interested in you don't have time left for the extra thing. Which is totally fine, but it's something that should be owned up to. For example, I have a scuba license, but don't dive anymore. Not through lack of interest, but rather lack of sufficient interest to prioritize it over motorcycles, bicycles, and my other hobbies.

My wife and I don't do the "let" thing.
FinlandThumper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 10:13 AM   #162
waveydavey
happy times!!
 
waveydavey's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Pulling dragons from the ground again
Oddometer: 9,303
Quote:
Originally Posted by genespleen View Post
"Why are most men so emasculated?"

Two problems. First, that question contains what is in fact a quantitative assumption. We've yet to see evidence supporting it in any meaningful way.

Second: Inadequate definition of terms. The author has got to make the case that what he sees as "emasculation" isn't something else--say, thoughtfulness, partnership, willingness to compromise. (That is unless he wants to jettison those behaviors as in-and-of-themselves emasculized.) Failing that, all we've got is lazy thinking and lashing out.

Frankly, mostly what's on display is just a bunch of anecdotal whining from folks who are upset that some of their "fellow" men aren't behaving "properly." This seems somewhat defensive and insecure.
do tell princess
__________________
FUCK CANCER!!!!
waveydavey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 01:20 PM   #163
alii1959
Studly Adventurer
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Georgia, USA
Oddometer: 521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginger Beard View Post
Yes but it would not be you breaking them if she set an ultimatum. That decision to break the vow would rest solely upon her. If you set an ultimatum then the choice to break/not break the vow would rest upon you.




I agree but an ultimatum is not a compromise, it is totalitarian control by one person over another. I have no issue with a compromise but I will not be told what I am allowed to do by someone that is suppose to love and respect me. I also would not tell another person what they can and can not do beyond what those vows imply. Trying to manipulate someone's happiness is not what marriage is about and doing so is a deal breaker for me.
Agree wholeheartedly, but what I can't quite wrap my brain around is the fact that the tendency not to be compromising was there prior to marriage and yet it was probably dismissed. I stand amazed constantly when told by people that he/she "changed", when if you continue to listen to the diatribe you discover that those characteristics were there all along, but didn't seem to be "such a big deal". Too often we overlook the personality quirks of perspective mates and wind up paying the price later. I have seen very few divorces that were truly one-sided....and that was my point in the first place.

In my case, as it applies to motorcycling, my wife got me back into it after nearly 20 years away. She got tired of me wheezing, asthma, my way home from work and bought me a 250 Ninja...which, of course, led to a 2001 Triumph....2008 GSXR.....2004 Road King. I still bicycle a lot, but not to work....yet.

I guess I just expect people to talk a great deal prior to marriage...honest talk...not necessarily for a great deal of time, just honest. I also recognize that people don't think this through as well as they should regardless of how long they date. It is all really quite sad. And, it is a tiny victory to get to do what you want now that you have lost your woman.....just kinda sad.
__________________
Because it is my bike and I like it that way!
alii1959 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 07:35 PM   #164
Human Ills
Useful Idiom
 
Human Ills's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: South (Dog help me) Bay
Oddometer: 20,731
Quote:
Originally Posted by waveydavey View Post
do tell princess
I gotta say, the man who bends in order to meet your, or someone else's criteria for masculinity, is less of a man.
Human Ills is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 08:03 PM   #165
fancy_ninja
Adventurer
 
fancy_ninja's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2012
Location: The Lone Star State, Y'all...
Oddometer: 40
It's a test...(my 2 cents)

Women test the men to whom they are attracted in their social spheres. If a woman pushes and a man concedes, she "wins" and "loses." She "wins" in that she gets her way, but she "loses" respect from a man who cannot be tamed-a paradigm of masculine goodness who can LEAD and INSPIRE her to be the best version of herself, one who can protect her and whom she wishes to protect.

It comes down to breeding; women test in order to determine if a mate is worthy or not. Women, like men, love a challenge. I think it's engrained in our natures to test and push to find a worthy mate to see if and to what extent he will both challenge and protect us; if we test and push a man, and he concedes (no matter how small the compromise) it is both a victory and a loss.

You didn't put an unscented dryer sheet in the load with the sheets? You didn't get the right kind of milk at the store? You want to keep your muddy riding boots by the door? Your clothes can't make it to the hamper? You didn't or did do this or that..these challenges can come in the form of nagging, or even ultimatums. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I haven't nagged myself..but I will tell you I'm now conscious of the ways I challenge and WHY I challenge, and realize it boils down to attraction and the need to protect and be protected. It's a test for breeding and the proliferation of our species. Because I'm CONSCIOUS of this, I'm able to modify my behavior accordingly, and channel this need into focusing more on my guy and his needs and goals, rather than the menial, worthless things that don't BENEFIT HUMANITY. Apologies if this sounds epic, but IMHO we are talking about passing on genetic material to future generations. Somewhere in a female's genetic makeup this pushing and testing is ingrained in our behavior when potential mates are in our social sphere. I realize I'm speaking in generalizations, but generalizations are there as they have been repeated behaviors of a specific group. In the spirit of this thread, I'm speaking in generalizations; however, I acknowledge there are exceptions to every rule, and again, these are just my 2 cents..

Please don't hear me saying there's not a place for compromise in a relationship; it is quite the opposite. Without discussion nothing can be resolved. Don't go the opposite way with this, please, and refuse to discuss or be logical in response to your SO. I'm merely trying to show, from a woman's perspective, some of the reasons we test, demand, and try to force the men in our lives to act, not act, do, not do, perform, or not perform in a certain way. Realize you're in her sphere and INFLUENTIAL and IMPORTANT to her. That kind of knowledge is powerful, and will hopefully incite some good thoughts/discussions. Thanks to my best friend for hours of great cerebral discussions on this matter.

Just some thoughts..
__________________
"I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world." -Walt Whitman

"...You speak like a green girl, unsifted in such perilous circumstance." -Polonius in Hamlet
fancy_ninja is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Share

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

.
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


Times are GMT -7.   It's 01:44 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ADVrider 2011-2014