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Old 10-26-2012, 09:58 AM   #256
prettydirty4u
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Omg....

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Originally Posted by Mistress of the dual View Post
Someone needs to tell that guy the phone number to a good divorce lawyer because psycho-wife is just going to get more insecure and paranoid.
Crazy girls!!! Seriously, why would you allow someone to track your every move? I couldn't imagine ever being this insecure...grow a pair, shut the tracker off and tell her if she doesn't like to head out the same door she came in thru.
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Old 10-26-2012, 12:07 PM   #257
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Some people in some bad situations here. I find it hard to believe there weren't craziness warning signs that were ignored in the courting phase.
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Old 10-26-2012, 01:11 PM   #258
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Some people in some bad situations here. I find it hard to believe there weren't craziness warning signs that were ignored in the courting phase.
Yup. Check out the parents and see how crazy they are. Look at mom, and you'll get some insight into what your sweetie's going to look like in 20+ years.
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Old 10-26-2012, 01:39 PM   #259
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Originally Posted by Disco Stu View Post
reminds me of my ex-wife. i've mentioned before about how we'd both agreed that we didn't want kids. a couple of years after the wedding, she told me that she'd stopped taking birth control, started taking fertility drugs and if i didn't like it, i could leave. we had a long conversation that night.

Apparently, she wasn't done talking, because when I woke up the next morning, she'd hidden my wallet and keys. She wasn't going to let me leave for work until we talked. After some yelling, she 'gave me' my keys and my drivers license.' It took some more yelling and threatening, then she came in with my wallet and $10 (for lunch) , but no credit cards, etc.

I found the rest of my cash and credit cards, went into work and told them I was taking a personal day, cancelled our joint credit cards, opened a new credit card in my name only(and had it sent to my office address), and went and found an apartment that afternoon.
Is there not some old line about an irresistable force colliding with an unmoveable object?
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Old 10-27-2012, 07:05 AM   #260
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Uh, here is the long awaited missing link: Feminism is socialism and therefore evil.
This is your link, not mine. Lets be clear, social ism isn't intrinsically more evil than democracy, its problem is it doesn't account for the difference in people. That is, some want merit to have an impact on the outcome. If I work harder then I want more return on my investment. Democracy attempts to bring merit into the equation and that is why I like it more. Feminism is, in its latter day form, wants to deny merit. Feminists want merit to be placed on gender, which by nature is meritless.

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As a side note, if you equate more government with socialism, then I guess the Republicans are socialists as well. Think Patriot Act, homeland security and the military... all more government. Bloody socialists.
I can't disagree with that.

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I still don't get what is so hard to accept about gender equality, especially since it seems it is the people crying the loudest about freedom and liberty that cling to the "old" values. Maybe it is just freedom and liberty for themselves they are interested in. The (non-physical) differences between man and woman are probably smaller than the differences between, say, a central European and someone maybe from the Southern States.
I would have no problem with gender equality, but that is not what we have. We have a system based on gender not merit. Hiring for example. You can't just work harder and be more talented and get the job, you must also be female.

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All humans. All very similar if you compare us to a manatee for instance. Yet we concentrate so much on the differences, and mainly to make ourselves feel superior to our neighbour. That is counter productive if you ask me.
Again, I agree

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I guess all that drivel leads to the same conclusion many had in this thread though: "my wife [won't] let me", meant seriously, hints at unhealthy parts of a relationship, one way or another.
Exactly.

Coma screwed with this post 10-27-2012 at 07:05 AM Reason: formatting
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Old 10-27-2012, 08:28 AM   #261
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Well, Coma, I guess I agree with you on basically everything now that you put it clearer (clearer to me - sometimes I need stuff put in different words), except that we might have a different definition of what socialism is.

What you describe sounds like what I would call communism. A concept that wouldn't work for humans, sadly.

As for feminism, we still are a long way from equality. Women are in most areas still disadvantaged, so there is still fighting to be done. And if you look at it from a global perspective, it doesn't look nice at all.

Problem is just that in some areas, like in your example, it just swings too far the other way. Furthermore, this diminishes any achievement by that person that gets hired based partly or fully on gender - or any other outside trait, for that matter.
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Old 10-27-2012, 09:01 AM   #262
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Well, Coma, I guess I agree with you on basically everything now that you put it clearer (clearer to me - sometimes I need stuff put in different words), except that we might have a different definition of what socialism is.

What you describe sounds like what I would call communism. A concept that wouldn't work for humans, sadly.

As for feminism, we still are a long way from equality. Women are in most areas still disadvantaged, so there is still fighting to be done. And if you look at it from a global perspective, it doesn't look nice at all.

Problem is just that in some areas, like in your example, it just swings too far the other way. Furthermore, this diminishes any achievement by that person that gets hired based partly or fully on gender - or any other outside trait, for that matter.
Cool!
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Old 10-27-2012, 07:14 PM   #263
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Once, as a young man, I broke up with a curvy blonde party girl with really nice C cup tits who loved to have a few beers and vigorous freak in the sheets sex on pretty much a daily basis. Being a young man, I was very much in favor of that program until she told me one day that she could never be serious with me because I ride motorcycles. Sure enough, we finally parted ways. Man, that was some good sex Good as it was, I realized even then that there are more important things in life. Made the decision then and there to ride her as long as I could get away with, but knowing all along that the end was in sight. No way I was gonna give up the bikes, but I let her try to convince me for awhile!

Later found and married a woman who understands I ride, and that it is central to who I am. She loves me, bikes and all. Life is good, it has been 17 years. She used to ride with me on the street bike, but not anymore. She may when the kids are grown as long as the bike is of the Gold Wing variety. Should be fun. She has her things, I have mine and we have some shared. Works well because we are independent, and yet come together. No person can be solely responsible for another's happiness.

I see those ads, bike for sale, baby on the way. Makes me sad. 5 years from now, there will be a divorce...
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Old 10-28-2012, 09:53 AM   #264
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[QUOTE=Duken4evr;19914555..

Later found and married a woman who understands I ride, and that it is central to who I am. She loves me, bikes and all. Life is good, it has been 17 years. She used to ride with me on the street bike, but not anymore. She may when the kids are grown as long as the bike is of the Gold Wing variety. Should be fun. She has her things, I have mine and we have some shared. Works well because we are independent, and yet come together. No person can be solely responsible for another's happiness.

I see those ads, bike for sale, baby on the way. Makes me sad. 5 years from now, there will be a divorce...[/QUOTE]


Glad you found someone worth staying with.

Just a note on the 'baby on the way' thing though - three bikes ago I bought a used one off of a guy who did have a third baby on the way. He was selling a bike I bought for... $600 This wasn't a lifestyle change since he had been working his butt off, or watching the kids when she was working and he was out of work, over the last few years. They just really needed the money... and I'm seeing a lot of that out there (more so than the ever classic and prevalent idiot guys who spent too much on one last fling... a bike... before the family that they couldn't afford was coming - there are a lot of those still out there who are too focused on their own short term happiness while knowing full well what their future holds and income can really afford).
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Old 10-29-2012, 10:27 AM   #265
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Originally Posted by Duken4evr View Post
I see those ads, bike for sale, baby on the way. Makes me sad. 5 years from now, there will be a divorce...
These and selling because a guy is getting married is not always because of the woman. My cousin sold his bike to me because he was getting married but it was his choice. His future wife had actually enjoyed riding on the back and told him he could keep it.
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Old 10-29-2012, 11:11 AM   #266
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Originally Posted by Duken4evr View Post
Once, as a young man, I broke up with a curvy blonde party girl with really nice C cup tits who loved to have a few beers and vigorous freak in the sheets sex on pretty much a daily basis. Being a young man, I was very much in favor of that program until she told me one day that she could never be serious with me because I ride motorcycles. Sure enough, we finally parted ways. Man, that was some good sex Good as it was, I realized even then that there are more important things in life. Made the decision then and there to ride her as long as I could get away with, but knowing all along that the end was in sight. No way I was gonna give up the bikes, but I let her try to convince me for awhile!ce...

Good call.

The humurous truth is that now she is probably overweight (all the years of drinking and partying), saddled with kids she may not want and possibly suffering the health effects of too much partying in her youth.

You, on the other hand, are still enjoying your motorcycles
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Old 10-31-2012, 03:49 PM   #267
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The failure of fathers. Men don't understand how to be men and thus can't teach their sons. The rise of feminism and the portrayal of weak, bumbling men in the media don't help, but IMHO it all boils down to lack of good fathers.

EDIT: Oh, and as human ills said in the post above, people do what they want to do. But that's a different discussion than why the modern American man is weak.
\
Amen Brother. EVERY commercial involving couples, depicts the male as a spineless bumbling dullard, and the woman as a sharp, clear thinking leader. EVERY one.
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Old 10-31-2012, 05:56 PM   #268
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\
amen brother. Every commercial involving couples, depicts the male as a spineless bumbling dullard, and the woman as a sharp, clear thinking leader. Every one.
+1
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Old 10-31-2012, 07:36 PM   #269
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Years ago I was involved with a young lady that I felt was going to be the one. She had a great personality, a beautiful soul and was pretty as could be. On top of it all she was a complete freak in the bedroom. I suppose it could just be my perception seeing as she was the first I ever had, but all the same she was into things that would make Larry Flynt blush. I'm not kidding folks, she really knew how to make a young man's toes curl in all the right ways. This "loving" relationship went on for several months before we decided to really think about being more than a couple of young'ns that liked to have frequent morning, noon and night interludes. When that time came I informed her that I my hobbies included playing the bass guitar and flying radio controlled airplanes. She wanted to have NONE of it because she felt that such hobbies were expensive and spending money on such frivolity was a fool's errand. I was given the ultimatum that if I wanted to have her for more than just mind blowing nookie, I would have to give up my musical instruments and toy airplanes. I really do miss her sometimes.


The reality is, that story was complete bullshit. But, since it doesn't seem like a relationship thread can happen without some boob bringing up the nympho hottie girlfirend they had when they were younger, I figured I should jump on that bandwagon.


On to something more real:

I do not understand why people get into relationships with control freaks. I never have, and never would. I'm another guy that has a wife that doesn't try to tell him what to do all of the time. I have a lot of silly hobbies, none of which are cheap. On top of that I suffer from what my wife has labeled "hobby ADD" in so much as I will jump from one to the other without a blink.

Motorcycling has been the only one in the past few years that has stuck for more than a few months. I love it that much. When I first approached my wife with the idea of getting a motorcycle, her only concern was financial. We're in kind of a lean transition period (both of us working on getting degrees, full time students) so we have to watch our budget like hawks. She didn't do any of the "OH MY! You could get HURT" nonsense. Instead her words were "you're an adult, do what you want."

We don't play the threat game with each other. We went into our relationship with the attitude that it's a partnership, not a one sided dictatorship. Many times after reading "I want to get a motorcycle but my wife won't let me" threads on various forums, I've turned to my wife and told her how much I appreciate the fact she's not a controlling twit.
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Old 10-31-2012, 08:12 PM   #270
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On to something more real:

I do not understand why people get into relationships with control freaks. I never have, and never would.
I got into it by assuming that other people communicated in the same manner as me. when i say i state a position on something, like what I need, or what I want, I'm telling you how i feel. This is what i actually need.

My ex bluffed at everything; it was all a big negotiation to her.

I didn't realize this until afterwards. When I was telling her what I needed, she was interpreting that as my opening offer, and trying to argue me down. When she was telling me what she 'needed' she was actually telling me her opening position, but I was interpreting that as her actual needs, not wants.

It took years, but when the light of the discrepancy between how each of us was communicating to the other and how each was interpreting the other's statements, it's no wonder that we failed.

To you original statement: I think there's some people that don't 'get into' relationships with control freaks; they simply don't realize that the other person IS a control freak because the two parties are communicating in different frameworks and misinterpreting the others' communications.

I guess i've learned from the past and carried a little baggage forward. nowadays, the first time i try to communicate something important, i trie to do so with (what i see as) normal rules of politeness and social grace. But if that fails to communicate the point I meant to convey, my second attempt is completely direct, blunt and possibly rude. I refuse to go to round three in communicating my boundary points, i'd rather clean up hurt feelings by being blunt than mis-communicate, send the wrong message, and relive the past.

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