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Old 11-28-2012, 09:51 PM   #46
caryder
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You being nervous is a bad sign and your sister isn't doing you any favors. If you give up riding for someone else you will resent it. It needs to be your decision because you have rational reasons for doing it, not emotional reasons. Don't let projected fear work its way into your head or you will make those fears come true.

I was never apprehensive about riding, but when my family was young, and after I had a minor accident that kept me out of work for a week I sold my Suzuki 750 more for financial reasons than anything else. I had been riding daily since I was 11, rode street since age 15, competed in enduro, motocross, and road racing until I was married. I had logged a lot of miles by then. After 6 months without a bike I couldn't stand it so I bought a used CR250. Later I sold the 250 and acquired a used GS 550 for $150. It wasn't running, but there was nothing wrong with it and ran great for years until I traded it for a KDX400 but I digress.

Good luck on dropping the ride. I wasn't successful, but my reasons were financial. I couldn't stand not riding however, I never felt I was risking my life riding a motorcycle. If I did, I don't think I would ride. I acknowledge there is more risk but I don't feel at risk if that makes sense, and I commute every day.

Statistically the risk of death from an accident is about 14 times higher (could be 17 now as accident rates for cars are lower now) than in an automobile. (certainly not 35 times, I'm curious where you acquired that number). On the flip side ~3% of motorcycles are involved in accidents yearly compared to ~5% automobiles.

That said millions of motorcycles log millions of miles per year yet there are ~5000 deaths per year. You are much more likely to live a full life even if you ride a motorcycle and if you don't ride it certainly doesn't eliminate all other risks of an early death. Food for thought. I'm sure when your sister tearfully expressed her concerns she wasn't basing it on any meaningful research.

Chuck
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caryder screwed with this post 11-28-2012 at 10:15 PM
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Old 11-29-2012, 12:08 AM   #47
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+1

Everyone is different and must make their own decision.

I continued to ride when my son was born. I had actually gotten my wife to start riding her own motorcycle a little before she got pregnant. She quit riding when she was pregnant and quit riding as a passenger with me for several years after our son was born. We didn't want to take a chance of both of us being in an accident. My wife never rode her own bike again, wasn't really her thing anyway. She does ride as a passenger occasionally, but not often.

We were both active duty at the time so we had decent jobs and life insurance.

The amount of time I rode was much less after he was born. I continued to ride short rides when I could. Didn't do any multiple day trips again until he was a teenager, he is 16 now. Plus with school, soccer, tennis, etc. we were often on the road on weekends for some sports event. My wife was deployed for 2 of 4 years when he was about 10-13. There were times often times when I could only go for an hour. I haven't been less involved or less of a father because I ride a motorcycle. Everyone needs something they like to do and an opportunity to get away. Motorcycling is perfect for short get aways.
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Old 11-29-2012, 05:31 AM   #48
RxZ
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2 kids. Still ride.
Dude! Your bike is gone?!? Great picture though!
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Old 11-29-2012, 05:46 AM   #49
kraven
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No kids. All my friends have kids. The ones who stopped riding regret it, if they're guys who ride because it's something they love. The guys who ride because all the guys in the peer group got bikes and it was what everyone was doing that year, they quit when they have kids and never go back to it.

So, from my perspective, it depends on why you ride more than if you have kids.
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Old 11-29-2012, 06:10 AM   #50
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I'm not giving up riding, just being smarter about it.

Since you're asking, this would be my best advice. As previous posters have related, my wife knew I was a rider when we got married but she was never happy about it. Her dad was an oral surgeon and had "repaired all kinds of jaws of people that wrecked those goddamed things", so after our son was born the pressure became unbearable, I relented, sold my bikes, and regretted it for the rest of time. Being forced out of motorcycling was only one issue we had, so we divorced when the kids were 15 and 12. The first thing I did was buy two dirt bikes so my son could ride with me ! Since it was my first mid-life crisis I also bought a seven passenger hot tub which was a lot of fun/trouble . The kids loved it too.

Funny thing, when our son expressed an interest in learning to fly airplanes both his Mom and Grandpa were fully supportive of that but still hated motorcycles . He's got his commercial license and also teaches aerobatics now, and we are all happy for him and proud of his accomplishments. I'd suspect those endeavors are much more likely to get a person killed than riding a motorcycle, but for some reason that's acceptable and motorcycles are not. Go figger.

So, my best advice would be to keep your bike and moderate your riding to accomodate the fact that you have a family now. I hope your wife respects your passion and doesn't make an issue of it.

Doug
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Old 11-29-2012, 08:16 AM   #51
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And last I heard, the stats were 17 times more likely, but that takes into account the fact that 60-70% of deaths on motorcycles can be attributed to alcohol and/or speeding. Either way, roughly 5,000 people died in the latest reported year on the NHTSA website. 5,000 pedestrians died being struck by other vehicles as well for what its worth.
I'm not a parent and maybe my view will change when I am, but this is a key one: Me riding a motorbike is not as dangerous as "a motorcyclist compared to a car driver". We're talking about average members of the populace, as the stats are based on. If it's 16/17 times more dangerous by bike (which is the most oft-quoted stat I see) that looks bad on the face of it. Then I consider that stats also show that my advanced riding qualification decreases that likelihood of a serious accident by a factor of four: Suddenly it's only 4/5 times more dangerous than driving. Then never riding DUI more than halves that figure again. Chuck in ATGATT and before you know it, it's only two or three times more dangerous for me to ride a motorbike than the risk an average car driver is exposed to. Yes, I am considerably safer when I'm in a car, but when on a bike, it's still well within my accepted threshold of risk.

You can also factor in that most deaths and serious injuries do not involve other vehicles; the main factor in whether you die is your ability to negotiate turns at high speed and not chicken out and fail to lean the bike over further. Again, this is in your control and there are things you can do to stack the odds in your favour.

Another thing, which one parent I know uses to justify his riding was that when he tried stopping riding, he ended up resenting his kids for it and that he preferred to ride and still love them!

That all said, I think this is the sort of thing every single couple needs to agree on. I also think it's a good discussion to have with your other half, before you start thinking about kids!
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Old 11-29-2012, 08:23 AM   #52
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I have three girls, a 12 yo, a 10 yo and a brand new born on Feb 14 this year. In May I sold my V-Strom......










...and bough a http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphoto...41002024_o.jpg
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Old 11-29-2012, 08:33 AM   #53
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I have an 8 and 9 year old. I am always ATGATT, I don't ride like a hooligan, never drink and ride, and have taken further instructed motorcycle safety training to better my own skills. If all else fails, I have good health insurance and a sizable life insurance policy.

This isn't a foolproof solution... But so many of the dangerous motorcycle statistics come from squids riding too fast with no gear, Harley-tards riding from bar to bar with only a leather vest for 'protection,' and riders who never take any form of training and are a danger to themselves from the get go. I don't think motorcycle crash statistics represent me as a rider.
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Old 11-29-2012, 08:38 AM   #54
RxZ
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This whole post is exactly what my wife and I worked out. I did all the research I could find (which unfortunately is not much) before I got into motorcycling, and what you have said is exactly what I found out.

Your last paragraph is the best. Every couple should talk about these issues. If a wife is apprehensive about her partner riding, she should say so instead of the old "he'll change after we are married" routine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceri JC View Post
I'm not a parent and maybe my view will change when I am, but this is a key one: Me riding a motorbike is not as dangerous as "a motorcyclist compared to a car driver". We're talking about average members of the populace, as the stats are based on. If it's 16/17 times more dangerous by bike (which is the most oft-quoted stat I see) that looks bad on the face of it. Then I consider that stats also show that my advanced riding qualification decreases that likelihood of a serious accident by a factor of four: Suddenly it's only 4/5 times more dangerous than driving. Then never riding DUI more than halves that figure again. Chuck in ATGATT and before you know it, it's only two or three times more dangerous for me to ride a motorbike than the risk an average car driver is exposed to. Yes, I am considerably safer when I'm in a car, but when on a bike, it's still well within my accepted threshold of risk.

You can also factor in that most deaths and serious injuries do not involve other vehicles; the main factor in whether you die is your ability to negotiate turns at high speed and not chicken out and fail to lean the bike over further. Again, this is in your control and there are things you can do to stack the odds in your favour.

Another thing, which one parent I know uses to justify his riding was that when he tried stopping riding, he ended up resenting his kids for it and that he preferred to ride and still love them!

That all said, I think this is the sort of thing every single couple needs to agree on. I also think it's a good discussion to have with your other half, before you start thinking about kids!
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Old 11-29-2012, 10:16 AM   #55
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I pretty much only commute to work, with an occasional jaunt up the twisty mountain road here in Tucson. My firstborn arrived just last month, and I know my wife and I are both aware of the dangers of riding. She'd never tell me "no" (as she was the one that got her license first and encouraged me to ride) but I do know she worries that much more.

To help ease her fears, I ride to work before/after normal "rush" hours and try to take less-traveled roads.
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Old 11-29-2012, 10:19 AM   #56
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I wouldn't dream of telling someone what I think they should do in a situation like this. You have to do what is right for you. As for me, I kept riding. My kid is a sophomre in college now.
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Old 11-29-2012, 12:43 PM   #57
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My kid is a sophomre in college now.
Sweet. Must me proud to see your kids go further with their education than you ever did...










On topic, I have a friend with a 2-year-old. He didn't sell his CBR, but he doesn't ride it too much these days -- not for lack of wanting to, but for lack of time! He's just so busy all the time he doesn't get the chance. I don't think he rode it at all the first year after his kid was born.
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Old 11-29-2012, 12:57 PM   #58
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Thanks again everyone. Still torn, and I do have to remind myself that I am getting opinions from active motorcyclists who LOVE to ride (probably get a different set if there was a discussion board for parents who gave up riding after having kids ) and I am still mulling things over. Contacted my insurance agent about upping my policy, and I took the S2000 to work today to see if I can have as much fun in it. The answer: it is fun as hell, but doesn't hold a candle to a motorcycle. Gonna go for a few rides on my Tiger this coming week (since it is going to be 70 degrees and sunny) and see what it's like now that I haven't been on it in a week or so. I would love to just keep both, but we are about to buy a new car so one of my toys has to go. It is hard to let go of this S2000 though, because they stopped making them and the ricers are slowly crashing the remaining ones, so I do think it is one of those rare cars that will be a classic one day. Hell, it is worth $2,000 more now than when I bought it 3 years ago.

Still not a bike though.
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Old 11-29-2012, 01:11 PM   #59
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Have you thought about just selling the kid instead? I hear there is a market for that these days...

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Old 11-29-2012, 01:53 PM   #60
PhilB
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceri JC View Post
I'm not a parent and maybe my view will change when I am, but this is a key one: Me riding a motorbike is not as dangerous as "a motorcyclist compared to a car driver". We're talking about average members of the populace, as the stats are based on. If it's 16/17 times more dangerous by bike (which is the most oft-quoted stat I see) that looks bad on the face of it. Then I consider that stats also show that my advanced riding qualification decreases that likelihood of a serious accident by a factor of four: Suddenly it's only 4/5 times more dangerous than driving. Then never riding DUI more than halves that figure again. Chuck in ATGATT and before you know it, it's only two or three times more dangerous for me to ride a motorbike than the risk an average car driver is exposed to. Yes, I am considerably safer when I'm in a car, but when on a bike, it's still well within my accepted threshold of risk.

You can also factor in that most deaths and serious injuries do not involve other vehicles; the main factor in whether you die is your ability to negotiate turns at high speed and not chicken out and fail to lean the bike over further. Again, this is in your control and there are things you can do to stack the odds in your favour.

Another thing, which one parent I know uses to justify his riding was that when he tried stopping riding, he ended up resenting his kids for it and that he preferred to ride and still love them!

That all said, I think this is the sort of thing every single couple needs to agree on. I also think it's a good discussion to have with your other half, before you start thinking about kids!
+1. Well said.

PhilB
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