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Old 03-27-2013, 02:11 PM   #16
tokyoklahoma
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Question when

When did criticism become a bad thing?

How can one learn and improve without honest criticism?
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:11 PM   #17
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Have you two discussed what is expected of "group" riding? (yes I know, two isn't really a group, but the concepts still apply)

It may ease her stress if she know the both of you have the same expectations for riding together. Perhaps sit down one evening at home and together go over group riding etiquette.

http://www.arng.army.mil/soldierreso...Group_Ride.pdf

http://www.msgroup.org/Articles.aspx?Cat=11
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D R screwed with this post 03-27-2013 at 02:22 PM
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:55 PM   #18
High Country Herb
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Some good advice here.

I second the idea of getting comms. I just bought the Sena SMH5 (also from RocketMoto using the advrider group buy). With a bunch of extras, it was around $250 for the 2 person setup. It came in the mail today, so I haven't used it yet, but we have used corded comms when riding 2-up.

I imagine I will face the same issues as you, since my wife just got her learner's permit. If she doesn't leave room for me when changing lanes, I might say "whoa, I better catch up!" hoping she will get the hint without feeling criticized. Maybe adding "sweetie" to the end of a turn signal reminder will lesson the sting. I am also looking forward to being able to help her by pointing out hazards such as "That guy isn't even looking at us." - "us" being the key word that places the caution on both of us.
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Old 03-27-2013, 04:29 PM   #19
dwoodward
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuna Helper View Post
^^ That's a good idea, I'd start off with "How do you feel you did?" and follow up with "I'd like it if..."
"When I'm leading, I try to..."

My Spouse Unit's problem is when I lead, I'm toward the centerline; she likes to ride a) in my blind spot, and b) about a foot off the curb... swerving out for parked cars.
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Old 03-27-2013, 04:47 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by dwoodward View Post
My Spouse Unit's problem is when I lead, I'm toward the centerline; she likes to ride a) in my blind spot, and b) about a foot off the curb... swerving out for parked cars.
I'm sorry. I meant to say "My problem is..."







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Old 03-27-2013, 09:47 PM   #21
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My wife drives a Subaru Outback with those stick people in the back window. Nuff said?

The only riding she does is in the sidecar.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:05 PM   #22
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Sadly my beloved has retired from riding motorcycles... And moved onto much more expensive hobbies.....horses.
When we rode together, she liked to lead, and we had a scala intercomm which only worked one way(or so I told her).. Any critism of her riding or technique was frowned upon........I new my place.....
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:40 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Dismount View Post
Do you always

speak in haiku form?
Yep, he does.
He says it's how his brain works.

Welcome to ADVRider!
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Quote:
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Someone quote me so he can see my response
Quote:
Originally Posted by POLLOCK28 (XDTALK.com)
From what I understand from frequenting various forums you are handling this critisim completely wrong. You are supposed to get bent out of shape and start turning towards personal attacks. Get with the program!
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:26 AM   #24
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Yep, he does.
He says it's how his brain works.

Welcome to ADVRider!
thks

bastard

took my thunder

cheers
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:50 AM   #25
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I can understand your wife's point. If it was me i would just let her lead and not worry about every little technical point of her riding. She left a blinher on, no big deal. And I don't require any special consideration from the leader when there is going to be lane change.
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Old 03-29-2013, 03:20 AM   #26
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Interesting subject. I've been riding for > 20 years and ride in groups, in the mountains, long distance trips and the guys and me did extensive training so we ride quite a lot and often quite fast. A little example Italy There are even a few motorcycle police officers in this group and a guy with a racing license.
So about five years ago I met this lovely lady. She had been riding as long as I have, the difference being, that she had only been commuting every day to work for 15 years, but did not ride trips etc. Another thing she had going for her was that she is an avid scuba diver, this however she took further than I did, as I was a holiday diver and she is an instructor.

So I took her riding and I know I ride quite well, but I'm not an instructor and was afraid I wouldn't do to good as a teacher. I tackled this by taking her to a two day advanced riding course. We had a lot of fun and she was quite happy with what she learned. The next thing was that we went on a trip together. She wants to stay behind me, because she said she could learn more by watching me. We also went on a trip with the guys, but she didn't like that as she, at that time, felt she couldn't keep up. The guys didn't mind that at all. Over the years she has been getting quite a lot better and can ride as good as any of us, and better. But still she doesn't want to ride in front of me, she does go on trips with the guys, but only for weekends, not for longer trips. We do have comm, but rarely use it. We use sign language, like while diving.
That sets the equilibrium too, the diving. She is a better navigator than I am. We dive a lot in murky waters, where navigation is essential. So she always gets to lead the dives and makes the decisions where we go and what we do.

I do not offer a lot of criticism while riding, yes she always leaves the turn signal on too, I just signal whit my hand, it's no big thing. Last time we went riding she was constantly riding at the outer right hand side of the lane. At a stopping light I just said: Mind your position please. The answer was "you're right, I was not paying attention." with the lady in the Pyrenees and the Alps

So riding she listens to me, diving it's the other way around
And as we talk about her riding, I always tell her how good she had become, but maybe you good try this or that. That is the way we train people at courses I give in my work too. First "what was good?" then "what could be done better?", and not "what went wrong?" That is a better approach for any training, then just telling them "you're an oaf and should do this or that"
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:55 PM   #27
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Between us, my wife and I currently have 7 bikes in the garage, including our BMWs, track bikes and a couple of collector bikes. She only started riding 13 years ago, but has now logged about 200k miles or so. We're also both MSF RiderCoaches (for the past 4 years or so), OEM demo riders, track riders, and do some other stuff in the industry as well.

Even after several years of her riding (I've got over 40 years in the saddle), I kept seeing her as a new rider. I would constantly be evaluating her riding and would often (not thinking) try to correct errors. It finally dawned on me after several years that she was now an experienced rider, and was going through the same learning process we all do as we ride. I finally learned to shut up and let her learn on her own. It has been a great time watching her mature as a rider. Now when we finish a ride, we'll often talk about a particular stretch of road, or the line through a corner that one or the other of us screwed up! Instead of having a wife who rides, I now have a great and capable riding partner who also just happens to be my beautiful wife.

We also gave up rider-to-rider comms a few years ago. We discovered that the comms only meant we kept talking about other stuff besides riding when we were on the bikes. Instead of that, now we too have a large collection of hand signs we use to communicate when necessary. It lets us enjoy the ride and each other, while not being distracted by other stuff.

Oh, and she cleans her own bikes and changes her own oil, too. I am a lucky guy...
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:17 PM   #28
joef
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Riding with my wife, NO, I don't do it why ruin a good thing
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:50 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 390beretta View Post
She sometimes shows off by standing on her pegs in a dirt parking lot where there are a lot of Harley riders sitting around.
This sentence had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of your post. I'm curious why you added it. Also, I ride a Harley and I wouldn't be the slightest bit impressed. She stood on the pegs, big deal?
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:18 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by TXRKC View Post
This sentence had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of your post. I'm curious why you added it. Also, I ride a Harley and I wouldn't be the slightest bit impressed. She stood on the pegs, big deal?
I was picturing a beautiful long, tall, slender lady wearing a leather bikini and motocross boots. You be quite!

Not exactly what I saw in my minds eye but a great all the same!


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